Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark #2)(111)

I tensed, waiting for the over-whelming fear of pain. The lesson White Man taught me to avoid it at all costs still had a hold on me. I lived with ghosts of what I’d done, unable to avoid the occasional spasm of regret and horror.

“I won’t force you. You can say no,” Q said, opening the door and pushing me through.

My mouth plopped open as he guided me inside and locked the door.

“You did this?” I whispered.

All around us was a massive, intricate birdcage. The walls were painted with silver bars, a giant silver bell dropped from the ceiling as a chandelier. Mirrors hung while oversize spray-painted branches loomed overhead. There were even real metal bars pressed deep into the carpet.

We were effectively trapped, imprisoned just like his beloved birds.

He cleared his throat, burning a hole into me with the intensity of his gaze. “I wanted a room that symbolized us. The cage is a promise.” His body tensed, drawing need from me to him, building rapidly until my heart flurried. “You said you’d let me do this once. I’m hoping you won’t refuse.”

He captured my cheeks with harsh fingers, reminding me he might’ve been gentle and kind the last few weeks, but he wasn’t truly that man. He’d kept the anger, the darkness away from me, carefully guarding whatever thoughts he entertained. “I told you I couldn’t let you into my bed again until I was able to see past what happened. You know I need someone strong, unbroken, courageous.”

I nodded, my pulse thudding thickly in my veins.

“I see the old Tess. For the first time in weeks, when you looked at me, I saw her. And I want her. So f*cking much.” He crashed his mouth against mine, sending my need for him spiralling out of control.

He broke the kiss, growling. “I need to be inside you, but I need to do something else first.”

I breathed shallowly, trying to figure out what he wanted. “I’ll give you whatever you ask.”

His mouth twisted as his pale eyes glowed with darkness. “Is that the truth, esclave? Would you give up your life for me? Would you let me whip you? String you up and bring you completely into my world?”

I couldn’t stop a conflict of emotions filling me. The old Tess, the one who got off on pain wanted everything Q offered. But this gentler Tess—the one who’d killed and hurt—wanted nothing to do with blood or screams for the rest of her life.

But it didn’t matter. I knew my answer. “Yes. I would.”

Q kissed me fiercely, darting his tongue into my mouth, making me drink his need and passion. Whatever he was about to ask meant a lot to him. I could taste it.

“You’re mine, Tess, but you’ve never been a true submissive. Somehow, you give me everything you can, all the while keeping everything out of reach. You drive me f*cking insane, and that’s why I need to do this.”

“You don’t need my permission.” My voice dropped to a husky whisper; my core clenched at the thought of him tying me up and f*cking me. I needed to connect. I needed him inside me. “You already have it.”

He opened his arms and I curled into his embrace. For a man who’d never hugged before, he held me often. He didn’t hold me with just love, though. He held me with possession, aggression, obsession.

Q pulled away, his jaw tight. “This will hurt. But you’ve given me your word.”

Fear replaced the love in my heart as Q gave me one last look before heading to the fireplace. With a click, the gas caught, and eager flames sprouted into being. Resting on the mantle were two long pokers.

Q picked one up, returning to me with it in his outstretched hands. “Take it.”

I cursed my trembling, but took the pole, turning it to see the emblem at the bottom. The instant I saw it, I remembered what I’d promised. That Q could scar my skin to put his mind at rest. That he could mark me so he’d always know I was his.

I ran my fingers over the sigil. “Oh.”

Q froze, bristling with black energy, restraining himself from desires I didn’t comprehend. After what happened in the gold and red room, he wore his edginess, his temper, like a cloak. I didn’t know how badly I’d damaged him, but even while he was being gentle and considerate, he lurked in the shadows, living in a place I didn’t know if I could find.

The emblem was a capital Q with a sparrow swooping toward the ground as the tail of the letter.

My eyes flashed to his, drowning in his gaze.

His shoulders bunched as he brushed away hair from my neck, running his thumb along the scar left from the tracker.

“I want to brand you. I need to have something of mine permanently on your skin.” He bent his head to press a kiss on the scar. “I need to know you’re mine.”

“I am yours. You know that.”

He shook his head, echoing unhappiness in his eyes. “You were going to leave me. I had to give you my life to make you stay. I need to see you’re mine every time I look at you. Every time someone else looks at you, I need them to know you’re taken. Call it barbaric and horrific and tell me I’m a selfish f*ck-up, but, Tess, I need this. I can’t come back to you otherwise.”

I didn’t wait another second. If he needed this simple thing, so be it. I wanted it, too.

Pushing the poker into his hands, I said, “Do it. It would be the highest honour to wear your mark.”

His jaw worked as if he held back a huge weight of emotion. His pale eyes glittered. “Je te remercie du fond de mon c?ur.” Thank you from the bottom of my heart.