Released (Caged #3)(5)

“Let’s go.”

He did, in fact, drive a Lexus, and I warned him about parking it in my neighborhood, but he didn’t seem to give a shit. There were a couple of teens in the parking lot behind the apartment, and he told them he’d give them each fifty bucks if his car was untouched when he came back out. The two kids shrugged, agreed, and sat down on the curb near where he had parked.

As soon as we walked into the place, Baynor glanced around, saw the shit on the table, and immediately went for it. He grabbed the magazine with the mostly crushed rock in the middle of it, picked it up carefully, and moved over to the sink. He was way too quick for me to make any comment before he washed it down, soaking the paper in the process, which I guessed was the idea.

He picked up the needle and examined it.

“Was this new at least?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “It was wrapped.”

“So you aren’t completely stupid,” he said, “just mostly stupid.”

He shoved the capped needle and tubing into a paper bag, which he rolled up and shoved into his pocket. His other hand reached into the other pocket where he pulled out his wallet and dropped a couple hundred on the table.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I’m buying your drugs,” he told me. “I’m guessing at the street price of that much, as well as how much you used already.”

He was actually pretty accurate.

“Do I need to admit you to the hospital?” he asked.

“I’m not really jonesin’,” I told him. Another easy lie. “I just…I don’t want to think.”

I leaned heavily against the wall between the kitchen and the living room. I tried not to think of how much I liked holding Tria against it, but memories of our first kiss came back to me. The night of my cousin’s wedding followed right after.

“What do you want now, Liam?” Dr. Baynor asked.

“Tria,” I said without hesitation.

“What are you willing to do to get her?” he asked.

“I can’t…I can’t think about this shit,” I told him.

“What shit?” he asked.

“Any of it.”

“Having a child?”

“Fuck,” I muttered. “I definitely can’t think about that.”

“Which is why she left,” he pointed out.

I just shrugged. My chest was tightening up, and breathing was becoming more difficult.

“Have you talked to her since then?”

“I don’t know where she is,” I admitted. “She took all her stuff, but I don’t know where she went.”

“Friend’s house?”

“She knows some kids from her classes,” I said. “There’s a girl named Elissa who did some projects with Tria, but I think she lives in the dorm on campus. I don’t even know her last name, but I could probably find that chick, I guess.”

“Then what?” he asked me.

“Um…” I furrowed my brow when I looked at him. “Tell her I f*cked up?”

Dr. Baynor leaned forward and dropped his arms over the back of the kitchen chair.

“Yeah? And then what?”

I just stared at him.

“That’s what I thought,” he said. He sighed and stood up straight again. “Liam, let me ask you something. Pretend for a second you’re Tria. You just found out you were going to have an unexpected baby. The father completely freaks out on you and doesn’t even tell you why, then abandons you. Tell me now—in her shoes—would you take you back because you admitted to f*cking up?”

I made my way to the couch, rested my elbow on the armrest, dropped my head into my palm, and found myself nervously chewing on the pad of my thumb. I felt like I was choking or that my lungs weren’t working right.

Ultimately, I wasn’t sure what to say.

“Liam,” Dr. Baynor said with a softened voice, “let me ask you something else, okay?”

He waited until I cleared my throat and nodded before continuing.

“Do you love her?”

I gripped my hands into fists and leaned forward over my knees. I couldn’t sit still, and it felt like his eyes were crawling around on my skin. I wanted to come up with an answer, but I didn’t know what to say.

“I…I want her back,” I finally told him, “but I know I don’t deserve it.”

“Because of what you did when she told you she was pregnant?”

“That’s one reason,” I confirmed. “But f*ck, doc—I don’t have anything to offer her. We live in the slums in a crappy apartment. I fight at a bar for cash, and for the most part, I’m an *.”

“You didn’t always live like this.” He glanced around the room as he moved over to sit next to me.

“I’m not talking about that shit,” I said. “I have nothing to do with my family.”

“I noticed,” he replied with a nod. “That is the one reason why I might agree with you.”

“Agree with me?”

“That you don’t deserve her,” he said. “You could, but at the moment, you won’t deal with yourself. I saw enough of Tria to know she deserves someone who is willing to take on his own demons. You left a life of luxury to live in one of the worst areas of town. You’ve turned to some pretty serious drugs instead of coping with what happened to you. Does she even know why you chose this life?”