Sacrifice (The Snow Queen #2)(69)

“Anything less than this will be a temporary fix.”

Phile rubbed her forehead. “We haven’t searched for anyone who can break the mirror. There must be someone on this continent who can do it.”

“Phile,” Rakel said, interrupting her friend. “That mirror is a thousand times more evil and vile than Tenebris. It needs to be taken care of.”

Phile exhaled and shrank in size. She tilted her head and studied Rakel. “I…This is…Is this what you want?”

Rakel nodded.

“You’ll have to kill him—and possibly his officers. There’s no way around it.”

Rakel grimaced and pushed away the worry that her sacrifice might make her even more like Tenebris than she already was. “I know it’s wrong, but—”

“No,” Phile interrupted her, her dark eyes glowing with anger. “What Tenebris and his army are doing is wrong. Killing and war are unfortunate realities because of the brokenness of mankind, but the slaughter of innocents is evil. To stop them—if it is within your power—is right.”

“I still wish I could avoid spilling blood—it is not an action I can take back or forget.” Rakel spoke slowly, trying to explain her heart.

“Allowing Tenebris and his ilk to live is far more terrible than killing them and ending their rampage.”

Rakel was silent.

“Can you really kill Tenebris?”

She tried to take a breath, but it felt like she wasn’t taking in enough air. “I believe I must.”

“You won’t hesitate?” Phile asked.

Rakel recalled the charred bones of Asker, and the screams and terror of Fyran—the village on Ensom Peak, the first place she had made her stand, and strangely, she recalled seeing Farrin after Tenebris had disciplined him. Even knowing such decimation, she did not relish taking another’s life, but she could not sacrifice her country merely because she wished Tenebris was not evil. “I’ll hesitate, but I’ll still do it.”

Phile raised her eyebrows. “Killing Tenebris isn’t something you need to feel guilty about.”

Rakel rubbed her chest with a hand, as if it could ease the pain in her heart. “I said I’ll do it.”

Phile nodded and slipped Foedus into its sheath on her belt. “Very well. Then I would be proud to fight with you to the very end.” She offered her hand to clasp, and wore a small but painfully sincere smile.

Rakel teared up and took her hand in both of hers. What have I done to deserve such a friend? “Thank you, but—”

“I’m not letting you face that monster alone, Little Wolf,” Phile said. “I’m not going to let you take on the burden of the entire country and him.”

“You’re right, but I have an even greater favor to ask,” Rakel said.

“Let’s hear it.”

“Kai and Farrin.”

Phile sucked air in between her clenched teeth.

“Kai is too young to understand why I’m leaving him when I promised I would stay,” Rakel’s heart melted at the thought of the young boy. “When he’s old enough, could you explain it?”

“And Farrin? You don’t plan to tell him?”

Rakel released Phile’s hand. “I don’t plan to tell anyone besides you. They would ban me from the battlefield if they knew.”

“The others will understand once they realize what you’ve done. It will take them time to forgive you, but they will come to accept it. But Farrin…he loves you, Rakel. And you cannot deny that you feel the same for him.”

“I know,” Rakel said. “But if I told him…”

Phile tapped her chin. “We’ll have to keep him far away from you when you decide to have a go at it. With his speed magic, he’ll put a stop to it real quick if he figures out what you’re doing.” She hesitated. “Oskar won’t take it well either.” Phile’s voice cracked with worry, but it was lined with an affection that she rarely directed at anyone besides Rakel.

…was I right after all? Is Phile smitten with Oskar? Rakel opened her mouth to ask her, but Phile shook her head.

“When it’s all over…is there anything you want me to tell everyone?” she asked, changing the subject.

It became hard to swallow, and Rakel’s eyes burned as she thought how she would never see any of her precious friends and family again. “Tell them I wanted to do this. I wanted to protect them. And tell them that I love them so much, and I am thankful for them. They made life beautiful.”

“And Farrin?”

Rakel thought for a moment. “If I gave you a letter…could you give it to him?”

Phile’s eyes teared up, and she nodded. She reached out and yanked Rakel into another hug, but while their first had been warm and gentle, this was the fierce hug of one warrior saluting another. “I’d go out with you, Rakel. I mean it.”

Rakel took a shuddering breath, fighting her own tears. “I know.”

“You are the best sort of magic user there is. And I promise, when this is over, there won’t be a person in the world who doesn’t know what you’ve done for us all in sealing up this mirror.” Phile abruptly pulled back and rubbed at her eyes. “We’ll plan everything later?”