Sacrifice (The Snow Queen #2)(71)

She shook her head. “No, it’s not of course. You have a rare valiance.”

Farrin gave her a crooked smile. “You give me too much credit. In fact, I have decided when this war is over, I will no longer serve as a leader in the military. I would back out now if I could, but to do so would cause more problems, I think.”

Rakel drew back, pulling her hands from his in her surprise. “You would leave the military? Why? I know General Halvor hasn’t given you an official rank in the army and instead has put you in a position of leadership over the magic users, but I am certain he will work with you to make any changes you desire.” She hesitated, a small pain in her heart. “If you don’t wish to serve as a guard—”

“I never indicated I would stop guarding you,” Farrin said with another of his almost-there smiles. “And I’m afraid that I have no choice but to leave the military. As a leader, one must act for the good of the troops and the best tactic for the battle. I’m afraid I find it hard to focus these days.”

“Why?”

Farrin brushed his fingers against her cheek. “Because when the fighting begins, I have a difficult time thinking of anyone besides you.”

Rakel’s fingers and skin felt tingly—and not because of the cold. This is my opportunity to tell him what he means to me. “I love you,” Rakel blurted out. She tensed—embarrassed and a little mortified at her outburst, even if it was true. Well. That couldn’t have been anymore awkward. She risked a glance at Farrin. He was frozen with his fingers still touching her cheek, his eyes unblinking. She stifled a sigh. “I apologize. I don’t think that was the way a lady is supposed to present her feelings. It was…sudden.”

She felt her face go warm and considered burying herself under an avalanche of snow.

“Rakel.” Farrin’s voice brimmed with tenderness, and it made Rakel drag her gaze up to his. His eyes traced her face and were lit with a gentle glow Rakel hadn’t previously witnessed.

I think…that’s love.

His breath stirred her bangs as he slid his arms around her waist and scooped her closer. Holding her gaze, he drew closer and closer until—almost against her will—Rakel’s eyes shut, and he brushed his lips against hers.

Rakel hadn’t expected much from a kiss. She’d assumed it was a rather sloppy expression when a hug—her most beloved gesture—would convey love in a far more superior manner.

She thought wrong.

Nothing compared to the sensation of being held close—like a treasure—and Farrin’s lips against her own. His heat spread through her like magic, thawing her cool breath and cold skin. It robbed her of her thoughts and her strength. As he cradled the back of her head with a warm hand, she could feel their love fill the air like snowflakes falling from white clouds.

Farrin’s kiss was a soft promise of everything she had always dreamed of—affection, hope, and above all else, love.

He pulled back for a moment, and Rakel had to cling to his chest to keep standing. I never dreamed what falling in love would be like, but I don’t think I could have fathomed anything this incredible. She couldn’t place what was different; it was as if loving Farrin made everything…more. It seemed like there were more stars glittering in the sky, like the cool night air was extra crisp, and—most glorious of all—she could have sworn she felt the zing of his magic.

“I love you, Rakel,” Farrin whispered in her ear. His cheek brushed hers, sending shivers down her spine.

She tried to adjust to this new alignment in her world. For a while, she had known the soft love of friendship and family, but this was shockingly different. Her love for Farrin thrived like the cool core of her magic—consuming and passionate. She had fallen hard for the valiant knight who had reacted with gentle strength. Her eyes teared up, and she pressed her face into his shoulder. She wanted to cry out of pure happiness and desperate sadness, for she knew that in giving this gift of love to Farrin, when they faced Tenebris and she—in all likelihood—died, she would rip his heart into tatters.

For one moment, her heart rebelled. It’s not fair! Must I sacrifice my happiness to stop Tenebris’s destruction? More than anything, I want this moment to last forever.

Farrin slid one of his gloved hands along the back of her neck. “Why are you crying?”

Rakel shook her head and pressed it farther into his shoulder. She took a shuddering breath as Farrin held her and rocked her back and forth, and the warmth he gave her was a bittersweet comfort.

What have I done?





CHAPTER 15





THE PURITY OF LOVE


Rakel was sick to her stomach with nerves and apprehension as she stood on the battlefield and watched Tenebris’s army march towards her.

This was it. Tenebris—after concentrating his forces in the southeast corner of Verglas—had marched west, using a range of hills as cover, and planned to attempt a final push north. Verglas scouts had confirmed it two days ago. So, Steinar gave the order to march out, and General Halvor had organized the troops so they would meet on the Darren Flats—plains that were just north of the southern border they shared with the country of Sarthe.

Though it was a day that would see blood spilled and—hopefully—a tyrant overthrown, the weather was crisp and mild. The sun hung in the cloudless sky that was a brilliant shade of light blue, and the pleasant breeze had helped to dry the flats. They stood not on slush or mud, but dry grass that was still brown with winter—perked with the promise of spring.