Never Tied Down (The Never Duet #2)(63)

I took her free hand in mine, and brought it up to my lips, kissing her knuckles, watching her facial expression alternate between worried and scared. It started to ring and I felt her tense, and after three rings, I could hardly feel my fingers anymore because she was squeezing them so hard.

But then there was a click on the line and I heard Kevin’s voice say, “Hello?” He sounded hopeful, as if he saw the phone number and was wishing it were hers.

Kalli was frozen, mouth open, prepared to say something, but nothing came out. With wide eyes she turned to me, eyes welling with tears.

“Is this Kevin?” I asked, gently rubbing my thumb over her hand, trying to bring her back.

“This is.” His voice turned harder, hearing mine. He obviously didn’t want to talk to me.

“This is Riot, Kalli’s boyfriend. She’s here, listening, and we have a few questions.”

“Kalli’s there? She can hear me?” All hardness was gone from his voice again, and the hope was back. His voice was soft and warm, and I would have bet money he had tears in his eyes, exactly like Kalli.

“She’s here, and yes, she can hear you.”

“Kalli…,” her father said, obviously overcome by emotion. “God, baby doll, I’ve wanted to talk to you so many times throughout the years.”

And with that, I knew Kalli would be unavailable to talk to Kevin. Her phone dropped to her lap, her hand wrenched itself from mine, and she used both of hers to hide her face. I took the phone, but wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her over to me. I could feel her shake against me, silently crying.

“Kevin, we noticed you have a San Diego area code. Is that where you live?”

“Yes, I’m in San Diego.”

“Kalli would like to meet you. So if you could come to LA, where we live, we’d appreciate it. Are you free this weekend?”

“Uh, I’m free whenever. I’ll be there whenever she needs me to be.”

I had to hold back my acidic response, literally bite my lip to make sure I didn’t tell him that she’d needed him for over twenty years and that one eager phone call wasn’t going to make up for his absence.

“This Saturday. Noon. There’s a coffee shop on the corner near her place. We’ll text you the address and meet you there.”

“I’ll be there, Kalli,” he said, obviously hoping she was still listening. He couldn’t hear her, but she was still silently crying against me. “I’m so grateful you called.”

“We’ll see you there, Kevin.”

“Okay. I’ll be there.”

I didn’t bother saying good-bye, just ended the call, dropped the phone, then wrapped both my arms around my girl. Once she knew the phone call was over, she started crying in earnest, not holding anything back.

“He used to call me baby doll,” she said between sobs. “When I was little. He called me that all the time, when he wasn’t yelling.”

I was seething. I knew it would be difficult for Kalli to talk to her father, knew it would upset her, but I was sick and tired of watching Kalli cry. I was tired of bad things happening to Kalli, tired of Kalli crying because she was hurting. I didn’t want her to hurt anymore. And the worst part was, I couldn’t take the pain away. I couldn’t fix this for her, even though I desperately wanted to. All I could do was hold her while she cried and that made me feel entirely useless.

“Kal, he’s not worth all these tears.”

“I know,” she said, and I could tell she was trying to contain her emotions. “His voice just caught me off guard, and then he called me that, and I kind of lost it.”

“Are you sure you want to see him?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know what I want.” Her eyes met mine and she looked lost. I brought her forehead to my lips, kissed her gently, and then laid back down, bringing her with me.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Seriously. Saturday comes and you decide you don’t want to see him, I’ll go down there and tell him to take a hike. You’re in control here. You get to make all the decisions. You tell me what you want, what you need, and I’ll make it happen.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

“What do you need, Kal?” I needed her to give me something, I needed to take care of her, to make it better somehow.

“I just need you to hold me.”

I sighed against her. “I can do that.” So I did.





Chapter Eighteen


With Riot by My Side


Kalli

To say I was nervous would have been a drastic understatement. In fact, nervous, as a word, didn’t cover the enormity of what I was feeling that Saturday as I waited inside a coffee shop to potentially see my father twenty years after he’d walked out on me.

The entire week had been nothing short of mind-numbingly slow. I had more than enough time to think about what would happen on Saturday, more than enough time to mentally freak out about it, but by Thursday I was starting to get a grip. By Thursday, I had to. I watched Riot worry about me, worry about his sister, and I saw the toll it was taking on him. Eventually, I just had to tell myself whatever happened, happened. There wasn’t anything I could do about it, so I had to push the anxiety to the back of my mind and be present in the moment, present with Riot, okay with Riot, so that he could be okay too.