Retribution (Secrets & Lies #3)(13)
“Long ago, after I got out of the Army, I did some... mercenary work,” Nathan admits, his eyes haunted. “Some of it was very well-paying, and I used the money to purchase a property in North Carolina. It’s in the Blue Ridge Mountains, near Asheville. It is a big property, but the best part of it is that it is isolated. The nearest place is forty-five minutes away, and I know we can secure the place well.”
“Leaving the farm...” I say softly, fear gripping me in its icy talons and squeezing my chest. Carson and Andrea were just talking about it, and now to have Nathan talking about it again means it's a very real possibility. But the farm is my one safe place in the world... “Nathan, leaving the farm though? I don't know.”
Nathan takes my hands. “Please, 'Lissa. I know it’s scary, and that right now you are starting to freak out. I have been watching you so much over the past four months I can tell when you are on edge, and I know you are trying your best. But all this hinges on you.”
“Why on me?” I ask, and Nathan holds my hands a little more tightly, reassuring me with the look in his eyes.
“I need to protect this family. I need to. But to do that, I need to know I can focus, and to do that, I need to know that you are safe. I can't be sure of that here,” Nathan says, struggling with his words. He doesn't say a lot usually, and usually what he does say has the sort of serene simplicity of a Japanese poem, at least with me. But now he's trying to say something, and he breaks eye contact with me. “I care about everyone in the family, but you... you are special to me. I need to know that you are safe, and at my place in North Carolina, I feel like I have that space to be able to do that. From there we have a chance. Here... I don't think we do.”
“I... I'm special to you?” I ask, making sure I heard correctly. “But how can I be special?”
“You are,” Nathan says, looking up again, his eyes full of emotion. “Melissa, you are the first person I can say that I... I care for in a very long time. And I swear to you, I will protect you with every drop of blood and every breath in my body. I will keep you safe, and if I have to, I’ll help fight your fears. Please, 'Lissa. Before I talk with the rest of the family, I need to know... are you with me on this?”
There's such a burning intensity in his eyes, a need for my acceptance and something more, something that stirs embers in my belly. I nod, and try to smile. “Okay, Nathan. For you, I can be brave. I don't know if I can keep it up the whole time, but I'll do my best for you.”
“That's my girl,” he says, his words sending another little thrill through me and building the ball of warmth in my belly again, even if he didn't mean it the way I want him to. “Let's go tell the rest of your family.”
“Our family,” I correct him, stopping him in his tracks.
“What?”
“Our family,” I repeat, taking his hand. “I may be an emotional wreck, and maybe I'm limited in ways I'm just starting to understand, but you're blind, Nathan. You're just as much a part of this family as any other person. Katrina sees you as a father figure, definitely more than her actual father. Andrea sees you the same way, or maybe as a mentor, and Jackson for sure thinks of you as a mentor. And I... you're special to me too, Nathan. You're a vital part of this family.”
He nods and takes a deep breath, giving me a genuine smile that lights up his handsome but flawed face. It's that face I see so rarely, but is burned into my memory, and is engraved on Ascension. “Okay then. Our family. Let's go talk to our family.”
Our family talk is actually delayed by two hours while the movers come to pick up Ascension and get it ready. The statue first has to be put up on a pallet, where they use a miniature forklift to move it out of the barn. Using a light crane, they bring it onto the flatbed truck that already has supporting padding ready for it. Thankfully, we've used this group before for all my major sculptures, and they get it on without any major problems.
After the flatbed pulls away, I watch for a while before I go inside. I've been pressing the spot on my hand over and over, and it helps to calm me down, but even more helpful is remembering what Nathan said to me.
I'm special to him. He cares for me. I know it isn't the three words I want to hear, that I've dreamed of sometimes, but that's okay. It's a start, and it helps. I see everyone gathered in the living room, sitting down and waiting for me. Seeing me, Nathan gives me a bit of a smile and stands up, offering me his seat on the couch. “'Lissa?”
“Thank you,” I accept, smiling a little as I watch Nathan move to the front of the room. “Well, Nathan, go ahead.”
“I talked with some of my connections in the mercenary world,” he says, laying it out again. Everyone waits and lets him have his say, including about his idea about everyone relocating to his property in the mountains. “I told Melissa about this, and she's on board. 'Lissa?”
I nod, looking around. “I know all of you worry about me. But I'm going to be brave, and that means going with you all. So if Nathan says he wants us to go, then we go.”
“Just a moment, 'Lissa,” Katrina says, speaking up. “Not that I'm against it Nathan, just that I have a few questions. You said property. What type of property are we talking about, anyway?”