Never Let You Go(61)

He looks alarmed. “Did you tell the police?”

“Yes, right away, but I can’t prove it was from Andrew, so they can’t arrest him. It’s so stupid. Who else could it be from?” Parker had sounded frustrated when she told me there were no prints on the CD case, but sympathy doesn’t change the facts.

“My offer still stands—you and Sophie are welcome to stay at my lake house, or if you don’t want to leave town, I have a couple of spare rooms.”

“I really appreciate the offer, but Greg is coming back Sunday.”

“Right. Are you looking forward to seeing him?”

Of course.” I’m puzzled by the question. Truth is, I haven’t thought about Greg much at all the last couple of days, but I don’t want to admit that.

“You don’t sound enthusiastic.”

I shrug, stir my coffee. “I’m just distracted.”

“Okay.” But he doesn’t sound like he believes me.

“What?”

“It’s nothing. I just get the feeling he’s pretty serious about you, but you already have one foot out the door.”

“Not at all. I like Greg a lot.” I’m flustered, my face hot. I hadn’t realized Marcus was studying my relationship, or how it might look from the outside. Maybe it is true and Greg’s feelings have grown faster and stronger than mine, but that’s not a bad thing. I’ll catch up. What we have is relaxing. “I don’t have to worry about him,” I say. “It’s easy.”

“Okay.” He reaches for his coffee.

“There’s that word again.”

“I’m sorry,” he says with a laugh. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“It’s a little late now. You might as well go all the way.” I’m joking like this is all in fun, just two good friends having a heart-to-heart. “You don’t like Greg?”

“It’s not that I don’t like him.”

“But you didn’t say that you do.”

“I just didn’t think he was your type.”

“So what’s my type?”

Our eyes meet, and hold. My chest muscles tighten, squeezing the air out of my lungs.

He glances down at his mug. “Hey, what do I know? It’s been years since I dated anyone,” he says. “I should have kept my mouth shut. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“Well, that’s good, because I’m happy.” Still, I feel a heavy, disappointed feeling spread over me, which is strange. What did I want him to say?

“Sorry if I stepped over the line.”

“No. You were just being honest. I appreciate your love advice, Doctor.” I give a small laugh, and glance up at the clock. He’s watching me, trying to see into my eyes, but I can’t meet his gaze. “I have to go,” I say. “Angus is waiting.”

“You sure you’re okay?”

I force my face into a smile. “I’m fine. Really. There’s just a lot going on right now.” I gather my purse and coat and walk toward the door. “Thanks for the coffee.”

I can feel him watch me trudge through the snow to my car, but I don’t look back.





CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE


SOPHIE



I wake slowly, my legs pinned to the bed, and kick out in panic. The weight moves and I hear Angus jump onto the floor with a loud thud, then sprawl across the carpet. I roll over and stare at the ceiling, blinking my eyes and yawning. Tonight is the party at Jared’s. It’s also the day my dad thinks I’m going over to his house. Why didn’t I just tell him I wasn’t going?

Because he didn’t give me a chance.

In the end I decided not to say anything to Mom about how he admitted he left the CD. The cops will have to figure it out on their own. I’m not going to turn in my own dad. It’s too weird and stressful. Maybe the party tonight will help. I need to blow off some steam. Or maybe the party is the problem. Jared and I have only been “together” for a few days. Is this like making it public? Will he want us to hang out with his friends all the time? I don’t have anything in common with those girls. They’re the beautiful happy crowd, where everyone lives in nice houses with two parents and they don’t have to worry about anything.

I think about canceling and saying I’m sick, but then remember what happened in his bedroom the last time I was there, and feel warm all over. It makes me think of yellow ochre, or maybe deep cadmium yellow. Something bright and beautiful and golden.

I want to kiss him again, but I’m nervous he might want to have sex and I don’t think I’m ready. It’s not like I want to be a virgin forever, but Delaney said it really hurts the first time. Nothing about that sounds fun. My phone vibrates on my night table. Jared.

Want to come over early and help set up?

I’m relieved about the idea of going over before the party. This way I won’t have to show up by myself—Delaney has gone skiing with her family.

K. What time?

Pick you up around 12?

This means we’ll be spending almost the whole day together. I’m excited, but scared, too. What if we find out we don’t like each other that much after all? I think it over, my thumb still hovering over the keyboard. Then I notice he’s typing again.