Rescue Me(40)
He hadn't wanted spend this much time with a woman since Jessie. And if he was honest about it, even his ex-wife hadn't captivated him half as much as Meredith did. Everything about her drew him in and held him fast.
Dammit, how had he let this happen? He had set himself up to be hurt again and he knew it was coming. He'd guarded against this kind of pain for years. After Jessie had run off with one of his friends, he'd been devastated. He had vowed to never let himself get close to another woman again. If he kept his distance, he kept himself safe. He never lacked for women to help pass the time and fill a temporary need.
But no one had ever created a need in him like what he felt for Meredith. He needed her like he needed air and water.
Which was exactly why he couldn't see her again until he'd figured out what to do about it.
Two days. That was all they had left. The rational part of his brain, the part that had kept him safely guarded for years, told him that it was just sex and they were adults that had agreed to something with a finite expiration date. He would be fine and they would enjoy the rest of their time together, then he'd walk away. Like he always did.
But another part of him, a part he'd buried ruthlessly, knew he wasn't hardwired that way. He'd always wanted a home and a family. Thought he'd had it with Jessie. When she'd betrayed him, he'd convinced himself it just wasn't in the cards for him. And now he'd gone and let himself care for a woman who was going to leave him as well.
That wasn't fair, and he knew it. They'd both known what they were agreeing to. And he certainly hadn't expected it to turn into something like this. How the hell had he let himself fall for her?
But he knew that there was no stopping it. He'd known it from that first night when he should have just walked out of the very bar he was sitting in. She was different. There was something about her.
He slammed his beer down on the bar in frustration, causing a few people nearby to look his way. He ignored them and gestured for the bartender to bring him another. It was stupid to be drowning his sorrows alone in a bar, but he wasn't sure he could face Meredith that night, even though he'd told her he would. He didn't need a reminder of everything that was just beyond his grasp.
***
Meredith woke up to the sun streaming in through her windows. She had fallen asleep in her clothes and had slept fitfully. Cole had never shown up and she hadn't gone looking for him, as much as she may have wanted to.
She wondered what had happened. This had been the first time in a week that she'd spent the night alone. Everything had seemed fine when he'd left the dance studio the afternoon before, except for that strange look that occasionally came over him, but something must have changed.
It was for the best, she told herself. She was leaving the next day and things were drawing to an end. But that didn't stop her from feeling a tug in her heart, like she was losing out on something significant, something that would leave an aching void inside her. But what was she supposed to do about it? She knew this was temporary. She'd been the one to suggest it. There was nothing she could do to change the fact that they led two completely different lives in two opposite parts of the country.
And even if she did want something more to happen between the two of them, he obviously didn't. He was just making the break come a little easier by distancing himself sooner.
For a moment, she let herself imagine what life would be like if they were both free to explore what was between them. If she didn't have a career taking off for her back in New York.
Which reminded her that she hadn't responded to the email from work. She was putting it off, knowing that it would be one more nail in her coffin.
Coffin?
Did she really consider her career to be akin to death? She had definitely gotten a taste of how life could be different while she was at the resort. It was free and liberating, and she got to be true to herself.
But that wasn't real life. Real life wasn't fun and carefree, full of lazy days in the sun and sexy nights on the beach. At least not her life. She had worked too hard to get where she was, and she knew that she couldn't disappoint Brandon. He'd never understand. Giving up everything she'd worked so hard to achieve seemed almost as painful as it had been to give up her dreams the first time.
Stopping herself from falling into an even bigger funk, she climbed from the bed and got her laptop. She logged into her email account and stared at the screen for what felt like an eternity.
Time to grow up. You can't hang on to these fanciful dreams.
Typing out a quick response, she read it over several times and clicked send.
She'd accepted the position.
It felt like a death sentence.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Meredith climbed aboard the boat, her heart heavy. This was it. Their last lesson together. Their last time in a magical fantasy world far removed from reality. She wanted to make it count.
Cole greeted her with a warm smile and took her in his arms, kissing her like he was starved.
"Oh," she gasped when he finally released her. She looked around at the marina, relieved to find there was no one nearby that would notice their display. "Good morning to you too."
He pulled back slightly but didn't let go, staring into her face with more intensity than she'd seen before. "I'm sorry about last night," he said, cupping her cheek with his hand and stroking her jaw with his thumb. "I got distracted and was dealing with some things."