Ruined (The Eternal Balance #1)(78)

When I finally pulled away, Sadie was breathing heavy and flushed. She was dazed and her wrists were deep red. There would be bruises there in a few hours. A small part of me felt bad. A bigger part was darkly pleased. She’d forced me to do something I didn’t want. Even though there’d been no enjoyment in what had happened and technically we could never be together, I felt like I’d betrayed Sam in some way.

“How do we know it worked?” I asked, putting some distance between us. The sight and smell of her made me sick. Leaning to the left, I spat the taste of her from my mouth.

Sadie didn’t seem insulted. She grinned and held out the stone while flexing her free hand. “Oh, baby, trust me. It worked.”





Chapter Thirty-Four




Sam

“This isn’t what I wanted, Samantha. Not really. I need you to believe me.”

I refused to answer. He’d been talking for the last forty minutes, professing his regret and insisting that things had “gotten out of hand.”

He knelt in front of me in the dirt. The fact that he didn’t seem affected by the cold was annoying. The sun was going down, and flurries dotted the sky. The thin flannel shirt he’d given me from his closet did little to stave off the chill, and my feet were numb. The bridge had washed away in the last big storm, so we’d had to trek through the stream to get across. My socks and shoes were soaked. “I do care about you. I always have. That’s never been a lie.”

I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I’d been giving him the silent treatment for the last few days except for the two times he demanded I speak to him. “Then why are you doing this?”

He deflated just a bit and sighed. “This is so much bigger than Jax and me. We got a raw deal. These two demons? Zenak and Azirak? You can’t fathom the level of hate they have for each other. We have no choice. If I weren’t doing this now, it would be Jax doing it later.” His voice got darker, and he stood. “Anyway, you should thank me. Once I kill Jax, Zenak and its clan will get their power back and you’ll be safe. Another outcome wouldn’t end well for you. We’re linked, remember? The other faction is hunting you down as we speak.”

Anger and betrayal roared in my head. It was raw and ugly and in that instant I’d never hated anyone or anything more than him. “You and Jax have no choice? Do you hear what you’re saying? Of course you do. You could choose to let me go. Break the link. You could choose to leave your brother alone. Jax did. He walked away. He felt so much anger toward you that he left everything he knew and loved to keep you safe.”

“God,” he yelled. “You act like he’s a f*cking saint. His leaving was weakness. He should have killed me that night he was standing over my bed. I knew he was there. Waiting. But he didn’t make a move.” He kicked a rock at his feet and came at me, gripping both shoulders tight and putting his face in mine. “You’re always defending him. Always talking about him like he’s a damn god. I’m the strong one. I’m the one who stayed for you. Me.”

“Don’t you get it?” I screamed. “I don’t want you!” Deep breath. “Part of you must know that on some level. That explains the kiss in the diner. We were linked, right? You had to command me to kiss you. There’s no other way I would have ever gone there.”

I saw it brewing in his eyes. The violent storm. “Bitch,” he spat as his hand snaked out. It caught me across the jaw, rocking my head back. I saw stars for a minute. Beads of color and ribbons of light.

How could this be the same person I’d known my whole life? The guy who taught me how to pay beer pong and aces? The guy who loved animals and volunteered at the children’s home on Wednesday nights? His anger scared me. I’d never seen him so riled, and with the demon inside, I didn’t know what he might do if he didn’t calm down. Impulse control had never been his strong suit.

“Jax could have taken you out at any point. Don’t you think taunting him home was risky?”

Chase laughed. He shook his head and kicked at another small stone by my feet. The pebble rolled away, bouncing until it hit a nearby pine tree. “You’ve known Jax almost as long as I have, Samantha. He’s always struggled with what he is. He fought Azirak’s hate for me from the first moment it crept into his mind.”

“You and this thing belong together. You’re both disgusting.”

There was a blur of movement and his hand was at my chin, fingers digging hard into skin as his eyes flashed black, then gray again. “Careful, Samantha. My demon just barely tolerates you for my sake. Don’t give it an excuse to hurt you.”

He held on for a moment before letting go. He paced from one end of the fort to the other. The movement was stiff and jerky. I recognized it from watching Jax. His demon was hungry. “Power, Samantha. Unbelievable power.”

He stopped and leaned close, warm breath puffing out across my skin. He skimmed down the side of my face with the tip of his nose, sighing. “Stay with me and we can have it together. I look just like him. I wouldn’t even be offended if you pretend.”

I leaned in close and gave him a shy smile. He returned it, bringing his lips closer. Nearly touching, I whispered, “You might be his twin, but you look nothing like him. You’re a monster—inside and out.”

He pulled away, anger slowly changing to amusement. A flash of black, and the demon emerged. He continued backing up until he came to medium-sized branch that jutted out from the large pine tree beside him. “Fine. Have it your way. I prefer lust, but I can sustain myself on your agony just as easily.” He drew his body back, then slammed forward, ramming his shoulder into the trunk of the tree.