Never Standing Still (The Never Duet #1)(58)

“It’s okay, Marcus is a bit of a bed hog. I’ll stay with you, if that’s all right?” I asked, laughing. I saw his shoulders relax as he exhaled.

“All right.” He dropped Marcus’ bag on the floor next to the couch, then took my hand. “My room is back this way.” He led me down the narrow hallway through one of two doors. The room was tiny and just as bare as the rest of his apartment. He set my bag down on the bed and turned to me, his hands finding my waist. “I’m sorry about that out there. I didn’t want to just assume you’d be sleeping with me, and I didn’t know what was all right to say in front of Marky.”

My hands cupped the sides of his face, completely loving the way he not only thought about those sorts of things, but also that he used my brother’s nickname. “You’re fine, babe. He doesn’t think about those kinds of things. At least, I don’t think he does.” I rose up onto my toes, trying my damnedest to reach his lips with mine, but he had to lean down to reach me and we both laughed as our lips met each other’s.

His arms wrapped around me, lifting me, and we both breathed into the kiss. It was a relief to be in his arms; everything felt better when I was wrapped up in him.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he said against my mouth, backing up until his legs hit the bed. Then he sat and arranged me on his lap so I was straddling him.

“I’m happy to be here,” I mumbled in response, my body reacquainting itself with his, my hands running up along his arms and shoulders, back down his chest, over his ribs. His hands traveled quickly to my ass and stayed there, making me smile.

“Your apartment is a little sparse,” I noted as his mouth moved down my throat, kissing and licking his way to my collarbone.

“This is just some place the studio threw me for a few weeks. I can stay here if I want,” he said, then placed more wet kisses back up the other side of my neck. “But then I’d have to give up my apartment in San Francisco.”

“I’ve never even seen your place,” I said with a frown.

“I’ve got a few weeks there still if I choose to give it up. You’ll just have to come back soon.”

I saw in his eyes he was asking me more seriously than he was letting on. My heart both expanded and hurt at his words. There were times when we were apart where I missed him. It mostly came at night when I had time to lie in bed and think about him and how far away he was, but usually I wasn’t spending a lot of time lamenting the fact that we were apart. Perhaps it was because the whole relationship was new, or relationships in general were new to me, but I hadn’t gotten to a point where I was upset for missing him.

But as I sat there on his lap, with him, witnessing the look in his eyes, I wondered if he was happy with our situation, or if he was beginning to regret starting a long-distance relationship.

“Is this too hard for you?” I asked, apparently out of nowhere because Riot’s eyebrows rose and a confused look came over his face.

“What? You sitting on my lap?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head and moving away from him slightly. “This. Us. Is it too hard for you to be with me because of the distance?” I was asking because I was curious; I wanted to know if he was happy and I felt like it was my responsibility to make sure he was. He still wore a confused look. “I mean, like, do you miss being with someone regularly?”

“Are you asking if I miss having regular sex?” his voice was louder and his eyes narrowed even more.

I shrugged.

“Do you miss having regular sex?” he asked accusatorily.

“I was never having regular sex,” I defended, then climbed off his lap. The motion of getting off him seemed to offend him more than the question and he grabbed my hand, pulling me back toward him.

“Don’t go away, just stay here,” he said, bringing me right to his knees, which he spread and then brought me even closer. “Why are you asking me these questions?” Both his hands gripped both of mine, holding me close to him.

“You just seem like you missed me a lot,” I said, my voice meek and mousey.

“And…?”

“And it occurred to me that you might not have realized what you were signing up for when we decided to be exclusive.”

“I was only aware that I was signing up for you.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know what I mean.” I sighed.

“You don’t think I can handle a few weeks without sex? I don’t miss sex, Kal. I miss you. I don’t miss sex with random women, sex with women who are only there because they think I’m somebody famous, or going to be famous, or can introduce them to someone famous. When I think about you, and miss you, I’m not missing the sex. Sure, I think about sex, fantasize about it, but I don’t miss sex. I miss sex with you. I miss holding you while you sleep. I miss that perfect smile that comes across your mouth when you think of something funny, even if you don’t tell me what it is. I can’t see that on the phone, I can’t hold you through the phone. I can’t trace the freckles on your shoulders on the phone. I miss you, Kalli.”

“What if eventually it becomes too hard?”

“What do you mean? What kind of difficulties are you anticipating?”

“What if the phone isn’t enough? Or one day you decide you don’t want to date someone so far away anymore?”