Rake's Redemption (Wind Dragons MC #4)(42)

“You don’t know everything though, Tracker,” Tia inserts, standing up for me. “I know you have your brother’s back, but I have Bailey’s. She’d never intentionally hurt someone. And I know for a fact that Rake is the love of her life. I just think there’s so much we don’t know, which is why I’m staying out of it and letting her sort it out with him.” She looks to me. “But at the same time I’m here if you want to talk about it, whenever you need me.”

“I know, Tia.” I can feel my smile hit my eyes. “And I’m so thankful to have you in my life.”

“Awww, come here, you cutie,” she says, wrapping me in a hug. When she pulls away her eyes are shining with moisture. “If Rake gets you, he’s the luckiest man in the world. And don’t worry about him being a man-whore, that just means you’re going to benefit from his experience when you pin him down.”

Tracker guffaws at that.

“I don’t know what’s going on,” I admit. “There’s so much history, some of it good, some of it . . . really bad.” I glance up at Tracker. “I wouldn’t hurt him, Tracker, but some of the stuff he had to hear did. But I can’t protect him from the truth anymore.”

He nods twice. “I like you, Bailey. And I know Lana loves you.”

“I like you too, Tracker,” I reply. “I’m glad Rake chose you to come here. Thank you for making me feel better.”

“I’ve been told I’m like medicine.” He grins, lightening the mood. “If someone’s sad, just send me in. Instantly cured. My sheer presence makes them happy as f*ck.”

This time it’s me who throws a pillow at him.





EIGHTEEN




A FEW more days pass before Rake walks through my front door again. Thinking it would be Tracker, I open the door without pause, smiling and saying “Good morning.”

“Hey,” I say when I see him, quieter and more subdued than my welcome. “How are you?”

He walks inside and looks around, then turns to face me. “Check who it is before you open the door, Bailey.”

I nod as he sits down on the couch, then lifts his hand to me. Hesitantly placing my smaller hand in his, he pulls me down to him. When I’m settled sideways on his lap, he buries his face in my neck and holds me, a desperate, almost hopeless air about him.

“Where were you?” I ask him, stroking my fingers through his soft, short hair.

“I needed to clear my head,” he rasps, the stubble from his cheeks rough against my neck. “Come to terms with everything.” He takes a deep breath and exhales before continuing. “I’m so f*ckin’ sorry, Bailey, for what happened that night, and for everything afterward.” His voice cracks on the last two words.

“Fuck, Bailey. I don’t know what to do, or what to say. There’s nothing that could make this right. How can you even f*ckin’ look at me? How am I supposed to look into your daughter’s face now and know what I did to you, her mother?”

“It’s not you who did it to me,” I say gently. I wanted him to know, but I didn’t want to see him like this. This isn’t what I wanted. I just wanted him to know the truth so he wouldn’t hate me anymore, not for him to become as broken as me. I wanted to set the pain free for both of us, not to lay it all on his shoulders.

“You didn’t know, Adam. You didn’t f*cking know. It was a messed-up situation, but it’s over now. We need to stop looking back, unless it’s to remember the good times.”

He mutters a curse word and lifts his head. The pain in his green gaze makes my chest hurt and my heart feel like it’s been constricted. In my entire life, I’ve never seen him like this before. I don’t know what to do, but I’m wishing I hadn’t told him.

Why did I tell him?

He could have gone on hating me. I’d take that over this.

I’d take anything over this.

“How did I walk away that night?” he utters, shaking his head to himself. “How the f*ck did this happen to us, Bailey? How? You were my f*ckin’ everything, and it wasn’t supposed to be like this. I might not have f*ckin’ known, but it’s all on me. I jumped to f*cked-up conclusions. I never spoke to you after that, to give you the chance to tell me what happened. How the f*ck am I meant to live with myself now?”

I once thought I’d never ever forgive him for what happened that night, but the truth is, I already have. It will always hurt, the pain will always be there, but it wasn’t intentional. Yeah, he slept with Christa straight after, which practically killed me, but he thought I’d cheated on him and reacted to that. It was a dick move, but he was young and hurt, and I guess he wanted to hurt me right back, even though he didn’t know I was already broken at that point. We both made mistakes, and it’s time to move on.

“I shouldn’t have told you,” I whimper. “I just . . . you kept . . .”

“Shhhh,” he soothes, running his calloused fingers down my shoulder. “You should have told me a long time ago, Bailey. Things could have been different. I would have tried to fix everything, instead of you handling everything by yourself. You’re so f*ckin’ strong—you know that? I should have listened to you.” His breath hitches. “I should have f*ckin’ listened to you.”