Never Have an Outlaw's Baby (Deadly Pistols MC #3)(34)

“Hey, there's some soda and coffee. Can I bring you boys something?”

“Black coffee,” Grandpa Taylor said quietly.

“Joker?” Gingerly, I reached out, trying not to feel horrible that I'd caused him to lay down his dead brother's name.

I couldn't think about that night. Jesus, I couldn't forget why I was really here, what was on the line, all out of some sick, misplaced sympathy for a man who had none for me.

“Water,” he growled, subtly shrugging me off by leaning down to fix his dog's collar.

I nodded and stepped over to the long table, keeping my ears perked up for their voices.

“You don't gotta be so damned surly all the time, Jackson. She's come a long way to see you. Let's not dig into the past again. Ain't bringing him back,” I heard the old man say.

“You think I don't know that?” Joker's voice was low, like thunder.

Bingo let out a tiny whine as I turned around with a tray full of drinks. Just in time to see Joker grab his grandfather's hand, pure death shining in his eyes.

“Jackson...”

“Don't f*ckin' call me that here, old man. I'm Joker 'til the job's done. Promised Freddy I'd kill the sick f*cks who did him in, and I'm going to, real goddamned soon. I'm keeping my promises, just like you wanted.”

Grandpa Taylor tore his hand away from him, shaking a little when I put the tray on the table. “It's all here, boys. Enjoy.”

I sipped my orange soda quietly, trying to make small talk about the dog, and failing the whole time. Grandpa guzzling his coffee down, without waiting for it to cool, told me the visit was nearing its end.

“Okay,” he said, putting down his empty cup. “Think it's time I got some rest before the real bingo starts up tonight. Pleasure meeting you, Summer. Joker, wheel me back, and take the lady out for a real drink. Life's too damned short to spend it not having any fun.”

So much truth from the tough old man. Too bad I was in no position to take it to heart.

“Meet me out by the bench,” I said to Joker. “I'll be waiting.”

He nodded, wrapping the dog's leash around his hand while he pushed the old man. I watched the three of them head down the hall, finishing my soda before I collected the cups.

Then I sat down at the bench and waited. I thought about what I'd say, bounced around a dozen openers. None of them left me feeling better.

I had to let it happen. I couldn't let him walk away this time, or I'd be letting down Alex, and myself.

Time to make it or break it.



*

“Tell me why the f*ck you're really here,” Joker growled, standing over my shoulder. “Couldn't have made it f*ckin' clearer after yesterday, mucking up your shit.”

Bingo stood at his side, his mouth open, breathing loudly. Blissfully unaware.

I stood up, looked him dead in the eye, clenching my purse. “I came all the way from Georgia to talk, Joker. I'm not leaving until we do. Go ahead and push me down on the sidewalk if you have to. I'll get back up and I'll be at your doorstep again tomorrow.”

He snorted. “Fucking-A, you've really lost it, Summertime...”

That name again. Goddamn, that name.

It took everything I had not to break eye contact, my heart doing a full, painful loop in my chest, blurring past and present.

“I lost my best friend,” I said, stepping toward him. “Look, I know my odds. They're crap. But I'll die if I don't try to get him back.”

“You really want him back, babe? That's what you came all the f*ckin' way from Seddon for? Why didn't you say so sooner?” He stepped closer, his voice softening.

My heart leaped into my throat. We hadn't shared this closeness, this intensity, for three lonely summers. The way he looked at me took me back to those hot nights when we'd made Alex, the son he didn't know he had.

The bitter lump in my throat tightened. There couldn't be something there, shining in his eyes...right? And if there was, then why the f*ck was I letting the Deadhands use me to get to him and his club?

“I just...I mean...I want...” I stuttered, completely lost for words, not knowing what I wanted anymore.

“You don't know what the hell you want.” Joker put one hand against my cheek, tipped it up, thumbing the corner of my lips. “Don't f*ckin' talk, baby girl. Pucker up. Let's see if there's anything left in this f*ckin' chasm I used to call a heart.”

His finger brushed aside. His mouth came down on mine, hot and rampant.

Moaning, I melted into his tongue, twining mine with his for the first time in an eternity.

This kiss devoured worlds. I forgot all about the brutal threats, the pain, the loss.

For the next minute, there was nothing except Jackson and me.

Two lips.

Two tongues.

Two hearts.

One pulse, the one and only synchronized rhythm pounding in his flesh. It didn't stop until Bingo brushed up against our legs, and then I looked down, smiling.

This kiss was beautiful. And it was also very dangerous bullshit.

“There. How was that?” he whispered softly, running his hand down my cheek, stopping at the end to clutch my chin.

“Just like old times,” I said weakly, staring at him, one hand on his neck to hold me up. The other hung at my side, being gingerly licked by the giant wolfhound. “What about you?”