Never Doubt Me: Judge Me Not #2(45)

He holds out the phone. I put my hand on it but don’t take it right away.

He glances up. “What?”

“How long have you been planning on having someone f*ck up this guy?” I want to know.

“Hey, he’s owed me money for a while now,” Kyle says defensively. “I’ve been exceptionally patient, trust me.”

“Whatever.”

I grab the phone and take a look at the photo. The guy looks pretty strung out. He’s pale and gaunt, with long, stringy blond hair covering part of his face. Even so, it’s clear he’s hitting a pipe in the picture.

“He looks like a real winner,” I say to Kyle as I nod to his pipe that’s still on the table.

“Fuck you, Gartner,” he spits. “Just get this shit done.”

Kyle starts to get up, like we’re done here. But he’s not calling all the shots.

“Not so fast.” I shove him back down to the couch. “I’ll do this for you, but we’re doing it on my terms, my timetable.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means I’m waiting till at least Friday night to talk to him.”

“That’s three f*cking days away,” Kyle protests.

“Too f*cking bad. I need to make sure you’re holding up your end of the bargain. I already checked Will’s room, and I know he doesn’t have any drugs at the moment. So, if I see him staying clean the next few days, I’ll assume you’re keeping your word and not selling to him.”

“Okay,” Kyle agrees, albeit reluctantly. “I guess that’ll work for me. But what am I supposed to do if your brother stops by with that Jared kid? That’s who he’s always with. And before you ask me not to sell to Jared, just know that rich boy buys all the time. He’s a consistent customer, and you’d be stepping on lucrative business if you have a problem with me selling to him, too.”

“I don’t care about Jared,” I honestly state. “But anything my brother asks for, you tell him you’re out of it.”

Kyle agrees to my terms, and I get the f*ck out of his house. There’s something about Tanner’s place that triggers the part of me that craves drugs. Spending time at his place makes me want to get spun right the f*ck out of my head. And that’s not good. So I take a breath and squash that shit down before I head back to the house.

On the way home, I decide it’s probably best to keep my brother away from Jared for now. I hate to f*ck up his new friendship, but I feel a little pressed. I, at least, want Will away from Jared until Friday.

But a short while later, when I announce to Will that he’s not allowed to see Jared until I say so, he’s beyond livid.

“That is so f*cked up,” he yells, before he storms up the steps. “You think I don’t make my own decisions?” he yells down from the top.

“Jared’s a bad influence,” I yell back from the bottom of the steps.

Will calms slightly, and offers in a placating tone, “What if I promised not to touch any drugs, no matter who I hang with. Could I hang out with Jared then?”

“I don’t know,” I respond. “Maybe.”

Will stomps off, and I turn to Kay, who has witnessed the whole exchange. Her eyes meet mine, sympathetic.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” I admit. “It’s not like there’s some rulebook.”

“You’re doing the best you can,” she says.

My sweet girl is so accepting of my decisions, so unwaveringly supportive. She knows I talked to Kyle, but she has no idea I made a deal with that devil so he won’t sell my brother drugs anymore.

And though here’s my chance to tell Kay, to come clean now, I don’t say a thing.



Three days pass, and since my brother remains drug-free, I consider loosening up on the no-hanging-with-Jared rule. Will pleads his case a few more times, too. He insists his decision to stay away from drugs is solid, no matter what happens or whom he hangs around with.

I inform Will I’m still thinking it over.

Meanwhile, the time comes for me to hold up my end of the bargain I made with Kyle Tanner.

Around nine thirty on Friday night, I am striding toward the front door, as stealthily as I can. No one knows I’m heading out. Kay is in the kitchen, cleaning up after a late dinner.

Unfortunately, she hears me in the front hall and catches me by the door.

“I thought I heard something,” she says, the dish towel she was using to dry the dishes still in her hand.

She glances to where my hand is on the doorknob.

“Where are you going?” she asks, frowning. “It’s almost ten o’clock.”

“Uh…” I drop my hand to my side. “I have something I gotta do, babe.” I lean her way and deposit a light peck on her cheek. “I promise I won’t be gone long, though.”

I start to turn away from her, but she grabs my arm. “What are you doing, Chase? You didn’t say a word all evening about having to go out tonight.”

I glance toward the stairs. Will is up in his room, listening to music. The low bass beat fills the heavy silence around us.

Kay glances to where my eyes are focused on the stairs, and says, “This…your leaving…it has something to do with Will, doesn’t it?”