Ruined (The Eternal Balance #1)(55)



Time to suck it up. I yanked open the door. “Yeah. I’m good. Just taking my time. Trying to process and all.”

He stepped aside to let me pass. I rounded the corner, aware that he was following right behind, and froze when I got to entrance to the living room. On Kelly’s fifty-two-inch television was the starting menu for my favorite cartoon—Lilo & Stitch. On the coffee table in front of the TV was a huge bowl of popcorn and two cups of steaming liquid—coffee. I could smell it from here. Jax was the only person I’d ever met who didn’t make fun of me for dunking popcorn into coffee. “What’s all this?”

He came around to stand in front of me. “A chance to process.”

“Shouldn’t we be, I dunno, out looking for a way to break the link?”

“Where would we look, Sammy? I talked to Heckle while you were in the shower. He’s still looking. No luck so far, though. His resources are better than mine. Our best bet is to sit tight for now.”

“Well, what about that witch? Sadie Gray? Shouldn’t we get the midnight stone from her? At least then Havat will give us a name. If we have a name, maybe we can—”

“Can what? Find the demon that fed from you? Get it to set you free out of the kindness of its heart? Kill it? Are you feeling particularly suicidal?”

Shit. That was right. Kill the demon and the link—aka me—died, too.

A lump formed in my throat and I sank onto the couch. He was right. There was nothing to do but wait it out and hope to God Heckle turned up something useful.

We’d done this so many times as kids. When Kelly worked late nights at the hospital and I was scared and alone at home, Jax would sneak over and we’d spend the night in front of the television. How many mornings had we missed the school bus? We’d spend the entire day in the woods at the fort behind Rick’s house. In reality, it wasn’t that long ago…so why did it feel like another lifetime?

Jax settled on the couch—close, but not touching—and pressed play. The opening credits rolled and the movie started, but I found it impossible to pay attention. Every few minutes I felt Jax looking at me, but when I glanced over, he’d turn away.

We sat there, silent and staring at the screen, but I knew neither one of us was paying attention. After about twenty minutes, Jax grabbed the remote from the table. Hitting pause, he sighed. “This isn’t helping.”

I sat up. “Sure it is. I feel much better.”

“You’re lying.”

“I am not.”

“You are,” he insisted. “I can tell.”

“Really? How exactly can you tell?”

“I can see your sadness.” His voice got lower. “Your confusion, too.” He leaned a little closer and inhaled. Arm outstretched, he waved his hand in a circle around my head. “Demons feed on negative human emotions, remember? We can smell them, but we can also see them.”

“So what color are mine?”

He watched at me. For a moment it almost looked as though he was holding his breath, and when he spoke, it was soft. Just barely above a whisper. “Dark blue, mostly. Sadness. There are traces of gray, too. Fear.”

“Makes sense,” I said, twisting so I was facing him, too. “Since I’m scared and all.”

“We’ll figure this out.”

“Will that be before or after your demon buddies come to kill me?” My eyes stung, and my heart thumped. No. Not now. Not when I’d done such a good job keeping my shit together for the most part. But it was no use. The tears gathering spilled over, blazing trails of warmth down my cheeks. “Or I kill you.”

“You won’t kill me,” he said. “Right now, I think you should get some sleep.”

“Sleep?” Was he insane? “Didn’t you hear what that guy—”

“Demon,” Jax corrected.

“Whatever. Didn’t you hear what it said? I’m more susceptible when I’m sleeping.”

“I thought about that,” he said, standing. I watched as he crossed the room and disappeared into Kelly’s bedroom. When he came back, there was a pair of old silver handcuffs dangling from his right hand. “And I have a solution.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh, or blush. “Where the hell did those come from?”

He strode across the room, swinging the cuffs, and winked. “Kelly doesn’t clean anything. They’ve been there for years. I can’t believe you never found them.”

Without another word, he tugged me from the couch. My pulse quickened. A moment ago I’d been exhausted. Now though, every inch of my body hummed like a flash of lightning. The idea of being cuffed and at Jax’s mercy did odd things to my stomach. A nervous flutter and a rush of heat washed over me. Stupid, since that’s not where he was going with any of this. Preventive measures. That was all this was.

Jax’s hand lingered at my shoulder for a moment, before skimming down my arm and gently guiding it behind my back. There was a metal snap, and the cold feel of the steel cuff against my skin tickled.

Or maybe not.

He stepped behind, between me and the couch, and took the other arm, restraining it as he had the first. “This is selfish,” he whispered, leaning close. The warmth from his breath and the deep, dark sound of his voice in my ear brought goose bumps to the surface.

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