Priceless (Forbidden Men #8)(56)

Hugging her close, I buried my face in her hair. She petted my head, quiet for a minute before murmuring, “If you’re like disfigured—you know, down there—it wouldn’t bother me. I mean, heck, I probably wouldn’t even know the difference since I’ve never seen one before.”

I laughed, pretty sure that was her intent the entire time, to lighten the mood. “Shut up, smart-ass. I’m not disfigured.”

“Oh.” I swear, she actually sounded disappointed about that. “Well...whatever. I’m just saying, it wouldn’t have mattered.”

“Go to sleep,” I rumbled into her hair.

“Demandy pants,” she huffed back even as her body settled more snuggly against mine.

When she went still a minute later, I knew she was out.

I relaxed some myself and then tugged her even closer. But sleep didn’t come nearly as quickly for me. First of all, I was still tempted to give her exactly what she wanted, and my cock wouldn’t stop throbbing. But most importantly, I was worried. She knew I had some kind of secret now. What if she somehow got it out of me? What if she learned what I’d done?

I wasn’t sure I could survive if that happened.





SARAH




I felt crappy when I woke up Tuesday morning.

Brandt was gone. I pressed my hand to his empty pillow, hoping the night before hadn’t happened. Not the date part. The date had been amazing. And not even the part where he’d curled around me and clutched me for dear life as we’d fallen asleep together. That had been soul-binding.

But the part where I’d ruined everything by asking him to take my virginity. That...yeah, that part had sucked balls. Big, mutated, elephant-sized donkey balls.

I still couldn’t believe I’d done it. Right up until the second the question had popped out of my mouth, I hadn’t planned on asking it. And then he’d even gone and given me an out as soon as I’d said it, telling me we could just forget about it. But no...I’d just had to push.

Why? Why had I pushed?

It could’ve been because Seth had rattled me, maybe, left me questioning everything, and I’d just grown so determined to show him and myself—heck, the entire world—that I could be a normal, average woman. But Brandt had been right again when he’d told me I was trying to use him to make myself feel better.

God, I hated it when he was right. I’d never meant to belittle and objectify him.

Even so, not knowing whatever secret he was keeping bothered me. A lot. We didn’t keep secrets from each other, though now that I thought of it, he’d never shared anything of his sex life with me, purposefully keeping me separated from that part of him. I just...I couldn’t figure out why.

I was humiliated and embarrassed, sad, hurt, and yet extremely glad he’d come back and made us talk it through. If we’d left it as a fight in front of my house, I would’ve been too ashamed to ever face him again.

And now I felt even worse for hurting his feelings, and then for picking at something that was obviously a tender subject for him.

I’d make it up to him.

I’d apologize again. Bake him some cookies. Something.

When my alarm clock went off, I slapped at my snooze button for like the third time this morning and sighed up at my ceiling, wishing I could just stay curled in bed for the rest of the year...or at least until I shed this crappy guilt.

Seconds later, my bedroom door burst open and Gracen, followed by Issa, raced inside to climb onto my bed and then climb onto me, babbling something about cereal, I think.

“Issa! Gray!” Reese was only a few seconds behind them as she burst into the room. “Let your aunt sleep.” She looked bedraggled and half dressed for work. “I’m so sorry, Sarah. I’ll get them out of here.”

“No, it’s fine,” I told her. “Go ahead and do whatever you need to do. They can hang out with me for a few minutes while you get ready. I don’t have class until nine.”

“Oh my God. Thank you! I’m running late and really appreciate it.” She slapped a quick kiss to my forehead, told her two children to behave, and then escaped from the room.

The twins stayed on the bed with me, and we played tickle games until Reese had everything in order. She was scarfing down a granola bar when she popped back in to collect them. “Thanks again, Sarah. You’re a lifesaver.” After scooping up Gray, she tugged Issa to the floor by her hand. Then she paused to ask, “Do you need help with anything?”

She asked me that every day. Most of the time, I did need something, help with my hair, underwear, makeup. But she was already late and besides, it struck me how much time she’d put into me over the years. Not wanting to be an obligation this morning and knowing I could get the bare essentials by myself with a little more time and effort, I shook my head. “No thanks. I got it.”

That made her pause uncertainly. “You sure?”

I nodded. Today, I just couldn’t be a bother to anyone. I couldn’t...I don’t know. After last night, I was still feeling selfish and needy. So it was extra important to me to prove to myself that I could get by just fine without relying on everyone else for my comfort and happiness.

And I ended up nearly being late for my first class of the day because of it. Usually, I showed up early. But this morning, I rolled into the lecture hall just as the professor was beginning class. Most of the seats were taken, so I paused my chair at the front of the room next to the last row and used my lap as a desk as I dragged my laptop from my book bag to take notes.