Never Tied Down (The Never Duet #2)(17)

Again, I get it.

But I don’t like it.

So, I’m giving you fair warning. When I come in tomorrow, if I see you sitting here, I’m going to approach you. I’ll sit down and say hi, and you can respond however you’d like, but I hope you’ll talk to me, Kalli. If nothing else, I miss talking to you. We used to talk so often. I’m just asking to have a conversation with you.

If you don’t want this to happen, I suggest you find somewhere else to be invisible.

But I’ll find you there, too.

Love,

Riot



Shit.

I put the paper down, closing my eyes and leaning my head back to face the ceiling. If I was being really honest with myself, I knew this would happen. I knew coming to LA meant seeing Riot. I didn’t, however, think that he’d contact me in quite that manner. It was just like him though, putting my needs first and giving me an out. Kind of. He told me I could find another place to go, to not come back to that coffee shop, but that he’d eventually find me and make it happen.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that all along he’d just been biding his time.

That sent a shiver through me.

He couldn’t be dissuaded. He could be put off, but only until he was done waiting. I knew that.

I pulled out my phone, and in just moments I heard Megan’s voice on the other end.

“Kal, what’s up, lady?”

“I got a note from Riot.”

“What?” she asked, sounding genuinely shocked. “What did it say?”

“Basically, it says that he knows I’m here, and that he wants to talk to me, but he’ll give me more time if I need it.”

I expected at least something from Megan; she was rarely quiet. But all I got was thick silence.

“Meg? You there?”

“I think you should talk to him.” Her words were firm, but also hesitant. She knew her opinion was going to possibly rub me the wrong way.

I sighed. “I kind of figured you were going to say that.”

“Look at it this way, you might never be ready to talk to him. You might never feel ready. But he will wait forever. He will hang on to the hope of you until he breathes his last breath. And that’s not fair to him. So, if you’re not planning on talking to him, trying to work things out, at least tell him that much. Let him off the hook.”

The thought of Riot waiting for me, silently watching me, standing by until he thought I was ready for him, made something clamp tight around my heart. The thought of telling him to move on, telling him I’d never be his again, well, day after day that thought caused me pain.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to talk to him yet.”

“Do you think you’ll be ready soon?”

I shrugged then said, “Maybe.”

“Maybe,” she said with emphasis, “Riot is the one thing you need to move on completely.”

“I don’t know if you’re right,” I said slowly. “But I’m also not sure that you’re wrong.”

“When you see him, you’ll know.”

“You think?” I was hopeful. Even though I was unsure about seeing him, after months of being in the proverbial dark it would be nice to feel sure of something. Of anything.

“Is what you’re doing now working? Are you thinking of him any less? Is avoiding him, even though you’re in the same town, moving you forward? Listen,” she said, her voice suddenly softer. “You don’t have to jump back into a relationship with him. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. But seeing him, talking to him, perhaps even talking about Marcus, that might help you, sweetie.”

“Okay,” I said, my voice matching her softness. “You’re probably right.”

“I usually am,” she replied, her voice conveying the smile I knew was on her face.

“Your husband’s a saint,” I said, now laughing. “I don’t know how he puts up with you.”

“He totally is,” she agreed. Then she sighed. “Patrick knows what he’s got, and he knows he’s got it good. And I feel lucky to have him too. That doesn’t mean I’m wrong any less.”

“I want what you have.” My voice was suddenly a whisper. “I’ve wanted it for so long, Megs. I’ve just told myself it wasn’t possible, that it would end badly, that I would hold someone else down and then they’d leave, and I’d be even more broken than I was when I started.”

“Sweetie, I’m almost positive that Riot will give you whatever you want, but not if you keep hiding from him.” Then, as she had a tendency to do, she lightened the mood. “I only hide from Patrick when there’s some sort of sexual game going on, and even then I don’t hide well enough for him to not find me.”

I laughed, even as an errant tear slid down my face.

“What if I just end up pushing him away again?”

Megan let out a loud laugh. “Honey, you let Riot back in, there’s no way he’s going to let you push him away again. Not out of fear. Trust me, Kals. Just talk to him.”

“Okay,” I said, breathing the word out, hoping to push out some of the fear with it. “How is life in Portland?” I asked, trying to move the conversation away from me and the myriad of issues she and Ella were constantly helping me cope with.