Savage Collision: A Hawke Family Novel (Hawke Family #1)(96)
This room is just like the others and I wonder if they are specifically designed to make you uneasy. I’m sure that isn’t the case. In fact, I remember reading some article about paint colors and how hospitals and doctor’s offices use light greens and blues because they are supposed to be soothing colors. Well, the barely blue, basically white walls of this room are doing nothing to calm me, and sure as shit are doing nothing to calm Danika.
I reach out and lay my hand on her knee. Her head snaps up and she looks confused. “What?”
Smiling at her, I move my hand and, taking her hand in mine, I bring it to my mouth, pressing my lips to smooth skin on the back. “You were driving me crazy with the leg thing.”
“Oh, sorry,” she says, squeezing my hand, “I didn’t realize I was doing it.”
“I know, baby.” She never does. It’s one of her nervous habits, along with pacing and biting her nails, and I can’t blame her for being nervous today. My own stomach is churning and the familiar taste of acid begins working its way up my throat.
It hasn’t exactly been an easy year for us and the shit with Abello was just the culmination of months of dancing around our issues. But, that’s over now. I don’t hide things from her anymore, and I don’t think it’s possible for her to hide anything from me—she’s too damn honest and has proven time and time again that she lacks a filter.
Things have been relatively smooth sailing since the day we got married almost three months ago. She knelt next to me at the altar and promised to be with me through better or worse, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it was possible for things to ever be worse than what we’d already experienced. It’s not like most couples have mob bosses trying to kill them.
The fact that Abello has left us alone has just as much to do with my threat as it does with Danika’s ability to get back to work and pretend that tossing the story under the rug doesn’t eat away at her every day. If she hadn’t been able to do that, I don’t know where we would be. Things are still tense and a bit unsettled with Gabe’s father. After his resignation, he began his campaign to win us over by reinitiating contact, probably in hopes he could convince us to back off the edict we laid out for him. But right now, that’s the least of my worries.
Today, it would be easy to let go, let myself fully feel the trepidation I’ve been trying to keep at bay, but I have to be the strong one today. If it’s bad news, Danika won’t handle it well. I’m used to receiving bad news in doctor’s offices, and I know how to take it in stride. Danika, on the other hand, is far too invested to take it if it’s bad news.
Shit, who am I kidding? I won’t take it well either.
Still, it’s up to me to be strong for her today.
I press my lips to her temple, letting them linger there. I can never get enough of feeling her smooth skin against my mouth, my hands, everything. How I ever managed to be here, with her, like this, is beyond any comprehension even now. I’ve lost a lot of things in my life, but I found the one thing that mattered, and I will do anything to ensure she is happy.
“Where is the damn doctor, anyway?” She jumps up from her chair and paces back and forth in the small exam room, chewing on her finger nail. I try to hide my smirk behind my hand. She’s so adorably predictable sometimes. “It must be bad news. Why else would he keep us waiting like this?”
“Because he can, babe. Don’t assume it’s bad news.” Holding out my hand, I motion her over to me. “Come here.” She rolls her eyes and huffs before taking my hand and allowing me to pull her down onto my lap.
She immediately buries her face into my neck, her hot breath fluttering up around my ear as she snuggles against me. I gently rub my hand up and down her back and take her left hand in mine. My finger idly spins the ring on her finger back and forth, round and round. The tension is radiating off her, and I wish there was something I could say to make it better for her, something I haven’t already thought of over the last six months.
Burying my face in her hair, I inhale the lavender, bergamot, and peppermint scent of her shampoo. I start another attempt to calm her when the door flies open and Dr. Rudolph strolls in, smile on his face, clipboard tucked under his arm.
“Mr. and Mrs. Hawke, thank you so much for waiting. I apologize for the slight delay.” He sets the clipboard down and leans back against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest. “How are we doing today?”
Danika shifts on my lap, turning toward him. “Nervous, Doctor. Please, tell us what the tests said, tell us what’s wrong.”
Leave it to Danika to get right to the point. I squeeze her hand, hoping the small gesture might offer her some reassurance. She squeezes it back, but it is far from gentle as she apparently puts all her worry and frustration into crushing my fingers.
Dr. Rudolph smiles kindly and glances between us. “Why are you so sure something is wrong, Mrs. Hawke?”
She lets out an annoyed sigh and I have no doubt she’s gearing up to give the poor doc a tongue-lashing. I’m not brave enough a man to interrupt her, so I bite my tongue and wait for the show.
“Why? Because we have been trying to get pregnant for six months and it isn’t working!” she yells. “That shouldn’t happen! Teenagers get knocked up having sex once. We fuck like rabbits and nothing!”
I cover my smile with my free hand and Dr. Rudolph gives me a sympathetic look.