Queen Alpha (NYC Mecca #2)(27)

Finn was right with me. What are you doing?

I took a hard right, and through pure luck found the bathroom right off the sitting room. Finn and I snaked inside and I locked the door as a new wave of tears fell down my face.

I huddled closer to my familiar. I have no idea what’s wrong with me, I wailed through our mental connection. I think it’s the stress. I didn’t think being queen would be this hard.

My best friend peered up at me with wise yellow eyes.

If you’re being truly honest, it’s not being queen that’s much harder than you expected. It’s falling for the bear king.

I let that truth settle into my head and heart. He was right in some ways. I definitely liked Kade – he was gorgeous, funny, a good kisser, and powerful. But so were Ben, Victor, and Blaine, and a lot of other guys – wolf-shifter-guys who were available to me. I just needed to focus my flirting and energy on a man I could actually have. Damn that treeling for giving me even one second of hope. Hope was a strange thing. Once it found its way into your heart, your soul, it was almost impossible to get it out. But it was a false hope and I’d do well to remember that.

“Arianna, open the door.”

Kade’s heavy fist fell against the bathroom door. I could sense his impatience and worry. He banged again, the heavy wooden door rattling on its poor abused hinges.

“Hang on,” I said, with a bit of snarl. I would not fall apart in front of him again. Walking to the sink, I washed my hands and splashed water on my face, before patting it dry with a clean, folded hand towel.

Once I was satisfied that my face looked like I hadn’t been crying, I knelt and looked Finn in the eyes. No more talk of caring for the bear king. I will not be remembered as the queen who chose a fling over her duty and people.

Because I was starting to think that’s what the Red Queen had done, and look where that had left us all – completely screwed and at the mercy of a race far stronger than us. I would not let this thing with Kade become anything real. I was done. Today. Now.

I tore open the bathroom door to find Kade standing right on the other side. He had not moved an inch from when he was banging. The intensity he was exuding almost knocked me on my butt.

“Are you okay?” he asked, not backing up even an inch. His tone was all business, but his eyes were not. They were warm and caressing.

“I’m fine. Just had an attack of allergies.”

He didn’t move. This was it. Now or never, I had to choose: my heart or my people. The next words came out in a strangled rush. “Kade, there’s something I need to tell you.”

He didn’t move, and his expression didn’t change, but I sensed wariness in him. “You can tell me anything.”

Do it, Arianna. Now! I told myself.

“I’m taking a mate.”

Kade’s hard expression remained. Just the slightest twitch in the corner of his eye gave away a deeper emotion. His reply was slightly glacial. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” I said, my voice barely a whisper. Then he just turned around and walked away.

I blinked a few times, the hard pressure on my chest increasing as his broad back disappeared out of the house. Crap. What had I done?

Ari… Finn started.

Don’t. I don’t want to hear it. Luckily we could speak mentally, because there was no way I’d have been able to speak out loud around the lump in my throat.

I needed to shove this painful searing in my chest way down and not think about it ever again. I needed to move on and focus on what was important – fixing the mecca and taking care of my people. After taking a few measured and deep breaths, I slowly walked out into the back yard. Monica and Violet were standing with Gerald. All three of them wore neutral expressions, but I kind of knew they’d heard everything.

I cleared my throat. “Where’s Kade?”

Gerald showed none of his usual warmth as he addressed me. “King Kade shifted and went for a run. I’ll escort you home now, Your Highness.”

Just like that I was no longer welcome here, no longer allowed to be on friendly terms with the king. It was an uncomfortable drive back to the vortex. No one said a word. I’d upset Kade. I accepted my part in his ire, but we still needed to fix the mecca or we would both be screwed. Besides, when he had a chance to calm down, he would realize that what I had done was for the best. We’d been skirting around this stuff, flirting with disaster, letting the lines get blurred. It was time for one of us to make a stand.

Before I knew it we had arrived at the vortex and Gerald was escorting me out. When we reached the door, I wanted to say something, anything, to ease this uncomfortable situation that I had created. I opened my mouth but Gerald spoke first: “King Kade will meet you tomorrow morning at your estate to work on the fae issue,” he said, and then bowed slightly before walking away.

My lip quivered a little and I wanted to cry all over again.

“Your Majesty?” Monica called out to me. I turned to find her standing with Violet and Finn at the vortex.

My best friend stepped closer to me, slipping her hand into mine. My aching heart clenched; her support was enough to send me over the emotional cliff again, so with one final squeeze I let her hand go.

Straightening my shoulders, I took a few deep and steadying breaths. It was time for me to be the queen shifter I had been born to be, time for me to get over my heartache, over the subtle but distinct rejection from Gerald.