RISK(42)

"What makes you think a man hurt me?" Her arms cross over her chest.

I want to throat punch the idiot who put her on the defensive like this. "I know a man hurt you. A f*cked up bastard named Tad Darling had a ring on your finger when he took half of the women in Vegas to bed."

She blinks at me as if she's trying to absorb every single syllable of what I just said. She's processing it, just as I was earlier when Kristof gave me the rundown on Tad Fucking Darling and how he treated Ellie. That goddamn son of a bitch.

"Is there anything you don't know about me, Nolan?"

I don't know if you're the girl who I saved a decade ago. The beautiful girl with the red hair who didn't want anything from me, but gave me more than I ever deserved. The angel who was face down on the pavement in a pool of her own blood the last time I ever saw her.

I swallow back the urge to ask if she's Kip or if she recognizes that I'm Rigs. Instead, I say the only thing I can. "Many things, Ellie. There are many things I don't know about you, but I want to learn everything."

***

"I'd like to know things about you too, Nolan."

Her words aren't unexpected. How could they be? I just told her that I want to know everything about her. I want her to be curious about me. I want to be the only man she thinks about.

"My favorite color is blue. I hate spiders, and I tried to take piano lessons last year, for the eighth time, but I quit. I f*cking quit because my piano teacher was a hard ass."

"You hate spiders?" She smiles at me. "Or you are afraid of spiders?"

"Don't rub it in, Ellie." I sigh. "I know you're not scared of anything. You probably wrestle alligators on your days off. I get that you're brave. I am too, but when there's a spider within twenty feet of me all bets are off."

My phone buzzes in my pocket again. I ignore it. If it's anything important, Eda will knock. She'll disturb me if need be.

"I want to discuss something." I meet her gaze. "I'd like this to be exclusive, for now. I'd very much like if we could agree not to date other people."

"You mean you want me to agree not to date Liam and River."

Of course, I mean I want her to stay away from those two clowns. They're both circling her waiting for a chance to pounce. I want a barrier in place that they can't cross. I need to explore this without the added anxiety that their presence will bring.

"I mean any man who wants you."

"I just got out of a serious relationship a few months ago." She takes a deep breath. "Jumping into something exclusive might not be the best thing for me right now."

"My cock is the best thing for you right now." I square my shoulders. "The rest of me too, but you have to admit, the sex was stellar last night."

"That ego, Nolan." She waves her finger in the air at me. "You need to tame that down."

I laugh. "I'm just telling it like it is, Ellie."

She chuckles softly, her hand smoothing back her hair. "So you want us to date only each other for now?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I want," I tell her without a beat of hesitation.

"When was your last serious relationship?" She glances toward my office door. "Was it with Shelby?"

"Shelby? That wasn't a relationship. That was a mistake that never qualified as anything."

"So it was before her. When did your last serious relationship end, Nolan?"

I scrub my hand over the back of my neck. I've never been ashamed to admit this. We all have strengths, each of us owns a weakness or two. Mine happens to be relationships. "I've never been in a serious relationship, Ellie. I've only ever had two girlfriends in my life and both of those were when I was fifteen-years-old. When they found out they were both my girlfriend at the same time, I stopped having girlfriends."

She doesn't laugh. There's no rush to scold me for teasing with her. Instead, she purses her lips.

"Why make this exclusive? We can date each other without labeling it."

No, we can't. That leaves the door open for any other man to come strolling into her life and that's a complication I don't want. "I have no interest in dating other women right now. I'd like to date only you with the understanding that you're not seeing other men."

There's a long pause. A f*cking long pause as she stares right at me, into me. "I'll agree to date only you, Nolan if you agree to date only me. I can't promise how long I can do that for, but for now, I'd like to try."

Great. Good. Ellie Madden is dating me. She's only f*cking me.

She stands and I follow. I reach for her, wanting a kiss, a touch, anything before I open my mouth again to tell her the one thing about me that defines who I am.

I cup her delicate face in my hands. I lean down and kiss her. It's soft at first and then urgency rushes over the connection and before I realize what I'm doing, my hand is on the back of her neck, insistent, coaxing, pushing her lips into mine. My body wants to seal the deal and cement her to me before she learns the truth. I want this and I want what I have at home. I want it all. I need it all.

She circles my waist with her hands, her fingers crawling under my suit jacket to clench the fabric of my shirt. I'm erect, hard and wanting. I want too much. I need to stop. I have to f*cking stop.