Ruined (The Eternal Balance #1)(4)
Or with whom.
Her lips twisted disapprovingly, and I found myself having to recite the alphabet backward to keep from paying too much attention to the little details. The way she tilted her head, sending soft strands of chestnut hair across her shoulder. The soothing tone of her voice. The way she moved. I’d dreamed about these minute details a million times over the last three years.
This girl was the one thing I couldn’t outrun. The only piece of my life I couldn’t seem to shake—and a part of me hated her for it.
“Someone sounds bitter,” I said, keeping both eyes on the dash. Mud. Think of mud. Zombies. Anything to keep from focusing on her. “You were hoping to deck him yourself?”
The engine sputtered and revved and the car jerked from the parking spot, indicating that little had changed when it came to her driving habits. She was hell on wheels. Not a bad driver, but she certainly liked her speed. I didn’t know what * thought it’d be a good idea to give her a license, but if I ever found the guy, there’d be a serious f*cking beat-down in order.
She stomped the gas, and the car lurched forward. “You’re the one with anger management issues, not me.”
I snorted and bit down hard on my tongue. She was right, in a way. I had anger issues—only they weren’t necessarily all mine. The demon had a nasty temper and just about zero impulse control. To keep the thing in check, I’d forced myself to feed it, committing one truly violent act every two days since I was seventeen. That, coupled with little nibbles of the darker side of human emotion here and there, had been enough.
She tightened her hands around the wheel. “Besides, I think we’re dating…”
Fury churned in my gut like a tornado, and the scene from the diner played on repeat inside my head. My brother’s greedy hands trespassing in places they didn’t belong. It’d been nearly impossible to stop from ripping my twin in half. I’d lost control for a moment, but was determined not to let it slip free again. Not while I was in town. And not around Sam. Logically, I knew I had no right to be pissed about the kiss between her and Chase. I was the one who’d walked away.
Unfortunately, logic wasn’t on my side.
“Dating?” I gave a short laugh. She was full of shit, but it still pissed me off regardless. Chase knew the rules. Sam was off-limits.
The whole thing had been a show. My brother knew I was standing there. The bastard probably saw me walk up outside. He’d kissed her to get a reaction, I was sure of it. Which was ten kinds of dangerous, considering how short my fuse could be. But that was Chase. Always living life on the edge.
Sucking in a breath, I forced a smirk to cover up the anger and said, “Are you serious? Chase is dating you? I find that impossible to believe. For starters, you have no ass.” She had a great ass. “Also, your arms are too long. Kind of apish.” They’d be perfect for wrapping around my waist. “That’s good though. You’re short. I bet it helps with the top shelf.”
She opened her mouth—then closed it, slamming down hard on the car’s brakes. The tires screamed against the pavement as I shot forward, face smashing the dash with a loud crack. I didn’t feel much—one of the only perks of living with the demon—but rubbed the spot for her benefit. The slight, satisfied tilt of her lip made the whole show worthwhile. Shit. I’d bleed myself dry if it would get her to smile like that again.
No. That was against the rules. Rules I’d put in place for a reason.
She was still the same—and that made her dangerous. Every moment I spent with her was a precarious balance of control and self-discipline that couldn’t be trusted. My only defense was to act like a dick and hope she kept her distance. It was the only thing that would keep her safe—and me sane. “Guess that’d be a resounding yes…”
“I guess so,” she snapped, and yawned again.
“So if you guys are together, was that disaster I stumbled into a date?”
“Don’t sound so shocked,” she mumbled. Another lie. If she and Chase were really dating, then I was the damn pope. “Not every guy feels the need to run to the other end of the earth to get away from me.”
Her words were like a donkey punch to the nuts. She had every right to be angry after what I’d done, and if that’s all it was, I could have taken my licks like a man. Sucked it up and moved the hell on. But it was more than that. I could hear the thinly veiled pain behind the snipe, and it killed me. I’d wrecked a lot of lives, a tornado of destruction and pain wherever I went, but none came with as much regret as Sam.
“Still haven’t gotten over that, eh? They make therapists for shit like that, you know.” God, I was a f*cking bastard. “And you shouldn’t have left your boyfriend alone. He’s probably picking up your replacement as we speak. Did you get a load of the rack on the waitress at the counter? I bet he’s already down on that.”
Sam held her breath for a second before exhaling through pursed lips. “You’re an *.”
There. That had done it. I’d hit a nerve.
Like the purebreds, my demon enabled me to see and sense negative human feelings, making it easy to find the most potent ones to feed on. Each emotion was represented by a different color and had an exclusive flavor. Its favorites—fear and anger—were sweet with an almost fruity aftertaste.
The car flooded with crimson—anger—and the cloying scent rose from her shoulders and began swirling around her head. The faint taste tickled my throat as my muscles started to ache. Physical pain was an indicator that the demon wanted to feed, and the longer it went without getting what it wanted, the more I suffered. I pushed back hard and focused on a dark spot on the dashboard. After a moment, the feeling began to pass.