Out of the Ashes (Sons of Templar MC #3)(94)

He then licked, sucked, and bit at my clit in such a way I thought I’d be the first woman to die from an intense climax. When I came down, still breathing, I relaxed, only to have Zane flip me on my stomach, lifting me so I was on all fours. He leaned over me and kissed my neck. His hand moved from my sensitive clit backward. “Told you I was going to take every inch of you,” he said on a low growl, his finger probing my ass. “Gonna do that now, Wildcat,” he continued, while he pushed in.

I didn’t expect to love it, but I was with Zane so I don’t know why I didn’t expect anything less than a-f*cking-mazing. He started slow at first, then when he registered my sounds of pleasure, me pushing back against him, he went fast. And hard. And it was magnificent.





Bull thought the past four years of his life had been hard. They had. They’d been f*ckin’ agony. Living in that void, that void of nothingness, despair and self-hatred. That was a fate worse than death. Living those two months didn’t compare to that hell, because at least he could breathe knowing his girls were still in the light, still bathing in sunshine. That’s what got him through every day. That and the club. He’d gone nomad for two months, driving all over the f*ckin’ country, trying to find a way out. A way out of the darkness he found himself back in, facing a life without them. So he did shit. Shit that took him back to the depths. Shit that left the taste of ash in his mouth. But nothing could get him to forget her. Forget them. Not for a second. So he lost his control, found himself back in Amber. Told himself it was only to sell his house. Talk to Cade about leaving permanently.

Then he saw her. The light came gleaming back in as soon as he glimpsed her. Her struggled against it. Fucking battled, especially when he tasted her lips again. Took everything he had to pull himself off her. When he couldn’t find it in himself to be cruel, to dismiss her, he tried to disgust her. By telling her about Laurie. He spoke the words that had never seen the light of day, expecting her to think of him as a monster, the way he thought of himself. Instead, his beautiful girl gave him more. Forgiveness. The look in her eyes, the acceptance, somehow led to him forgiving himself. Finally letting go of that shit that had been festering, poisoning his soul. Then he got her back. In every way. And f*ck if he didn’t feel like grinning, ear to ear.

“Zane?”

Bull jerked up, moved his eyes from his guitar. The one that Laurie had bought him. The one he played in bed to her, after she would beg him to play stupid girly songs. He would. Back then, he’d do anything to put a smile on her face. Didn’t take much to put a smile on his either.

His eyes landed on Lexie. She had already thrown herself at him earlier that night when she first saw him. Beamed at him, gave him another shaft of light. She’d teared up a little, then commenced in an epic f*ckin’ chatter, filling him in on everything he had missed in the last two months. Her face wasn’t light and easy like it had been then. It was tortured, full of anguish, something that didn’t belong on such a face.

Mia had told her. He wasn’t surprised. There were no secrets between those two.

He braced. He didn’t know what to expect from Lexie.

“Yeah, Lex,” he answered softly, carefully.

She walked up to him, moved to stand in front of him, and paused.

“Can I play you a song?” she asked finally, her voice quiet.

Bull gazed at her, then nodded.

She gave him a small, sad smile, then sat on the chair in front of him.

She started to play ‘Unclouded Day,’ by Audra Mae.

Bull had no f*ckin’ clue how she knew to play that song. How she knew her soft voice, playing those f*ckin’ soul wrenching words would fix him. Shake him to his core. Somehow bring him peace. Bring Laurie peace. He didn’t know how she knew to play that song, but he loved her for doing it. Every part of him. That moment, as she trailed off, finished the song, he knew he’d never see a glimpse of darkness again.

Little did he know, shit would happen to prove him f*cking wrong.





One Month Later



I was happy. It wasn’t an excuse but it was one of the reasons. I was deliriously happy. Never in my wildest dreams would I have conjured up a man like Zane. Big. Tattooed. Scary. Silent. Silence was not something I knew well. Not something my daughter knew well. But it seemed to fit us. Seemed to counteract our constant chatter. Gave us balance. He didn’t need words to communicate how he felt with us. But he was using them more often, speaking to us. I commented on it, one night in bed. I was curled up in his side. I didn’t know what I had expected his answer to be, but I definitely didn’t expect my heart to almost explode with love.

He pulled me to lie on top of him, like he did when he wanted to command my complete attention.

“I don’t speak because up until recently, I haven’t had anything to say,” he began gruffly. “My attention, my life, was dedicated to the club and my thirst for revenge. That thirst coursed through my veins in a white hot intensity that dwarfed everything else.” His eyes were far away; even though he had his arms around me, his mind was somewhere else. “When I got that revenge, thirst was gone. Fury was left. And the battle—” He paused for a moment, eyes moving back to focus on me as if he had to make conscious effort to drag himself out of his head. He stroked my cheek. “The battle that I fought every day against the demons that threatened to destroy me. To speak, to joke, is to do more than exist, and, baby, that wasn’t what I was doing. I was surviving. I was doing that in silence, or as close as I could get. My life was a dark, lonely place.” He paused again, wiping a tear that had trickled down my face at his words. At the glimpse beneath the hard fa?ade. He did his half smile thing before continuing.