Never Doubt Me: Judge Me Not #2(40)

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

Since I have my brother talking, I ask, “Where’d you go tonight? Who gave you the booze and weed?”

Will glances at me, then returns to staring at the ceiling. “We went to a party,” he says offhandedly. “Just some dude Jared kind of knows.”

“Will…” I blow out a breath. “Look, I know you’re not a child. But I can’t have you staying here and going out partying. No one even knew where you ran off t—”

“Bro,” Will cuts me off, “it’s not like I was at some stranger’s house. The guy who was having the party said he knew you.”

Will eyes me now, his stare penetrating, asking the question of whether I’ve been the one lying here. Even though I’m pretty f*cking sure I know whose house my little brother was partying in tonight, I still feel compelled to ask, “Who was this guy? Where was his house?”

“It was in some shitty part of town,” Will replies, making my chest tighten. “Jared said the house belongs to some guy named Kyle.”

I close my eyes and count to ten. I need to count to something more like three hundred if calming down is the goal.

“Christ, Will, stay the f*ck away from Kyle Tanner.”

His bleary eyes narrow. “Ha, so you do know him.”

“Yeah, I know him, all right.”

Will shoots me a curious glance.

“From a long f*cking time ago, okay?” I add.

“Not what he said, bro.”

“Oh yeah?” Now I’m getting pissed. “And just what did that prick have to say?”

“He said you were at his house just a couple of Fridays ago, said you smoked with him. Some girl told me you went upstairs with Kyle that night. She said Kyle only goes up to the bathroom when he’s cutting coke.” Will eyes me up and down. “You lecture me all the time about drugs,” he snorts. “And, all the while, you’re still using.”

Fucking Kyle and his big-mouth party friends. What am I supposed to tell Will? The night my brother is referring to is the night he blew me off, the night he was supposed to come to Ohio. I did smoke that night, I can’t deny it. But I didn’t touch the cocaine. I came close, true, but I stopped before it ever went up my nose.

I take a breath and tell Will the truth.

“So you really didn’t touch the coke?” he asks disbelievingly, like he knows how much of a hold that shit used to have over me.

Wow, that shit saddens me. Though I made every attempt in the past to keep my heavy drug use from my brother, he obviously knew all along just how deeply involved I was. And he knew enough to ascertain cocaine was my biggest demon. He’s mentioned it before, but tonight I get that he actually always knew how bad off I was.

My eyes meet my brother’s. “Yeah, Will, this time, I really didn’t touch the coke.”

My brother then breaks my heart a little when he sighs and says, “I’ve done it, you know.”

“Coke?” I croak out.

He nods. “Yeah, once… No, actually, I tried it twice.”

“Fuck, Will.” I shake my head.

“I didn’t do any tonight, if that’s what you’re thinking. I could have. It was there. But the two times I tried it was back in Vegas. Once, I did it with Cass, and the other time, I snorted some at a party.”

My brother is fifteen years old and snorting cocaine with his girlfriend, and at parties. I have to try to talk some sense into him. Maybe I’ll get through to him, maybe I won’t, but I have to try.

“Will,” I begin, “no matter what you do, you absolutely have to stay away from coke. That shit will f*ck you up, you and Cassie both. Whatever you think is bad now, it will be a million times worse when you start adding cocaine to the equation.”

“Well, Cassie didn’t like it,” Will says. “So she’s done with it. And I wasn’t all that impressed with it, either. But even if I try it again, I’d never let myself get under it.”

Will is such an innocent in so many ways. He has no f*cking clue.

“It doesn’t work like that. I know you’re young and want to try things. But you’re going to end up with less than what you started with if you start messing with hard drugs. I’ve been there, kid, you know I have. I know what I’m talking about.”

Will solemnly nods. “I know, Chase, I know.”

“So?” I prompt.

“So, okay, I’ll stay away from the hard shit.”

“Promise?”

Will promises, but his eyes skitter away so quickly that I have to wonder if he’ll be keeping his promise for long.

All I can do is hope and pray that my brother doesn’t succumb to the same demons that robbed me of four years of my life.





Chapter Eight


Kay


The morning following Chase’s brother’s evening of revelry, I feel like I am the one who was out partying the night before. But for tired as I feel, it doesn’t come close to how exhausted Chase appears to be as I drive us in to work.

Poor guy, he was up half the night with his brother. Chase didn’t come to bed until an hour before we had to get up. He couldn’t really sleep, so we talked. He told me seeing Will messed up like that hit a little too close to home. Since he was so tired, I decided not to question him about where he was yesterday when I couldn’t get a hold of him. And, once again, I choose not to ask him now. He’s had a rough enough past twelve hours.