Never Tied Down (The Never Duet #2)(53)
It took her a moment, but she finally spoke.
“There was a time in my life where I thought kids weren’t really an option for me. You know how I was: I never wanted to be with someone long enough to get to a third date, let alone have kids with them. I thought, with Marcus, it would be too disruptive or too difficult. So I kind of accepted that kids wouldn’t be a part of my future. But I guess, in the last month or so, kids have become a reality again.”
Fuck but I loved her.
“So how many kids do you think you’d like?” I asked gently, not wanting to freak her out by having a serious relationship conversation over Cheetos and Diet Coke.
“Well, I mean, I guess the smart thing would be to start with one and see how it goes from there, right?”
“Like with dogs?” I asked, laughing. Luckily, she laughed too.
“Yeah.” Her laughter tapered off and then she asked, “How do you feel about kids?”
“I’d love to have kids with you, Kal.”
“That’s really sweet, Ri,” she said shyly. “But how do you feel about kids in general? How did you feel about them before you met me?”
This time it was I who shrugged. “I hadn’t thought too much about it. Kids were just always a part of my future. It was usually a distant, hazy future, but they were there.”
“How distant is it now?” Her voice was still painfully shy and I could almost feel the heat radiating from her cheeks.
“The vision is becoming clearer every day.”
She paused but then asked, “Have you ever had a near-death experience?”
“Well that escalated quickly.” I laughed. “And no, I never have. You?”
“Thankfully, no.” I saw her thumb move over her phone out of the corner of my eye, but then I heard her say excitedly, “Viewpoint!”
Sure enough there was another viewpoint one mile up the road. As we pulled off the highway and onto a glorified shoulder with a few parking spaces, I noticed a lot of the lookout points in Oregon and Northern California were abundant with trees, but the farther south we headed, the dryer and more brown everything became. This viewpoint was drastically different from the one we’d first met at back in Seattle so many months ago.
We met at the front of the car and she took the hand I held out for her. We walked toward the railing and she leaned into my side, resting her free hand over my heart. We watched for a few minutes as the waves crashed onto the rocks below. Sometimes my eyes wandered out to the horizon, like they had my whole life, straining to see as far as I possibly could. I don’t know what I thought would magically appear at that imaginary line where water met sky, but sometimes I thought if I looked long enough I’d see something spectacular—like the edge of the earth or something.
We were still a few hours outside of LA and the sun was getting lower in the sky, inching toward the water, coloring the horizon the oranges and reds I loved to look at. I could smell the flowery scent of Kalli’s shampoo, feel her soft curves pressed along the side of my body, and for as far as I could see was blue water with the shiny reflection of the sunset. I couldn’t remember a moment more perfect than that one. It was remarkable.
Gripping Kalli’s chin between my thumb and forefinger, I angled her face toward me and then feathered my lips across hers. She melted into the kiss, turning her whole body into mine, moving her hand up my chest to grip my shoulder. I pressed our still linked hands into the small of her back and swept my tongue into her mouth.
Her hair was up in a messy knot atop her head, she was wearing one of my t-shirts and a pair of leggings, she had no makeup on, and her mouth tasted slightly of chocolate donuts and Diet Coke. I loved her. More than anything in the world, I loved her.
“I want a life with you, Kalli. I want this, us, forever.” My forehead was pressed against hers, our lips still barely touching, and I could feel the grip she had on my shoulder tightening.
“You’ve got me.” Her voice was a whisper, almost as though it hurt her to say the words. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
I moved my free hand up to her nape and gripped her there, using it for leverage as I covered her lips with mine, taking the kiss I so desperately needed at that moment. I needed to feel her, to feel like I had everything from her I could. My tongue took wide, deep, swipes through her mouth, and she met me at every pass, giving me exactly what I was looking for: reassurance. I wasn’t in this alone. I could give and give and give, without having to worry that she wouldn’t give right back.
She let a moan slip into my mouth and it nearly undid me, and much like the first night we met at a viewpoint, I had to stop kissing her before I took it too far. I had to rein in my basic urges to push her onto the hood of our rental car and claim her right there, and instead I tucked a wayward strand of hair behind her ear and walked her to the passenger side of the car.
Before she climbed in she turned and went up on her tiptoes, pressing her mouth against my ear.
“One day, I’m going to get you to make love to me at a viewpoint.” She drew my earlobe into her mouth, biting gently, forcing my eyes to close as a wave of tremors rolled through my body.
“Fuck, Kalli, you can’t say shit like that and then expect me to walk away,” I said, gripping her waist and pushing her against the frame of the car. My mouth went directly for her neck, sucking on her delicate skin until I heard a gasp, then gently kissing the same spot.