Raging Heart On (Lucas Brothers #2)(56)

I do it, barely able to hear the leaves crunching around us over the pounding of need in my ears. He maneuvers my body exactly the way he wants me. My fingers bite into the hard bark of the tree. My toes curl into our pile of clothes he arranged under us. I’m doing my best to remember to breathe when I feel his cock slide against my ass, dipping into the valley between my cheeks, pushing against the entrance. My body tightens, wondering exactly what he’s going to do.

“Soon,” he whispers, as if he’s reading my mind—and he probably is. The idea of White taking me like that, of him stretching me someplace that seems so forbidden, terrifies and excites me all at the same time. Before I can think more about it, or even question him, I feel the head of his cock slide around, and the tip pushes into my entrance. That’s it. Just the tip. I try to push back, wanting more, but he stops me by a firm hold on my hip.

“Please,” I beg, and I am begging. The one word is so needy, the voice doesn’t even sound like my own. My heart is threatening to pound out of my chest. I feel his hand wrap my hair around and around it. He yanks, pulling my head back, and I gasp at the pain.

“I got you, Kayla. I got you,” he whispers just as his cock plunges inside of me.





CHAPTER 41


WHITE




I’m losing myself inside her. The way we fit together is beyond anything I’ve experienced before. It’s more than physical, though the physical is f*cking amazing. As I give myself over to my climax, allowing myself to go over the edge just as Kayla does, I hear her cry out my name.

“White. Don’t stop, never stop.”

“Never, sweetheart. Never,” I breathe, emptying myself inside of her. I find my hand in her hair again—touching it, wrapping my hand in it as if I have to stay connected to her like that. As we ride out our orgasm together, I welcome air into my lungs, air that is a combined scent of strawberries that will always be Kayla to me—and sex. I take it into my lungs and as it moves through my body, one fact settles into me: I’ll never be able to separate where I begin and she ends. She’s a part of me. The best part.

When she’s taken everything I have, I can’t bring myself to leave her. Instead, I keep us connected, slowly opening my eyes and finding myself staring straight at our initials I had carved earlier. The heart mocks me. I should have written the word love. I chickened out like a dumbass.

“White?”

“Shhh… don’t move.”

“I don’t want to, but…”

“But?”

“Shouldn’t we… get dressed?”

“Soon. Right now, I want to just stay inside of you, hold you like this, feeling your body against mine and remember.”

“Remember?”

“Remember the moment I put my child inside of you.”

“White. There’s no way of knowing—”

“I know. It was too special not to have happened, honey.”

“What if it didn’t?”

“It did.”

“But… if it didn’t?” she asks, and I press a kiss against the back of her neck before moving my mouth to her ear. I run my tongue along the shell, then suck the lobe into my mouth, teasing it with my tongue.

“It did. But if for some reason it didn’t, we’ll just keep trying,” I tell her once I release her ear. She doesn’t say anything else and I can’t tell you how long we stay like that, but eventually we do break apart and I help her get dressed before doing the same. We hold hands back to the side-by-side and I help her into it and latch her seatbelt. As I start to pull away, she touches the side of my face, stopping me.

“You’re an amazing man, White Hall Lucas,” she says with such conviction it almost makes me ashamed of the man I’ve been. A better man would have known that Kayla was in love with him. A better man would have seen how special she was ages ago. I vow I will be better though. I’ll be the man she deserves.

A better man for her and our child.





CHAPTER 42


KAYLA




The problem with living a lie is that it taints everything with sadness, even when you are living a dream you have wanted your whole life. A sadness so deep you feel it with each beat of your heart. We’ve been back to Dallas for two months now. The only dark spot in this dream-turned-reality is that White’s arm still hasn’t healed. He hasn’t talked about it, but I know he has to realize it is looking more and more likely that he will never play football again. Well, that and the fact that I’m lying to him daily. The taste of the lie is bitter, but I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know how to come clean. I’m afraid to mess up what we have. I’m afraid. That’s it. I’m just afraid. I’ve been in love with White for so long, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t survive losing him. I loved him before. Now? I don’t think the word “love” can sum up how I feel. That’s why today is a shit day all the way around.

I knew I couldn’t be pregnant, even though the day at the old Oak tree seemed magical and a space out of time. I’m on the pill. I’m on the pill because I know in my heart and from things White has said that he doesn’t want a child. To force that on him is something I can’t do. So I don’t regret staying on the pill. But today, after being a month late, when I begin bleeding it’s such a disappointment that I cry. I lay in the bed with huge sloppy tears running down my face, hugging my pillow and wishing things could be different.