Retribution (Secrets & Lies #3)(35)

Carson nods, and I look around at my family. Melissa was right, they are my family, even if I feel unworthy of them still. “Just remember to check the water pipes if you guys get heavy snow, and I'll see you in three or four days at most.”

I turn to get in the truck when suddenly Melissa steps forward, shrugging off Andrea's supportive arm and reaching for me. “Nathan... wait.”

I stop, half out of the truck when she takes my hand and pulls me to her, her left hand going around my neck and pulling me down for a kiss. It's sweet and tender, and I kiss her back, knowing it might be my last chance. I can't think that way though, and instead I pull her close, letting her know just how much I love her. “You stay safe,” she whispers after our lips part, her gray eyes looking into mine. “Come back to me, please. I've finally found someone, I can't imagine losing you.”

“You won't, I promise,” I tell her quietly. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”

I kiss her again, and hold her tight for a moment before letting go and giving her hands a squeeze. “When I come back, let’s talk.”





Chapter Thirteen





Melissa





I can't go to sleep. It's after midnight, but despite the exhaustion nibbling at my eyelids, I can't close my eyes. I know what will happen if I do, I'm going to have a nightmare. I'm a nervous wreck.

If I was like the rest of the family, I'd exercise. I know it helps Jackson and Katrina handle their stress, but I'm not into it like they are. Walks through the woods and helping out around the house is more than enough for me.

I don't know what to do, until I think about what does help me feel better. Spending time with Nathan isn't an option, he's still on the road to New Orleans. Knowing him, he's probably got the shotgun already, along with the ammunition and a bag of meal replacement bars or something from the same sporting goods store next to him, munching away while he drives.

The image of his face, lit up by the dim green lights of the gauges on the truck and his own eyes burning out into the night swirl around in my head until I know what I want to do. I get up, startling Katrina who's lying on the sofa, monitoring her laptop and napping. She sits up, her hand moving to the table and I realize she has her pistol there, before she realizes it's me and she relaxes some. “You okay?”

“I'm going out to the chapel,” I tell her. “Are you?”

She nods and lays back down. “I'm just napping now, I've got the speakers on high so if he calls I'll be up in an instant. Don't worry, I've got his back.”

“Thanks,” I reply, leaving as Katrina already slips back to sleep. It's a skill she's mastered. She can go to sleep and snap awake in an instant, something I know BA appreciates when she's needed milk in the night.

The air in the chapel is below freezing, but as I look at the big block of granite in the front, I feel warmth fill me. The sledgehammer is still sitting in the corner, and I pick it up, looking over the granite. I can see it, I can see what I want to make, to create. I raise the sledge over my head and bring it down, crashing into the block. A few chips fly off the top, but it's still staying solid so far.

Fine. I pick up the chisel and the hand sledge, and start tapping out the line I want to create that will give me the piece I want. Starting with a scratch, I deepen the split slowly, working with the stone to open it up. I'm so engrossed in my work that when the door to the chapel opens, I don't even raise my head until the cold breeze hits my now sweaty skin. I look up, seeing Carson standing there, his hands shoved into the pocket of his hooded sweatshirt. “What are you doing?”

“Working,” I reply, turning back to the block and going back to tapping. “What are you doing?”

“Wondering why I'm being woken up by the sound of you smacking the hell out of a rock at one in the morning,” Carson says, grumpy. “Andrea's chilling out with Katrina on the sofa, thank God BA sleeps like her father. Those two would sleep through World War III if it started at night.”

“Sorry. Like you said though, the urge hit me. I have to get it out of my brain before I can get any sleep. Without Nathan here, I've got to do something.”

Carson huffs, and taps his foot. “Seriously, 'Lissa?”

“Seriously,” I reply, feeling a little bit upset. “You've been acting pissy all evening since Nathan left. What's got your butt?”

“What's got my butt?” he asks,slightly surprised at my rough language, then sighs. “Fine, I'll tell you. Are you sure this is the time to try and advance your relationship with Nathan? The man's driving to get shot at.”

“I know that!” I screech, throwing my chisel to the ground and brandishing my hammer at him. “You don't think I f*cking know that?”

Carson stares at me, shocked as I continue my tirade. I've almost never cursed before in my life, and never, ever at him. “I love you, but I love him, too! But I'm useless here! I can't fight, I can barely cook, I can't even chop the f*cking wood! So excuse me Carson if I interrupt your sleep. Maybe Andrea can lull you back to a restful slumber.”

Carson steps forward, anger flashing in his silver-gray eyes, but I'm too pissed to back down. “You know, I've put up with a lot of shit from you, 'Lissa. And I've never, ever complained before. But this? For f*ck's sake, when it was just a crush, when I saw that you two were circling each other, I encouraged it, but that was before we had a f*cking assassin coming after us! That was before we spent the past five weeks living on a shower schedule, with daily internet limits because of power needs and the highlight of the f*cking week being a trip to the suburbs of Asheville! That was before I spent the past five weeks scared out of my f*cking mind that I'm not going to be able to see our baby born because some psycho chick's going to kill us! You think you're the only one with nightmares? Huh? Do you?”