Queen Alpha (NYC Mecca #2)(29)
Calista grasped my hand and squeezed hard. “Arianna, you and Winnie are the best thing that ever happened to me. I would not change one second of my life with you.”
For the second time today I felt my throat tighten and tears prick my eyes. She didn’t exactly answer my question, but I understood her meaning. Yes, my birth tore them apart, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Sometimes duty trumped love and that’s just the way it was. A good queen knew that.
Calista stood with a big smile and clutched her tablet. “Enough of this sad talk. You’re queen, and now on the verge of being mated. I couldn’t be any happier!” She winked and I laughed. I believed that. This was what made Calista happy. Seeing my success as a queen, it reflected her good teachings.
“I’m glad you’re happy,” I said to her, and she bowed lightly before leaving the room. I stared at the door for a long while, trying to convince myself that this was the right thing to do, that one day I’d look back and be happy I chose this path.
The next morning I showered, had breakfast, and was dressed early. Kade was meeting me this morning to help me try and fix the mecca, and after our awkward conversation yesterday, I was dreading seeing him. I had made such a fool out of myself. Crying and running off! Declaring I was taking a mate. It felt like I was in high school all over again. Kade knew his duty; he knew we couldn’t carry on with the flirting. He probably thought I was some crazy hormonal woman. Besides, probably after one night together we’d be over this attraction. Surely it was only this strong because our relationship was forbidden.
Right?
As I paced the secret library room that led to the mecca stone and tried to burn off my nerves, I startled at the light knock on the door.
“Come in,” I called out with an unsteady voice.
The door opened to reveal Blaine. “Your guest is here, Your Majesty.” He bowed deeply before letting Kade enter.
My legs felt weak as the huge bear entered, his molten eyes clashing with mine. He didn’t say a word, he just stared at me, waiting for me to make the first move. His eyes did do a quick perusal of me. I was far more casually dressed than usual. My hair was down, and I was wearing tight yoga pants and a loose shirt.
Blaine was still waiting behind Kade with the door slightly ajar.
“That will be all, Blaine. Thank you.” I gave my friend a brief smile, and he nodded before slowly backing out of the room and shutting the door.
“Thank you for coming,” I said to Kade, forcing strength into my voice. I needed to make up for my loss of composure yesterday.
He nodded. “Despite the fact I would rather not be in wolf territory right now, I also don’t want the Winter Court to rise up and wipe all of us out, so here I am.”
His coldness hurt, but I understood and respected his feelings on this. If I was going to declare that it was time for me to take a mate, I needed to own the fallout.
Breathing deeply, using my meditation techniques, I calmed my racing heart. “Well, let’s get right to it, then,” I said as I walked over to the bookshelf, pulling the book down to open the secret wall and reveal the crystal room.
I felt his presence at my back. My awareness of Kade had not gone anywhere. “What’s your plan?” His gruff voice washed over me, and I hated that he was close enough for me to smell his outdoorsy scent. He smelled like the first fresh pine needles at Christmas, or fresh cut grass in summer. Damn bear.
The wall opened and I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself as the mecca energy slammed into me. “I don’t have one. We’re going to wing it,” I said.
He exhaled lightly. “Great plan, Your Majesty.”
I had to grit my teeth. Kade was in a nasty mood, and I could already tell he was going to have me ready to kill him more than once today. He was testing my trigger temper. I wasn’t sure where my temper came from. My mother had been gentle and reserved, but I often lost control of my cool. The Red Queen had been like that though, so I just figured it was my royal right to be a bitch when I felt like it.
Picking up the pace, I stepped rapidly through the short hall and into the secret mecca stone room. Trudging through the heavy magic was the same as always, although there might have been even more resistance than last time. I stopped when I was close enough to touch the stone.
Kade stood beside me, arms crossed, staring at the crystal. I stared as well. Not speaking. The air around us was heavy with energy, and many other unspoken things. I couldn’t remember our relationship ever being uncomfortable like this. There had been an ease between us even at fifteen.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly.
I shook my head. “Uh … what?”
He dropped his arms, a low groan rumbling his chest. “We shouldn’t be experimenting with the mecca while there’s anger and distrust between us. It might get us killed. So, I’m sorry, I’ve been stressed lately, and yesterday … it was just a bad day. Let’s forget about it, okay?”
If only it were that easy. I talked the talk … said I was taking a mate. Acted like I was fine with it all. But no matter what I did, I couldn’t forget Kade. The fifteen-year-old scrawny boy I had kissed on the Island was now a king and he was even more amazing than I remembered.
But he was right about messing with the mecca while angry. “You’re right. I’m sorry too for being so blunt yesterday. And personal. It’s all forgotten now.”