Released (Caged #3)(2)

The next thing I knew, I was on my back, and the guy was straddling my chest. I registered my head being thrown from side to side with punches, but I couldn’t focus enough to get him off me. I jabbed at his sides, but it was ineffective.

With my head spinning, I slammed my hand against the ground three times.

“Woo hoo!” The challenger jumped off of me and started running around the small cage.

I could hear cheers, boos, and people screaming at me, but I couldn’t comprehend the words. I rolled over and pushed myself up before stumbling out of the cage.

“Jesus, Liam!” Back in the locker room, Yolanda fussed around the cut over my eye and my bloody lip as I tried to push her hands away and get my jeans back on. “What the hell is wrong with you tonight?”

“Just forget it!” I yelled. “I need to get going.”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that? You got nothing waiting for you at home.”

I pulled my shoulders close together and bit down on the pad of my thumb. I didn’t remember telling Yolanda about Tria leaving, but apparently I had. I was afraid to open my mouth now. I tensed every muscle to keep myself from trembling. If Yolanda noticed, she’d figure out why.

If she figured it out, she’d stop me.

Is that such a bad thing?

Yes, most definitely.

I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t have Yolanda knowing what I was doing and dragging me somewhere to clean up. She would take back the cash she’d just given me, and I’d be royally f*cked. I couldn’t let that happen.

“I gotta go,” I said again. I shouldered past her and out the door, ignoring her calls after me. I didn’t stop at the bar or acknowledge the fans around me as I left.

I took the cash I’d earned to Max and traded it for all the heroin I could get. I returned to my apartment and banged up.

Bliss.

Everything was perfect.

*****

I reached out and touched the edge of the pillow. It was insanely soft and warm. I stroked it, and images of Tria’s breasts crawled through my head, making me smile. I stroked my cock as I thought about her, but I couldn’t come.

I could hear a voice in the other room, but it didn’t concern me, so I didn’t move. Through heavy eyelids, I watched the piles of dirty laundry all over the floor. I found shapes of animals in the patterns, just like cloud pictures.

“The beans are gone.”

I rolled my head to the side and looked up at Krazy Katie’s face. I smiled and tried to say something, but my tongue wasn’t cooperating. I focused on her eyes as they stared down at me quizzically.

“Trains need an engineer,” Krazy Katie said.

“It’s okay,” I said. My tongue still felt weird, all numb and heavy. I twisted it around in my mouth, and it tickled my teeth. I blinked a couple of times before looking back at my neighbor. “I got the helm. I’m all good.”

Did trains have a helm, or was that just boats? I laughed.

Krazy Katie covered her eyes with one hand. I could see her chest rising and falling as she took long breaths. I started counting slowly in my head but quickly forgot the number.

“Left the station,” she said quietly. “No engineer. Kicked in the caboose. Nothing but tracks.”

She turned in slow motion, and I watched vapor trails of her dull blue T-shirt swirl around the room as she left. I heard the window slide shut and then silence.

“I’m all good,” I whispered.

There was no reply.

Even though my arms and legs were way too content to be bothered with moving, I shoved myself out of bed anyway. My rig was sitting on the kitchen table, all ready to go. I was still pretty high, but I could feel darkness closing in around me, and I didn’t want it.

I wanted warmth and happiness.

Plastic tube, arm slap, needle prick.

“Like a f*cking pro.”

I lay my head on the table as the fluid sensations rippled through me. Tria didn’t matter. She’d forgive me in time. In fact, she was probably already over it. How could she not be?

“I’m good. Really, I am.”

I was never one to lie to myself, but it was getting easier all the time.





Chapter 2—Seek the Help


My throat was dry, and I knew I should probably get myself a drink or something, but getting up to go to the cabinet with the cups and the sink with the water seemed like a shitload of effort. My legs were killing me, and my stomach hurt. I couldn’t manage to lie down comfortably any more—I was too damn hot—but sitting and standing didn’t feel good, either.

I had forgotten how shitty I would feel after coming down from a bang.

“There’s a damn good way of fixing that shit,” I muttered. “Get it? Fixing? Ha!”

Everything was still lying out on the table from the day before. I hauled myself onto the chair and grabbed the rig cap and the cup of water I had used to mix the heroin to prepare it for the needle. I’d gone through all the needles I bought from Max. I should probably go find the weird religious dude who always hung out by the food bank offering clean needles, but that was too f*cking far away.

Maybe later.

The needle I had was only used by me, anyway. I did haul my ass over to the sink to wash it out a bit better, at least. I even made myself take a sip of water though it tasted nasty.