Rough Rider (Hot Cowboy Nights, #2)(53)

Dirk had lived with the guilt over it for ten years. A powerful surge of it hit him now. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you then, but I’m damn sure in no better shape now! What the f*ck do you want from me?”

Her eyes widened. He could almost hear her jaw click shut. Then suddenly she was on her feet. Dirk watched motionless and wooden-faced as she snatched up her clothes and disappeared into the bathroom. She reemerged a few minutes later, fully dressed and stomping into her boots. “I don’t want anything from you and certainly don’t need any abuse. I thought you were worth it, but maybe you’re not.”

Her tearful words ripped through him, making his chest feel tight. The constriction increased the closer she got to the door, until he almost couldn’t breathe, but he had no more words. What else could he say? It was all truth. And the truth hurt sometimes.

Nevertheless, he’d never felt so wrong as when he watched her walk out the door.





Chapter 13


A week later, Dirk walked into the Pioneer. It was a slow night. Janice had finished wiping down tables and was polishing the glasses. She’d sworn to banish all thoughts of him, but it was much easier when he wasn’t standing right in front of her—looking too damn good for her peace of mind.

He wore his town hat and boots with new jeans and a starched white twill dress shirt open at the collar. His scars weren’t obvious from this distance and he reminded Janice far too much of the “old” Dirk. But it was time to let go of the past. Maybe the man she’d built up in her mind for so long never really existed…or maybe she’d never really known him at all. She’d expected too much.

He hadn’t been there for her ten years ago when she’d needed him. Part of her had understood his reasons. He wasn’t ready to settle down. How many twenty-two-year-olds were? But the other part of her resented him for leaving. She’d gone to him last week looking for comfort, for a shoulder to lean on, and he hadn’t even offered her that shoulder. She’d beat herself up all week for making a fool of herself over him. She’d sworn when she came home to Montana that she’d move forward with her life. All she could do now was promise herself not to repeat her mistakes—and Dirk Knowlton now topped her list of biggest mistakes.

Although she tried not to acknowledge him, the bartender was in the back taking inventory with the owner. Otherwise, the place was almost empty. Not that it mattered. Dirk wasn’t about to be ignored. He sat down on the stool directly in front of her.

“Evenin,’ Red.” He tipped his hat.

She wanted to ignore him, but he just sat there watching her, seeming to pay particular attention every time she reached up over the bar to take down or replace a glass, which put her breasts right at his eye level. His blatant interest made her feel nervous and clumsy.

“Do you have to stare?” she finally snapped.

He cocked a lopsided grin. “Can’t blame a man for enjoying the landscape. You look good, Red…real good.”

“What can I get you?” she asked tersely.

“Whatever’s on tap.”

She filled a mug and plopped it down in front of him.

He closed his hand over hers before she could snatch it away. His smile disappeared. “I came to talk to you.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She jerked her hand away from his and reached over the bar for the next glass.

“Bullshit. There’s a lot that needs sayin’.”

“Like what?” she replied.

“First off, I never should have let you walk out like that.”

She shrugged. “What’s done is done. And this isn’t the time or the place to hash through it. I’m working.”

“Look, Red, I’ve been chewing on all this for days. I’m just asking you to hear me out.”

“All right.” He obviously wasn’t leaving till he had his say. She dropped her towel on the bar and settled her hands on her hips. “Go on. Speak your piece and be done.”

“I was an * the other day.”

“You got that right. What else you got?”

“I wanna make it up to you.”

She frowned. “How?”

“I think we can help each other.”

She held his gaze, her curiosity piqued despite her resolution to have nothing more to do with him. “What do you mean by that?”

“I’m planning to expand my operation as soon as I can get a few details ironed out.”

“Expand? How can you do that when your brother’s trying to sell out?”

His expression darkened. “I’ll deal with Wade when the time comes. But it’s not come yet. I’m not ready to give up. I think I’m onto something that’ll turn us around. I just need more time…and some help.”

“You want my help,” she scoffed. “What makes you think I’m interested? You’re the one who said men and women can’t be friends, remember?”

“I’m sorry how I reacted the other day. And I was afraid you might not be amenable after what happened, but I’m talking strictly business now, Red. You said you came home looking for ranch work, and I need a competent hand.”

He was offering her a job? Janice stared at him in incredulous silence and then answered with a snort. “Let me get this straight. You want me to work for you?”