Rake's Redemption (Wind Dragons MC #4)(39)

This is it. I have to tell him now. Fuck him and what he thinks he knows.

“We fought, yes. I went to a party, yes. I had about two drinks, and then I was going to call you to come pick me up. I didn’t want to be there; I wanted to be with you.” I take a deep breath, knowing the next part was going to be extremely hard to get out. Rake watches me expectantly, his expression giving away nothing.

“Christa gave me the drinks,” I continue. “You know I didn’t know her well. She seemed like a fun girl, although I did see her checking you out, but then, all the girls did.” I laugh without humor. “I was f*cking drugged, Adam. Roofied. I blacked out and when I came to, I was being raped. I was completely out of it. When I heard you coming into the room—I thought you were there to save me. But. You. Left. Me.”

I hit his chest with my hand. “You f*cking left me! You were supposed to save me! Why didn’t you save me?”

Tears start to drip down my cheeks, and finally I allow them to fall. I don’t hide them; I don’t suppress them; I embrace them. I accept them. These tears, they are me, my pain. A symbol of my suffering. And as I let them drip, I set myself free, a weight lifted at last. I can actually feel the moment the pain shifts from me to him.

His expression crumbles, brows furrowing. His eyes fill with pain, an expression of all-consuming horror spreading over his handsome face.

He feels it.

He rubs his chest with his palm.

Yeah, he feels it.

I didn’t want to tell him, I didn’t, but now it’s done. He knows. The thing is, no matter what, he knows one fact about me. One fact that was always true, from the day he met me, to the day I’ll die.

I never lie.

“And the worst part,” I say through my tears. “Is after all that. You slept with the girl who drugged me. And you flaunted it in front of me.”

“Bailey,” he whispers, the one word so broken, so raw, and so filled with pain that I want to hold him, but I don’t.

Because this time, I need to protect myself.

I run to my room and lock the door behind me.

Then, I bury my face in my pillow and simply cry.





SEVENTEEN





Rake


I SIT on the floor in front of her locked door, my head in my hands, and listen to her cry, each whimper destroying a part of my soul.

But I listen, because I deserve to hear each sob. Each f*ckin’ tear on that pillow is because of me.

Every word she said replays in my head on a loop.

How did I f*ck up so badly?

How did I do something like this to the one person I loved more than anyone else on this earth?

I think back to that night, trying to figure out where I went wrong.

“Hey, Adam,” Elizabeth, a girl in my English class says as she slides up to me. I spare her a glance and a lift of my chin before stepping away from her and walking to the front door of Jesse’s house. The loud music hits my ears as I open the unlocked door and step inside. There are people everywhere, both familiar faces and unknown ones. Jesse always throws parties; his parents go away a lot and don’t give a shit about what he does as long as the place is cleaned up before they get home. Bailey and I would usually make an appearance together, spend a little time with our friends before sneaking off to be alone. The last party we were at, we left early and went swimming together at the lake instead. I smile as I remember how she’d stripped down and thrown her clothes in my face before diving into the water.

“Hey, Adam!” my friend Tristan calls as he walks down the staircase.

“Hey, Tris,” I call out over the music, walking in his direction. We shake hands before I get right to the point of the reason I’m here. “Have you seen Bailey?”

Tristan shakes his head. “Haven’t seen her.”

My lips tighten. “Heard she’s here.”

“Everything all right?” he asks, brows furrowing.

I cringe. “We had an argument.”

Tristan grins knowingly and slaps me on the back. “You check upstairs. I’ll look out back for her.”

“Thanks, man,” I tell him, already starting up the stairs. Bailey has been my girlfriend since I first laid eyes on her four years ago. Aside from my baby sister, Anna, Bailey is the only woman I’ve truly cared for. Today we had the biggest fight we’ve ever had, and I won’t be able to relax until I sort this shit out with her.

Her phone is off, and I need to make sure she’s okay. Bailey can be a little reckless at times, and it’s not unusual for me to have to save her from some situation or another. She’s spirited and passionate, and I like that about her. She sure as hell was passionate about her anger during our fight today. I smile to myself as I remember her tossing her dark hair over her shoulder, full of sass, her brown eyes narrowed and filled with fire. I can’t even remember what we were fighting about now. I just know that she has me twisted around her little finger, and she doesn’t even know it. It’s always been that way when it comes to Bailey. She’s my first love, and even though we’re still young, I know it’s a real love. People can say what they like—it doesn’t bother me. I’m not the type to claim love for the first girl I see.

But Bailey isn’t just any girl.

More than eager to find her and make amends, I make my way to the second story of the house and look around for a glimpse of her. My anger sparks at the thought of her here, without me, surrounded by all these men. Our makeup sex is going to be hot tonight, that’s for damn sure.