Rules of Survival(55)



I kept my mouth closed when I saw a roll of it peeking out from the top of his bag.

“So, what’s the brilliant plan?” Shaun said as soon as he heard the car start up.

“Oh, you’ll love it,” I said, tugging at the cuffs around my ankle. “It’s epic. Ready? We sit here—and starve!”

“You’re hungry, too, huh?” Bracing both feet up against the frame, Shaun gave a good yank. And then another. Nothing happened.

“Contemplating gnawing on my arm—before Deeds saws it off.” I shivered, remembering the look in his eyes when he told me not to try escaping. I’d dealt with a lot of crazies, but none quite as wacko as Deeds. I wasn’t the roll-over-and-die type, but even the most determined person could see the situation was looking pretty bleak. “He’s gonna kill us after he finds out there’s no money, isn’t he?”

Shaun stopped yanking on the cuffs and turned toward me. “Stop. It’s not going to come to that.”

I nodded around the room. “No? Do you see a way out? ’Cause I’ve got nothing.”

“We’ve both been in plenty of tight spots before. We’re still here.”

I appreciated the pep talk, but I had to wonder if he was blind or just flat-out delusional. “Tight spots? Tighter than this?”

“Sure,” he said. “There were times at home—my first home—that I was sure I was going to die.”

I couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for him. We’d been on the run my whole life, but Mom loved me—even if by the rest of the world’s standards she had a funny way of showing it. I’d never worried where we’d end up or when the next time we’d eat would be. I certainly was never afraid of her… “Was it always bad? With your dad, I mean.”

He shrugged, and to most people, it probably would have looked casual. Now though, since we’d gotten to know each other, I saw right through it. “It got worse as I got older. I started looking more and more like her. He hated me for it.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know that now—but he couldn’t see it. He never wanted kids and made sure I knew it from the very start.” He swallowed hard, flexing his fingers. “It’s—it’s kind of messed up, but I used to feel sorry for him.”

“Sorry for him?” I balked. “Why the hell would you feel sorry for him?”

“He loved her. When she died he just cracked. Something broke inside… He made sure I knew she was dead because I was alive.” He forced a weak smile. There was so much emotion behind it that it made my chest hurt. “See, they gave her a choice. They could save her or me—she picked me.”

“He should have never told you that…” What kind of a bastard tells a child he’s responsible for his own mother’s death? A dark part of me wanted to meet Shaun’s dad. A part of me wanted to be the last thing the man saw.

“Messed up, right? So the old man blamed me, and when I was a kid, I didn’t know any better. I agreed with him. That’s a shitload of guilt…”

“So you never fought back?”

“Not really, no. I deserved it,” he said, voice nearly a whisper. “He had me believing I deserved it. But I started seeing the truth as I got older. What happened wasn’t my fault. It couldn’t be. I didn’t fight back at first, but I made it my business to avoid him. I knew the danger signs. When he came home from work and started slamming things around, I made myself scarce.”

“But it was impossible to avoid him all the time.”

“It was,” he agreed, nodding. “Like I said, as I got older, I looked more and more like my mother. I’d wake up in the middle of the night and he’d be standing over me. He’d drag me out of bed and—the point is, I know what it feels like to be helpless. But you’re never truly helpless. As long as you don’t give up, there’s always a way out. The way I see it, if I could make it out of that, I can make it out of anything.”

“You really believe that?”

He slouched back against the bed, gaze fixed on me, and nodded. “I believe that. I can’t believe that the universe is pulling my ticket yet. I only just met you. I think we have a lot of years ahead of us.” With a wink, he puffed out his chest. “And, ya know, I’m sure the universe wouldn’t do that to you. How cruel would it be to present someone as magnificent as me to you only to send me to the long dirt nap?”

“Wow,” I said, biting back a grin. “Just, wow. Well, if it comes down to it, you can just crush the bad guys with your enormous ego.”

“I dunno. His might be neck and neck with mine.” His smile faded, and he nodded toward the door. “How long you think he’ll be gone?”

“I doubt it’ll be long.” He was right. There was no such thing as truly helpless. Giving up was stupid and not my style. Mom taught me better than that. I nodded to Deeds’s bag, off to the side of the door. He’d left it behind—along with one of the cells. “I’m betting you can’t reach that, right?”

He stretched as far as he could, the toe of his sneaker coming up just short. “No dice. Maybe we can move the bed?”

I pulled with all my strength. When nothing happened, I scrunched to peek at the legs. “Bolted down.”

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