Perfect for You(22)

He smiles. “Great. What do you have in mind?”

“Any parties going on tonight?”

“Nah. We have school in the morning. But…” He makes a sharp left, and I have to grab the door handle to keep from sliding in my seat. “Sorry. Last minute decision.”

“Where are we going?”

“To play darts.” Ash and darts. Good thing I like to play.

“Cool, but where?”

“Liz’s house. She has three dartboards in her basement. It’s great for tournaments.”

My heart jumps to my throat. “Liz Mathews? The freshman?”

“Yeah. Why does it bug you that she’s a freshman? Do you have something against freshmen?”

Yeah, the way they steal my boyfriends. “How do you know she has three dartboards in her basement? How do you know where she lives?” Has he been to her house? I can’t help thinking of the way she looked at Ash at Jackson’s party. I wouldn’t doubt she invited him over, that she’s trying to hook up with him. She obviously didn’t give a damn about me when she was waving and batting her eyelashes at Ash.

He shrugs. “She told me.”

“You two talk a lot?” Is this my punishment for what’s going on with Noah? Am I going to lose Ash to Liz? Am I doomed to relive sophomore year with Derrick? Now I really do feel sick.

“A little at practice. She’s nice. She saw me playing darts at Jackson’s party and told me about her basement. She said I’m welcome anytime.”

I bet she said that. I’ve seen the way she looks at Ash, like she wants to devour him. My nails dig into my palms as I squeeze my hands into fists. “I don’t want to go to Liz’s house.”

“Why not? Meg, what’s going on?”

“Can you pull over?” I stare out my window, not wanting to look at him right now. Tears fill my eyes.

Ash pulls into the parking lot for the used tire shop. It’s closed, so we’re the only ones there. He cuts the engine and unhooks his seat belt. “Meg, look at me.” He gently takes my arm, tugging it toward him.

I turn, barely able to see him through the tears that are pooling in my eyes.

He pulls me to him, kissing the top of my head and stroking my hair. How can I even think Ash would cheat on me or be tempted by Liz? He loves me. He always puts me first. I’m the one screwing up. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve to be in this relationship. I cry harder, dotting his shirt with my tears. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay.”

No, it won’t. Because I don’t think I can make Noah go away. I don’t want Noah to go away. But I don’t want to lose Ash either. If I don’t make a decision soon, I’m going to lose them both.

“Please, talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”

I lift my head. “Don’t hang out with Liz,” I blurt out.

His brow furrows. “Liz? Why not?”

“Please, just don’t. I don’t trust her. I’ve seen the way she looks at you.”

Ash shakes his head. “Liz doesn’t look at me as anything but a friend. We even joke around and refer to her as my little sister. She calls me ‘big bro’. There’s nothing going on there.”

My God, it’s worse than I thought. “Ash,” I sit up in my seat, “don’t you see? That’s all a game. She’s totally into you. She’s flirting with you.”

“Why would she call me her big brother if she’s into me? That doesn’t make sense.”

“That’s what stupid freshmen girls do. They play games. She knows you’re with me, and by calling you her big brother,” I can’t help making air quotes, “she’s making it okay to hang all over you. I’m telling you, she likes you.”

He leans back against his door. “I don’t get you, Meg. You hang out with Noah, who you know likes you, and you think that’s okay. I’m supposed to deal with him being at your matches and taking you to a water park, but you can’t handle me being friends with Liz?”

“It’s different!” My voice is shaky and high-pitched.

“You’re right. Because Liz doesn’t like me like that. Noah’s clearly into you. He’s totally disrespecting me in front of everyone, but you don’t seem to care.”

“That’s not true.” I’m shaking now, not knowing how to get out of this situation.

“Which part? Him liking you and disrespecting me, or you not caring?”

“Ash.” I reach for him, but he pulls away. “You know I love you.”

“Yeah, well you have a funny way of showing it. Usually it’s the guy you’re in love with that you hug after you win a big match.”

“You weren’t there.” Damn, that didn’t come out right.

“So, you think it’s okay to be with him when I’m not around? Is that what you’re saying?”

“No. I—” I don’t know how to make this better. My hands are shaking so much I’m getting freaked out by them. I unclick my seat belt and throw myself at Ash. I’m on his lap, kissing his cheeks and then his lips. But he doesn’t kiss me back. His arms remain at his sides, not touching me. I keep kissing him, pulling him closer to me so our bodies are pressed up against one another. Finally, he gives in. His hands clench my back. His lips leave mine and trail down my neck. His fingers creep up my shirt. And then, he stops.