Rough Rider (Hot Cowboy Nights, #2)(77)

“I can’t talk to her, Wade. It’ll get real ugly real fast if I even try.”

“I know the photo’s pretty damning, but it’s not enough to try and sentence her without even giving her a chance to explain. Don’t you think she deserves to speak her piece?”

“Yeah, like all the chances you gave me and Rachel?” Dirk scoffed.

Wade groaned. “I was an *, all right? Rachel might be alive today if only I’d listened instead of making accusations.”

Dirk set the bottle down and sharply eyed his brother. “What are you saying?”

“That I know you and she didn’t betray me. Deep down I’ve always known it. I wanted to believe it to assuage my own guilty conscience. I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

“Took you damn long enough to see it,” Dirk grunted.

“Look, I can’t change what’s happened between us in the past, but I want to help you through all this shit. Don’t make the kind of mistakes I made.”

“What’s the point?” Dirk demanded. “Whether she lied or not, I don’t see how we can ever get past this. How could I ever trust her?

“There you go again. At least hear her side of the story before you pass judgment.”

“Will you take off the f*cking lawyer hat already?” Dirk snapped.

“I’m not speaking as a lawyer, Dirk. I’m trying to be a brother, just like you were for me when I nearly drank myself into a coma. By the way, you don’t need this any more than I did.” Wade snatched the bottle from Dirk’s hands. He held it at a distance, shaking his head with a wistful look. Dirk could see the desire for a drink in his brother’s eyes and grudgingly admired Wade’s self-restraint. He’d never expected Wade would give up booze completely, especially given how long and hard he’d hit the bottle after Rachel’s accident.

“I can’t even tell you how much I’d like to join you in that bottle,” Wade said, “but I’m done with self-destruction.” He shoved it across the table and out of reach.

“I’m guessing things ain’t so peachy with Peaches?” Dirk remarked.

“Her name’s Nikki, dammit! And, yeah. I f*cked it all up royally by issuing ultimatums when I should have given her some time and space. I was a dickhead. Nikki is the best thing that’s happened to me in nearly four years, and from what I’ve heard, you could say pretty much the same about Janice.”

“Then you don’t know shit,” Dirk retorted. “There’s no f*cking comparison!”

“Then you better get your damn head straight and think real hard about what’s really on the line here. You’ve spent the past four years busting your ass…for what? I was there once too. Didn’t care about anything but proving myself to the world. I thought I was making a better future for my family but what did that really get me? I lost it all, Dirk. Wife and baby. Now you’re doing the same thing. So I gotta ask, what are you killing yourself for?”

“For the ranch, dammit! You might not give a shit about the place, but I still do.”

Wade raised a hand with a black look. “Wait just a damn minute. It’s time we got this straight between us. It isn’t that I don’t care. I just don’t see how any private ranch is gonna survive into the future, let alone thrive, when we’ve got fat-ass government bureaucrats legislating the life out of farmers and ranchers across the country.”

“Then why don’t you put your money where your big fat mouth is and do something about that?” Dirk challenged. “You’ve got the friggin’ law degree. Why not put it to work for some real good?”

Wade sat back. “As it turns out, I’ve been thinking about just that. A lot of thinking actually.”

“That so?”

“Yeah,” Wade said. “I might take a job up at the capital. I’m thinking I might try to work my way into the state legislature.”

“Then that’s all the more reason for me to keep on at the ranch,” Dirk said. “I’ve got a plan to get us back in the black. It’s on the brink of coming together. I only need more time.”

“I still have my doubts, but let’s just say it does happen as you planned. What then? You really think you’re gonna be satisfied with your thankless ranching life? The cattle ain’t gonna keep you warm at night.”

“Look, I already had it all figured out—before she walked in and wreaked havoc with my life.”

“That so?” Wade cocked a brow. “So now you’re just gonna let her walk back out again? You’re deluding yourself if you think everything is just gonna settle back the way it was before. You need her and you know it.”

“Screw that. And screw you too.”

“You saying you don’t care about her?”

“Fuck off, Wade!”

Wade smirked. “I’ll take that as an affirmative.”

“All right. If you have to stick your goddamn nose into my business. Yeah. I do care about Janice. I always have, and that already scared the ever-lovin’ shit out of me even before all this!”

“If you were wanting to take her on with a kid before this happened, what’s the real problem here? You should count it a damned blessing if the boy is really yours. Seems to me you’ve all the more reason to work this out.”