Never Standing Still (The Never Duet #1)(59)
“I think, eventually, we will get to the point where the phone won’t be enough, and I won’t want to date someone so far away. I think that’s the natural path a relationship takes. Eventually, if you see this working out between us, we’ll have to figure out a way to be together.” He must have noticed the panic in my eyes, must have felt the breath that stalled in my lungs, because he started shushing me and running his hands over my body. “Don’t freak out, baby. That is so far away right now, I’m not trying to scare you.”
“I’m not worth all this,” I found myself saying. The words surprised even me, as I’d always been a pretty self-confident person. But in that moment, all I could think was that I wasn’t worth all the trouble he was going through, all the lonely nights and long phone calls. Eventually, he’d be done with me, anyway, right?
“Hey,” he said as he stood, pressing closer in to me. “Listen, you are worth it. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. And you don’t get to decide who I want to be with. If you decide you don’t want to be with me one day, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I’ll fight like hell before I’ll let you walk, but like I said, we’ll cross that bridge. But you don’t get to tell me who I love, or who’s worthy of my love. I give my love freely to you, because it belongs to you.”
I tried to nod but it was useless with his hands clasping me. “This is all just a little overwhelming.”
“What is?” His eyes were worried.
“Being here, with you. It’s just so right that going back to being away feels almost cruel, and I don’t want to hurt you. I want you to be happy, even if it’s without me.”
“You stubborn woman,” he said, laughing. “Isn’t that pretty much the definition of love? Wanting the other person to be happy, even if their happiness doesn’t involve you?”
I gave a pathetic nod again.
“Then let me love you, yeah?” he asked with a smile. I couldn’t help but smile back, and then his lips bent to mine. It was a softer kiss than we normally shared. He kissed me as if he were afraid I would break or crumble beneath his lips. He was being careful with me.
When he finally pulled away, I whispered, “I should probably go get Marcus ready for bed.”
“Okay,” he replied, only pulling far enough away to let his hands still linger on my face. “Anything I can do to help?”
“Show me where the bathroom is?”
“Easy. It’s the only other door in the hallway,” he said with a laugh. He led me out of the bedroom, showed me the bathroom, and then we walked into the living room to find Marcus lying on the couch watching TV.
“You ready for bed, Marky?” I asked, trying to sound upbeat after an emotional conversation.
“Can I watch TV while I’m in bed?”
“I’m okay with it, but you have to ask Riot.” Marcus’ eyes shot to him, giving him the biggest puppy dog eyes I’d ever seen.
“Listen, you get ready for bed fast and don’t give your sister any grief and I’ll let you order a movie. Deal?”
“Deal!” he practically shouted as he jumped up from the couch, digging in his duffle bag for his pajamas.
Fifteen minutes later, Marcus was lying on the couch Riot had pulled out into a bed, quietly watching a movie, completely satisfied with his lot in life at that moment.
“Good night, Marky. I’ll just be in the room down the hall if you need anything, okay?”
“Night, Kal,” was his only response so I figured he was all right. I did a mental check before leaving the living room: Marcus had the water bottle he liked to keep with him at night, the hallway light was on in case he woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t figure out where he was, and he had the one stuffed animal I’d agreed to let him bring, Scruffy the Squirrel, a ridiculous and mangy-looking stuffed squirrel that his dad had given him when he was about three. He’d looked out into the front yard and become fascinated with the squirrels running through it and my mom got so tired of listening to him talk about the squirrels, that my stepfather finally just went out and found one for him. He’d had it ever since and it was definitely one of those childhood possessions that made him panicky to be without. So, Scruffy was tucked up under one of his arms as he watched his movie and I let my fears subside, silently telling myself that Marcus would be okay for the night.
I returned to Riot’s bedroom and walked in to find him lying on his bed, looking at his phone.
“Whatcha doing?” I asked, as I reached for my bag.
“Halah sent me a text. Apparently she’s at a port and has a good signal, so she just updated all of us that she’s still alive and well.”
“Still living the good life on a cruise ship?”
“Apparently,” he sighed. “What are you up to?” he asked, one eyebrow raised in question.
“Would you mind if I showered? I always feel a little gross after a day of traveling.”
“Of course not. I think there are extra towels in the cupboard in the bathroom.”
“Thanks,” I said, leaning down and placing a small kiss on his mouth, then turning and feeling his hand slap me playfully on the ass. I yelped and then laughed, caught off guard. I shot a feigned look of annoyance over my shoulder, but really just swooned on the inside at the boyish grin across his face.