Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark #2)(109)

The moment I looked into Q’s wonderful dark and bright soul, I broke again. My mouth twisted in horror for what I’d done; my eyes were useless waterfalls.

I couldn’t do anything but cry and shake and repair my fractured soul.

We were in bed in the carousel room. I remembered now: the doctor working on Q. Stitching the lashes too deep to heal naturally, bandaging the ones that didn’t. Was it only yesterday that all of this happened?

“I’ll never be able to fo—forgive myself,” I stuttered between my waterworks.

Q shook his head softly; his face glistened with an array of unhealed scars and scabbed-over cuts. I did that to him. I marred his dark beauty and painted him with violence. I branded him in my rage, in my sadness, and every time I looked at him I would remember.

I would never forget hurting the man I loved more than I loved myself.

I shut my eyes, unable to bear the agony any longer.

But Q’s gentle fingertips brushed against my eyelids, coaxing them open. “Don’t look away. I want you to accept me. Love me as I am.”

I didn’t deserve this man. I shook uncontrollably.

“Tess. Obey me.” His voice hardened and I looked up, entranced by his angry eyes. “Don’t you dare undo my hard work. You feel again, and you’re going to get through it.”

He was right. Gone was the empty void I’d existed in. I lived in a dagger-filled eternity now. The guilt lived in my lungs, tainting my every breath.

Gritting my teeth, I traced a shallow lash on his cheekbone, my touch shaky and soft. “How can you forgive me for what I did?”

He captured my hand, pressing it harder against his cheek. “How can you forgive me for what I did?” He bowed his head, kissing my neck. “I failed you. Those men should never have been able to take you from me. I failed you by not coming sooner. I failed you by keeping you. I failed you every damn time I tied you up and degraded you. I’m the one who should ask for forgiveness.”

We stared at each other until my eyes burned and I swallowed gushes of salt water to stop from crying.

“I hurt birds that you save, Q. I tortured them. I broke their bones and killed a girl with a hummingbird tattoo on her hip.” The confession eased some of the guilt and I kept going—spewing my crimes. “They drugged me so every day I thought you’d abandoned me. They turned me into their employee and I tried to get free. I disobeyed but it only made the punishment for the other girls worse. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel myself again, but you taught me I’m strong enough to live with what I’ve done.”

I snuggled closer, wanting to crawl inside him. “I love you, Q. With everything that I am.”

He sighed heavily, pressing his soft lips against mine. “I know, Tess. I know.”

*****

From: Tess Snow

Time: 7:35p.m.

To: Brax Cliffingstone



Hi,

This is hard to write as it shows me how weak I was to contact you and make you worry. Everything has worked itself out. Q rescued me, Brax. He did something I never thought he would do. He showed me just how much he loves me.

Thank you for being there for me when I was lost.

I’ll always be around if you need me, but for now, I’m going to heal with the man who brought me back to life.

All the best,

Tess.



From: Brax Cliffingstone

Time: 9:35p.m.

To: Tess Snow



Tessie,

I’m so glad to hear you’re in a better place. And it gives me peace of mind to know you’re with a man who adores you. As he should.

Heal and be happy. :-)

Catch you around,

Brax



Three weeks passed while I found my way back to wholeness.

Q put Frederick permanently in charge of Moineau Holdings and stayed home with me. A few terse conversations with the local police and they never bothered him again about my kidnapping, or what Q did to find me.

He never talked about work or what happened behind the scenes of Moineau Holdings, and I wasn’t ready to bring it up. I didn’t want to know if I was the cause of his reputation being slandered.

We never left each other sides. Our closeness cured each other.

We fixed our maladies, became each other’s healing balms. We grew to know each other in those days of soft reprieve. Chatting softly, asking questions about simpler things like our favourite ice-cream and seasons.

Suzette and Franco forgave me for everything I’d done to Q. Franco pretended to run in fear anytime I came close—until Q told him to piss off.

Suzette offered her ear anytime I needed to talk, and I might share my tale one day, but not now.

The guilt was still too sharp—the nightmares far too real. But just knowing she understood made me love her like a sister.

Q and I played cards and listened to music. We read in love-filled silence and touched each other with lingering caresses. Everything between us was sweet and healing—knitting more than just our bodies, but our minds too. We became intrinsically linked like never before.

However, Q withdrew into himself for the first two weeks. He brooded, never admitting to what ailed him. I’d catch him watching me with a turbulent look in his eyes, only for it to disappear whenever he saw me staring.

He treated me like spun glass even though something dangerous lurked within him. I knew he suffered with what I’d done. It lived in every action, every memory flitting across his face. I’d taken something fundamental from his grasp and feared he’d never be the same.