Never Tied Down (The Never Duet #2)(48)

There was a moment of quiet between us, then she said, “I know you’re a strong woman, Kal. And I know you could have gone to LA and done just fine on your own. But I’m really glad you and Riot worked it out. You deserve to be happy.”

“Thanks,” I said, my face seriously cracking from my smile.

“Okay, well, I’m gonna go put this little one to bed, then take my punishment from Porter.”

“Sounds terrible,” I said sarcastically.

“Being with him is such a hardship.” We both laughed at that. “Let me know about Thanksgiving, okay?”

“Will do, and thanks for calling.”

“Anytime.”

I heard her end of the call disconnect and let out a sigh. I knew I was lucky to have met Ella and Megan, knew all along we were all brought into each other’s lives for a reason. And in that moment, I was so happy knowing I’d always have their friendship.



After my bath and nightly face ritual, I’d gone to bed a little earlier than normal, realizing I was bored without Riot there. One week of his presence and I was already at a loss without him. So I’d curled up in bed with a book I’d been trying to read for months, but fallen asleep after only a few pages.

When I woke, it was because Riot’s strong arm, which was draped around me at the waist, was pulling me closer to him and his nose was nuzzling the back of my neck. I smiled, then rolled toward him, pressing my front as close to his as I could get, letting my face find that perfect spot between his jaw and his shoulder that seemed to have been made exactly for me to lay my head to rest in.

“I missed you,” I whispered sleepily against his skin, and felt his arms wrap tighter around me.

“Sleep, baby,” he whispered back, kissing my hair.

“Mmmkay.”

The next time I woke up, it was to the sound of Riot’s deep breaths, the rhythmic movement of his chest under my cheek, and the bright sunlight filtering through the blinds in my bedroom. I was warm, still wrapped up in his arms, and more comfortable than should be possible. Besides the one time I’d woken earlier that night, I’d slept deeply and long. I was well rested and wide awake.

I slowly lifted my head and took a moment to stare at his face. There was no denying, by anyone, that Riot was attractive. You didn’t get lead parts on network cop dramas if you weren’t. He was becoming somewhat of a household name and heartthrob, and only a few episodes had aired. He was tall, dark, and stupidly handsome. But lying in my bed, holding me close, he looked adorable. His face was almost childlike when he slept. With his dangerously sexy eyes closed, his face took on a wholly different, peaceful quality, which was quite nearly innocent looking.

I knew he’d worked late the night before, or even early that morning, and I didn’t want to wake him, so I tried to sneak out of his grasp slowly. I’d made it almost out of the circle of his arms before his voice startled me.

“If you leave, I won’t be able to sleep,” he said with his adorably cute, sleepy voice. My body went lax where I’d been stopped and I leaned over, resting my head against his stomach.

“That seems a little extreme.”

“Are you calling me a liar?”

“No, I’m only saying, we’ve spent just as many nights together in the last week as we had in our whole relationship almost. It’s brand-new. You can’t be that reliant upon my presence for sleep yet.”

Riot knifed up in the bed, grabbed me, and then, suddenly, I was on my back and he was above me.

“I spent so many nights without you because it’s what I thought you wanted, what I thought you needed. If it had been up to me I never would have left your side, I would have been there every moment to help you through your mourning. But you told me to go. And that’s okay. I understand. But I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it was easy for me. It wasn’t. Every night I lay in my bed wishing I could hold you, hoping for just a faint waft of your shampoo from the one pillow you used, which I slept with every night. I hoped you were okay. Prayed you were eating enough, that you weren’t alone all the time, that someone was there to make you laugh every once in a while just to remind you that it wasn’t all darkness everywhere.

“So, yes, the last few nights I’ve not only gotten used to you sleeping next to me, it’s given something back to me that I thought I might have lost forever, and I’m not ready to take it for granted yet. So, unless you’ve got somewhere pressing to be, please, just lie with me.”

“Okay,” I said, nodding slightly. He let out a large sigh, rolled off me, then pulled me to his side again. I found my special place made just for me and tentatively snuggled in. A few moments passed, thick with silent tension. I slowly reached up and placed my hand on his chest and when his hand came up to cover mine, I let out my own thankful breath.

“You know it wasn’t you, right?” He didn’t answer my question, but I felt his chest stop moving, so I knew he’d heard me. I continued anyway. “I didn’t push you away, I was hiding myself from you. From everyone. Everything. It’s true that seeing you was difficult, but only because it ate at me that I was with a man when Marcus had his accident. Or, more to the point, that I wasn’t with him. Right after his death there was an enormous part of me that was eclipsed by guilt. As the guilt waned, rationality came back, and I understood, mostly, that it wasn’t my fault, but I still struggle with that sometimes.