Ruined (The Eternal Balance #1)(9)
I wasn’t over Jax Flynn.
Chapter Five
Jax
My bedroom was exactly the same as I’d left it three years ago. Hard-rock posters lined the walls, and the dartboard Rick had gotten me on my fourteenth birthday still hung above the bed, the last dart I’d ever thrown, a bull’s-eye, poking out from the center.
I’d been at the window watching Sam pace the length of her old bedroom next door for the last hour. Instead of going home to her apartment, she let her aunt talk her into staying at the house for the night.
She’d always hated the silence. The television was on in the background, a repeat of the press conference the police chief had given earlier about a series of murders by someone the press dubbed the Gentleman Stalker. A handful of girls had gone missing from Harlow and the surrounding towns recently and authorities were stumped. I’d heard about it, but hadn’t really followed the story.
Sam ignored the news and stalked the floor of her old room. It was easy to see she didn’t want to be there. Every once in a while she would slide the fingers of her hand through her long brown hair, tug at the sides, then tilt her head back and sigh. Tufts of gray fear trailed behind as her heart hammered an erratic rhythm. Twice she’d reached for the phone. I’d listened as she dialed the first five digits of Rick’s number before slamming it back to the dresser and cursing softly.
Another person would be curled in a ball, rocking themselves to sleep after what just happened. Not Sam. Even though she was shaken to the core, she put up a brave front. Alone in her room and away from prying eyes, she continued the ruse like there was no other choice. Like showing even the smallest hint of weakness would send reality crumbling down around her. She was the savior and never the victim.
There was space between us—wood, plaster, and glass—but I heard every sound as clearly as if she were standing next to me. Every movement, the smell of the lake still on her skin, the subtle rub of her clothing as she moved across the room, everything was razor-edged and on the verge of driving me mad. I knew I should leave, but the only thing I wanted to do was hold her. Be there so she could let it out.
But that wasn’t going to happen. If I didn’t get out of here before my brother showed up—which was inevitable—I couldn’t be held responsible for my actions. Or the demon’s. The monster, always so predictable, had pulled a 180 by saving Sam. I was grateful, but it was more incentive to get the f*ck out of Dodge. I didn’t know what it might do next.
Thinking I could breeze into town, see Rick, and leave without complications was ridiculous. Thankfully, it was something I could rectify. Grabbing my coat from the bed, I hurried down the stairs, taking them two at a time.
“Freeze, pal.”
I stopped mid-stride, a few inches from the door. So f*cking close. I slowly turned to face my uncle. “You promised. You swore they wouldn’t be here, Rick.” A knot of anger formed deep in my chest. My control had improved with age, but that didn’t mean I wanted to wave my biggest trigger in front of the demon’s face. “Are you trying to put me on America’s Most Wanted? Cause that’s what’s going to happen. The shit I wanna do to my brother is sure to get me on the ten o’clock news.”
“I’m sorry. I should have encouraged you to stay away. The last I heard from Kelly, Samantha was supposed to be in school. I don’t know what happened. I didn’t even know she’d dropped out until Kelly called me on the way to the hospital. Apparently she’s been living on the other side of town for the last month.” Rick frowned and a pang of guilt needled me. Three years had aged him more than it should have. The lines on his face were deeper, his hair now thin and solid gray. But there were other things. Signs of decay.
Cancer. The doctors had given him a month—possibly less.
He alternated between leaning against the doorframe and using the old china cabinet to support his weight. The knickknacks inside were full of dust and still in the same spots as the night I’d left. “As far as Chase being in town, he found out you were coming home at the last minute and insisted on being here. I warned him to stay away, but you know your brother…”
Of course I did. Stubborn, cocky, and invincible—or so he believed. He’d pushed me at every corner as we were growing up. Determined to prove he wasn’t in danger. He was wrong, though. My twin had no idea how close he’d come to death the night I left town. “Every time I see him, I imagine myself covered in his blood.” I smashed a fist into the wall next to him, and Rick flinched. The last thing I wanted to do was upset the old man, but he needed to understand that I couldn’t stay any longer. I couldn’t control the demon and its sick desire to end Chase’s life. “This thing inside me hates him. All it wants is to rip him apart.”
When we were five years old, I pushed Chase down the basement stairs. That was the first time I got a taste of the demon’s hatred for him. The sound he made as his balance shifted. The distinct cracking of the bones in his left arm as he crashed down the concrete stairs. The surprisingly soft thud that filled the stairwell as his body fell still at the bottom. It was one of those defining moments in life. A span of six or seven seconds that I’d never, ever forget.
The night I kissed Sam in the woods behind the house pushed things over the edge. It’d been the tipping point. The line. Those few moments with her—happiness like I’d never imagined—had driven the demon into an enraged frenzy. That kiss was what I’d wanted more than anything, as well as the single most regretful moment of my life. It’d changed everything. It’d changed me. Changed me so drastically that I’d found myself standing over my brother’s bed in the early morning hours with a kitchen knife in hand, at war with the demon inside. I’d won—barely—and did the only thing I could think of to spare the people I loved. I’d left.