Rise - Part Two (Rise #2)(21)

"I still want that." I hear a shuffle carry over the phone line. "I mean, I wish you'd give me another chance but I know you're never going to."

Even though they're words that I've longed to hear, they still carry with them a sense of sadness that is palpable. I loved him for a period of time in my life when I was innocent and relationships seemed uncomplicated. I doubt that it's ever easy to let go of a first love but sometimes we have to in order to truly love with a sense of depth.

"I loved our baby too." His voice cracks briefly before he pulls in a deep breath. "I would have taken such good care of both of you."

He would have hidden the two of us away in a part of the world where his fans wouldn’t catch wind of the fact that he was a father. The first words out of his mouth when I joyfully told him I was pregnant were that it would cramp his style. He apologized profusely over and over again as I cried into his shoulder but the damage had been done. I'd never forgotten the brutal pain that came with the words and with the knowledge that his career was more important than a life with me and our child.

"Talking about what might have been isn't a good idea. We've both moved on."

"I haven't," he blurts out. "I mean I will, but I've never met another girl like you."

I could absorb those words as a compliment but there's not truth in that assumption. He means he's never met another girl who put up with his reckless need to be everyone else's hero. He wanted the world to love him and the sacrifice for that was my love.

"You're going to meet someone one day, Ansel and she'll make you forget about me."

He laughs deeply. I can picture the smile in his eyes even though I can't see it. "I doubt like hell that I'll meet anyone like that. Does he make you forget about me, Tess?"

There's no need to hide behind a lie. I don't owe Ansel anything, not even the truth but I want to give it to him because I want this to end with absolutely no regrets or wished words on my part. "It's not like that with him. Landon helps me see that every moment matters. He doesn’t make me forget you. He helps me remember that I'm important."

***

"I'll be back on Wednesday," Landon says brusquely as he buttons up the jacket of his pilot's uniform. "I thought we could have dinner with my brother."

I tear my gaze away from his body to look up at his face. "You want me to meet Dane?"

"I want you to meet his fiancé, Bridget, too, but she has plans with some of her friends." He effortlessly ties a dark blue tie around his neck. "Dane asked me to meet him for a beer and I told him I wanted him to meet my girlfriend."

"I'm your girlfriend."

His brows pop up. "You are. I mean, we haven't established that, but it's obvious, no?"

It's been obvious to me for a long time. What we share already transcends my relationship with Ansel so it seems trivial to call Landon 'my boyfriend' but it's much better than 'my lover.'

"Do you want me to ask you to go steady, Tess?" He furrows his brow. "I'll do it for you."

"No." I pop my hand into the air to stop him. "I'm your girlfriend and you are my boyfriend."

He nods before his gaze drops to the top of the bed. "I'll text you as soon as I land in Athens."

"Is it nice there?"

"You've never been to Athens?" He arches his neck to look back to where I'm still laying beneath the covers of his bed. "I'll take you there one day."

It's a promise of a future adventure that I desperately need. I'd come to his apartment today after spending much of the afternoon with Clive. We'd gone over the fine details of the Corteck gala and even though I could tell he was impressed with my ideas, he wanted something that would set the bar high. I'd tossed out a few concepts off the top of my head and he'd stopped me mid-sentence to tell me how much he valued my work.

I had to excuse myself and take leave to go to the ladies' room. It wasn't because I felt overly emotional. I just wanted a minute to myself to bask in the glow of his adoration. He's not an easy person to please and knowing that I impressed him, recharged me.

Since things have settled into a routine with Landon and me, I've been able to more fully focus on my work. Gabriel is sending me to Los Angeles next week and Landon will be there with me. It's our first trip together and I know already it won't be our last.

"I can water your plants while you're away." I glance around the bedroom realizing that I don't see one potted plant.

"I have someone who does that for me." He stands after putting on his shoes. "She comes in a couple of times a week when I'm away but I can leave you a key if you just want to hang out here."

"Are you ready to go?" I ask as I fling my legs over the side of the bed. I consciously keep my eyes to the floor wanting to mask all of the emotion I feel from his simple offer of a key to his place. "I can get dressed."

His breath stalls as his eyes rake over my nude body. "I can't wait to get back to New York, Tess. I can't wait to see you again."

I stand, walk over to where he is, and just as I wrap my hands around his neck, I whisper into his ear. "I'll be counting the minutes, Captain. I'll be counting every minute."