On the Rocks(98)

When 8:00 P.M. rolled around and I still hadn’t heard from anyone, I realized how serious this was. I heard footsteps on the stairs and looked up, hoping that Grace had come back and wasn’t really dumping me as a friend. I’d been dumped enough for the time being.

“How are you doing?” Wolf asked as he sat down next to me, a small, red mark visible on his cheek.

“I’ve been better,” I said. “I guess you heard what happened.”

“Yeah.” He sighed.

“I’m sorry I hit you with my shoe,” I said. I couldn’t believe I actually had to say those words.

“That’s okay. I’m happy it was an accident. And that you throw like a girl.”

“I don’t know what happened. One minute we were talking, and the next we were attacking each other. I think we’ve all lost our minds,” I said as I stared out into the road, hoping Bobby or Grace or both of them would return and want to be my friend again.

“Friends fight sometimes. This one sounded like a big one. I could hear you guys from down the street.” He shook his head in sadness.

“This is a disaster. Everyone is mad at everyone, Grace left, and I have no idea where Bobby is. I don’t know what to do.”

“Bobby’s at the Landing,” he said casually.

“Shocker.”

“He came home talking about how of all the times he imagined you and Grace getting into a girl fight, that was nothing like what he expected.”

“I can’t believe she left. I thought she’d drive around for a bit and come back.”

“It will be okay, little Abby. You will make up. I need to apologize to her too.”

“Huh? Why do you have to apologize? Did you take an extra coconut water out of the fridge or something? Don’t worry about it. We forgive you,” I said.

“No, it’s not that. Although, ya, I did do that too, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I have a confession to say.”

“A confession? What could you possibly have to confess? You’re the only one who hasn’t done anything wrong.”

“Yes, I have. See, the truth is . . . well, I’m the Walk of Shame guy,” he said, staring at the slats on the wooden deck.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“I’m the guy running the Walk of Shame website.”

“What? Why? How?” I asked, my brain trying to understand how he could be responsible for the website without any of us knowing about it.

“The guys around here are always talking about what they’re planning on doing at night in front of me, when they golf. They talk like no one else is listening, which is strange, because I’m standing right next to them holding their putters. So one day, after one guy wasn’t that nice to me, and didn’t tip me either, I decided that I would get even by putting his picture on a website. One thing led to another, and then everyone was talking about it, so it sort of became my hobby. I want to be the Perez Hilton of Newport. Maybe one day I can sell the site and make a million dollars. That’s the American dream, right?”

“You did that all by yourself?” I asked, still stunned that Wolf was savvy enough to run a covert tech operation off his iPhone.

“I too am a marvel of German engineering!” he said proudly.

“But you put Grace on there! Why did you do that?” I asked.

“That might be why I should apologize. I didn’t want to, but she looked so funny in her yellow dress, and I thought maybe I’d be helping her. You know, maybe Johnny would leave her alone if he saw that she was out having fun without him. I’m thinking now that that wasn’t the best idea.”

“You think? Wolf, she’s going to destroy you.”

“I was trying to help. But maybe I didn’t do that. What’s the saying? The road to hell is paved with good intentions?”

Sure, that one he got right. At least now I didn’t have to worry about being the sole target of Grace’s anger. She was going to pummel Wolf within an inch of his life when she found out about this. With any luck, she’d forget why she was mad at me altogether.

“I have to say, I’m oddly impressed. I guess when I think about it, you sort of disappeared at random times and then magically resurfaced when something was going on. It actually makes perfect sense. You were kind of hiding in plain sight the whole time, you know what I mean?” I asked.

“No. I have no idea what that means,” he answered.

“Never mind.”

“Well, I’ll talk to little Gracie when she comes back here. Don’t worry, she’ll forgive you, and hopefully me too.”

“I hope so, or else we just ended a twenty-year friendship over nothing. Literally.”

“No way. You guys are such good friends. It’s not easy to have friends like that. It’s like finding hay in a needle stack.”

I smiled. I didn’t need to correct him. I knew exactly what he meant.

“Like I said, Bobby’s at the Landing. Just saying. Maybe start there. I’m going to go take a nap. When I wake up, I hope I have my friends back, and that no one is throwing shoes.”

He patted my head as he stood and left.



I TOOK A SHOWER AND changed before I went into town to find Bobby and begin my apology spree. I knew I had pushed him too far and had taken my own issues out on him simply because he was there. I walked the few blocks to the Landing and found him sitting alone in our usual spot at the end of the bar, drinking a beer and eating peanuts, their shells littering the space in front of him.