Never Tied Down (The Never Duet #2)(62)

“Well, Halah’s pregnant,” I said with mock surprise. Luckily, Kalli giggled. She giggled in between sniffles, but she giggled nonetheless. “You all right?”

“Yeah. I guess.”

“Lots of stuff happening. Heavy stuff. Stuff that makes you think about things.” I ran my hand slowly up and down her leg, trying to coax her into talking to me. I didn’t want to push her, and I knew eventually she’d open up and tell me what was going on in her brain, but I also knew that for Kalli, keeping emotions locked inside only did bad things. Things I wanted to avoid if possible.

“What would you say if I told you I wanted to call Kevin?”

God, I loved her.

“I’d say you’ve got every right to call him.”

“Do you think it’s stupid and masochistic?”

It was my turn to support her, so I turned toward her on the couch and took her hands in mine, lowered my head, and looked directly into her eyes.

“There is nothing stupid about wanting to talk to your own father. It’s natural to be curious and to want some answers. It’s not masochistic, but I’m hoping you go into it understanding that you can’t let his actions determine your worth. If he ends up being a complete jackass and doesn’t see what a great, smart, beautiful, and talented daughter he has, well, that’s on him, not you.”

“I’m really afraid that if I talk to him and find out he’s a terrible person, it’ll break something inside me, like the last piece of me that is still intact will crumble altogether. But I’m more afraid of finding out he’s great.”

“Baby, why would it be bad if he turns out to be great?”

“Because then I’ll know I missed out on having a great dad all these years.” She said the words and tears tumbled down her cheeks. I’d never really felt my heart break before that moment. Kalli was a grown woman. A successful, grown, sophisticated, independent woman, and the dad who abandoned her years ago could still turn her into a brokenhearted little girl. I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her to me, then lay back on the couch with her body draped over mine.

“It might not be a great experience, meeting him. And I can guarantee, even if you meet him and things do go great, it won’t fix everything either. The only thing we know for sure is that you are capable of thriving on your own, and I’ll be here to support you no matter what happens.”

It took her a moment to gather her thoughts and stop the tears that silently fell down her face.

“I wish I didn’t have to talk to him on the phone. I wish I could meet him somewhere, see him face-to-face.”

I inwardly groaned. I wanted to protect her as much as I could, and that was easier if they spoke on the phone first. It would be easier to take her phone and hang up on him than to pull her out of a restaurant.

“What about Skype?” I offered. That seemed like a good compromise.

“That will be awkward don’t you think?”

“We used to Skype all the time.”

“That was different,” she said, her shy smile crossing her face. I smiled back because she had a point. The appeal with Skype for Kalli and me was that we could see each other, all of each other if needed.

“Point made.” I took in a deep breath and then blew it out, knowing my next words would seal the deal. “I don’t know if you noticed, but the phone number on that card has a San Diego area code.”

Her eyes went wide. “You think he lives in San Diego?”

I pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, then slid my hand up to cup the back of her neck. “I think it’s worth a shot to find out.”

“So, you think I should call him?”

“If you want to meet him, then yeah, I think you should call him, babe.”

“Okay,” she whispered, but didn’t move off me, keeping her eyes on mine. I put pressure on the back of her neck, bringing her mouth to mine. I kissed her and felt her relax into me, her hands sliding up my chest and up into my hair. When the tip of her tongue traced the seam of my lips, I groaned, opening for her. I loved being in control, loved having hold of her and taking what I wanted, all the while knowing I was going to give her exactly what she needed in the process. But when Kalli initiated, when she took the lead and let me know what she needed, that was sexy as hell too.

So I was following her lead. Kissing her, stroking my hand through her hair, letting my hand roam over her body, but not taking it any further. This particular moment wasn’t about sex for her, and I could tell. It was about a connection. Her kiss wasn’t telling me she wanted me, it was telling me she was glad I was hers, that she was grateful for us.

“I love you,” she whispered against my lips.

“I love you too, baby.”

She rested her head on my chest and we let our breathing return to normal, let our heart rates settle.

“You feel like going to San Diego soon?” she asked after a few minutes.

“Babe, he wants to meet you, he comes to LA.”

“Right. Okay,” she said, pushing out a breath, trying to build up her courage.

“Do you want to wait? You don’t have to call him now.”

“I feel like I should just get it over with.”

I could understand that. “Whenever you’re ready.”

She pushed off me and reached for her cell phone on the coffee table. Then she dialed the number from memory, which made my chest feel tight. She’d stared at that card enough to memorize his phone number. She took in a deep breath and then hit Send, and then the speaker button.