Renegade (The Elysium Chronicles #1)(87)

“Yes, of course,” I say out loud. “I remember now.” The pain disappears as I listen to the voice.

“Evie? We have to go,” Gavin says, turning to face me.

I slowly raise my plasma pistol and aim it at his heart. “No. We don’t need to go anywhere,” I say. “The only thing that needs to be done is my duty.”

His eyes widen and I see myself in them. I see the hate I feel for him as I tighten my finger on the trigger.





CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT



Now I lay me down to sleep, Elysium, my heart to keep. If I should stray from Mother’s eyes, I pray my mind erase its lies.





—CHILDREN’S BEDTIME PRAYER





The gun clicks and I realize the plasma cartridge is empty again. I quickly pull it out and slam in another.

“Evie,” Gavin says, his voice calm. His eyes and face are blank. “Don’t do this.”

“Why not?” I spit out. “You caused all this. Just like your people ruined the Surface. You’re the ones who forced us down here, now you’re trying to destroy us again. You’ve brought your hate and misery with you and it’s contagious.”

His eyes narrow and he takes a step toward me. I lift the gun higher.

“No, Evie, I didn’t come here to destroy you. The only one doing this is your mother. Remember? She Conditioned you. She’s controlled you your whole life. Not me.”

I pause. Something rings true about that. But my head keeps telling me it’s a lie. “You’re just saying that so I’ll help you. Surface Dwellers are manipulative and dangerous.”

He takes an imploring step forward. I pull the hammer back on the pistol. “Don’t. Move.”

He stops immediately, but his hands are still out. “You know I’m not just saying it. You saw it with your own eyes. Remember, Evie. Remember what happened to Macie.”

I frown at him. “Who’s Macie?”

His eyebrows wing up. “She’s your best friend, remember?”

I shake my head rapidly as contradictory memories collide in my head. “No. I don’t have any friends. I’m an Enforcer. All I need are my sisters.” But a tear trickles down my cheek as a memory forces its way to the surface. She took me into her quarters one night after my failure. She wasn’t supposed to, but I needed a friend more than anything.

Another memory, of us going to Festival together last year. Her telling me all about the fun things she’d done with Nick and how she thought she was falling in love and it was all thanks to me.

Of her lying on the floor, surrounded by her own blood, with her boyfriend meters away, eyes glassed over with death.

“No,” I whisper.

It’s a lie, Evie. All a lie. He’s tricking you. Surface Dwellers are manipulative and dangerous. He deserves to die for what he did to your city. Your people. Macie, Mother’s voice screams in my head.

Macie’s the lie. She didn’t exist. She wasn’t real, I think.

No, she’s real, but he killed her. Not you. Not Nick. It was him the whole time. He’s just made you think it was you.

He did?

Yes. He’s just a Surface Dweller; he deserves to die.

“Yes,” I repeat after the voice in my head. “You’re just a Surface Dweller and you deserve to die.”

I put pressure on the trigger, pulling it toward me with my fingertip, just as I was taught.

Do it now, Evelyn! Now, before he tricks you again. Before he can get it away from you. Surface Dwellers are manipulative and dangerous. Do it now!

I pull the trigger, but my hand jerks down at the last second, as if someone is pushing down on my arms, sending the plasma ball into the floor. It melts a small divot into the floor by my foot, startling me.

I curse and line up my next shot, but before I can wrap my finger around the trigger again, Gavin is wrapping his hands around mine, and the gun. “Don’t listen to her, Evie. She’s lying. Not me. Not you.”

I fight to pull away from him, but it’s no use. Even my own body is fighting me, and I feel so weak. Something wet trickles down my arm. The wound on my shoulder is bleeding again. A lot this time.

Dizzy, I sway. Gavin tries to catch me, but I push away. “Don’t touch me,” I slur.

His eyes are worried, but apparently he doesn’t think I’m a threat anymore. “I can’t help it, Evie.”

I struggle to remain standing. I’ll kill him before I go down. Again, I raise the gun, aiming for his head. I won’t miss this time. I won’t fail again.

He closes his eyes and steps forward, pressing the gun to his own head.

“What are you doing?” I ask. Panic is tearing through me and I don’t know why. I should be grateful he’s doing my job for me.

“Making it easier for you. With that arm, you wouldn’t be able to hit the broad side of a barn.”

“Are you crazy?”

He nods and there’s a small ghost of a smile. “Yeah. I think maybe I am. I’ve fallen in love with a girl who’s programmed to kill me. Not a very sane thing to do, is it?”

My jaw drops. “What? What did you say?”

He looks straight into my eyes. “I love you, Evie.”

He’s lying. He doesn’t love me. Surface Dwellers are manipulative. He’s just using me, I think, as Mother’s voice continues her rant inside my head.