Never Far Away (The Never #2)(6)
“We’ll talk later. I will be at the coffee shop,” he said with conviction.
“Ok then. You had better leave before she comes back.”
“See you at six.” He turned around and left Poppy, wondering how, after all these months of being away from her, it was possible to walk away from her again. It hurt physically. His chest ached, and his head felt light and dizzy. He had no idea where their meeting would take them or what he would have to reveal to her, but anything was better than being kept from her indefinitely.
It was five minutes until six and Porter waited at the coffee shop, hoping that Ella would still show up. He also hoped that it would be just Ella, that Megan hadn’t gotten word of their meeting and decided to tag along to make sure he kept his word. He watched as people walked past the coffee shop’s front window, not really paying much attention to anyone in particular until one couple caught his eye. The man and woman walked hand in hand, both smiling and laughing. The man stopped, pulled the woman back into his arms, and said something into her ear as his arms wrapped around her waist. His eyes dropped away from them and looked down at the table, not wanting to intrude on their personal moment but also wanting to avoid the dark feelings that usually came over him when confronted with people happily in love.
“Hello, Porter.” Her sweet voice flooded his senses and made everything in the room look brighter. Hearing her say his name again, as surreal as it was, made a little bit of his tension float away.
“Hello, Ella,” he said as he looked up to her.
“So, you do know my name,” she said giving him a questioning look.
“Yes, I know your name and you know mine.”
“Interesting, isn’t it?” she said, but then paused and looked towards the counter. “I’m going to get a tea. Do you want anything?”
“No, but please let me get the tea.” She nodded at him and sat down in the chair across from him.
“Peppermint, please,” she said with an unsure smile. He went to the counter and ordered her tea and smiled because he had learned something new about her; she liked peppermint tea. He brought the steaming cup back to the table, carefully set her cup down in front of her, and took a seat in the chair he vacated.
“So, Porter, tell me how you know me.” Her eyes burned into his. She was looking at him so fiercely and he found it a little difficult to even form words.
“I don’t really know where to begin. Why don’t you tell me how you know who I am?” He tried to stall.
“I heard you talking to me when I was waking up in the hospital.” Her voice was small and quiet, and she looked down at her cup of tea, seemingly avoiding his eyes. Porter worked hard to make it seem like her words hadn’t affected him. And then he proceeded to run through his mind what he could have possibly said to her as she was waking up that had stuck with her that entire time.
“What did you hear?” He asked softly.
“I heard a man, you, tell me that I was beautiful. Then you kissed me and told me that you weren’t going anywhere.” She looked up at him, saying his words back to him, staring him straight in the eye. Her eyes begged him to confess, to tell her that he was that man. He was torn. If he opened this door, there would be no going back. He would never be able to un-tell her. For better or worse, she would know the truth. The decision became easy in a moment of clarity. Of course she deserved the truth. If he owed her anything, it was the honesty of what had happened between them. Whether or not she would ever remember, or whether or not she would feel anything for him ever again, he could never lie to her. “It was you, wasn’t it?” She asked him one last time and it shred the last piece of his resistance to tell her.
“Yes. That was me.” The rush of her breath was audible and it made an invisible fist squeeze his heart.
“You loved me. I heard it in your voice. I felt it when you kissed me.” She whispered fiercely, her words spitting out at him. “You told me you weren’t going anywhere, and then you left and I never heard your voice again.” She breathed hard and Porter wanted nothing more than to reach across the table and take her hand. But he knew now wasn’t the time. Mostly, he wanted to correct her. She assumed he didn’t love her anymore, but nothing was farther from the truth. His love for her was bigger and more encompassing than ever. It was engrained in him now, a part of his make-up. Loving her was just as necessary as breathing for him. He didn’t do it only by choice; he did it for survival. “Only that’s not true. I’ve heard your voice every day since. I hear your voice in my sleep, while I’m awake. I listened to every voice I’ve heard hoping that I would find out who you are. Now that I have, I can’t figure out if I am happy to have solved the mystery or royally pissed off at you for disappearing. I guess I am leaning towards the latter.”
“You have to believe me that leaving you was never my decision or even my choice. I never wanted to leave you. Everyone thought it was in your best interest, for you to heal.”
“That’s bullshit,” she said flatly. Porter laughed, glad to see she was still the spitfire he remembered.
“I agree.”
“How do you know me?” She asked again, with more insistence this time. He took a deep breath in and, just like jumping in a cold pool on a hot summer’s day, he knew it was going to sting and be uncomfortable but hoped the end result would be a relief.