Nemesis(18)

“Jacinta—”

“And you waited until after we f*cked to clarify this?” I question, pursing my lips.

Waited until I crave him. And boy, do I crave him.

Can I do this without getting any more emotionally involved than I already am? I shut down the stupid voice inside of my head saying that maybe I’ll be the exception to the rule. I think that voice is my ego, and it needs to shut the f*ck up right now, because that idea isn’t going to end well.

“I need time to think about this,” I tell him, my mind exploding.

“Okay,” he says, kissing my cheek. “I like you, Jacinta. I don’t see why we can’t just have some fun together, enjoy the present. Not everything in life needs to be taken so seriously, you know? And with me, you know what you get.”

The answer to that would be ‘not fidelity.’

Cohen leaves my house, and I sit down and binge-eat the Chinese food he brought. The scary part of this whole thing is my first thought about it all: What kind of woman does it make me if I agree to this?

Does it make me not a good woman, because I’d consider casual sex with a man who is sleeping with others? Immoral?

Maybe I can f*ck him out of my mind.

Am I actually considering it?

I’m not saying no, which means I’m not ruling it out.

Fuck me.

I am.





Chapter Nine


Work the next day has a completely different vibe than the day before. Yesterday was hopeful and positive, while today is dark and realistic. Cohen is not like the men I read about in romance novels. He didn’t come to find me and fall in love with me; we don’t get a happily ever after. What I do get, though, is hot, steamy sex and multiple orgasms with a man who looks like he belongs on the cover of one of those novels, and that’s going to have to be enough for me if I want to do this with him. I’m wearing all black today, a pencil skirt and a tight top with red lipstick. Cohen stops in his tracks when he sees me, slowly approaching, like he’s not sure what to expect.

“Good morning,” he greets, glancing over me. “You look beautiful today.”

“Thank you,” I say. Flattery will get him everywhere. “Are you here for lunch today?”

He nods, eyes widening ever so slightly. “I am.”

“Can we talk then?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Course. I’m actually surprised, I have to admit.”

“That I want to talk to you?”

“Yeah.” He winces. “Last night didn’t go so well, did it?”

“Not for me,” I mutter, making him chuckle.

“Fuck, I’m sorry? Jacinta. I really do like you, and I don’t want to disappoint you, but I can’t change who I am.”

“We’ll talk at lunch,” I say, wanting him to squirm a little, or at least his version of it. Let him wonder for the rest of the morning what I’m going to say to him, he deserves it.

“Okay,” he says, nodding once. He walks into his office and shuts the door, and I sigh. I know there’s no winning this with him; he’s obviously emotionally unavailable, and I’m not. He has these rules he’s set for himself, and he’s going to follow them. So I either have to abide by them, or let him go.

I want him though.

I sound like a f*cking brat, but I do.

I want him.

And I’m going to have him.

*****

Cohen looks extremely suspicious as I tell him that I still want to keep sleeping with him.

“Are you sure?” he asks, second-guessing everything, I think. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Should have thought about that before you made me like you and gave me the best sex of my life,” I tell him, being honest and straightforward as one can be. “I want you. I want to sleep with you again. I guess we can just do the ‘friends with benefits’ thing, yeah?”

“I know I’ve been selfish as f*ck coming after you,” he admits, reaching over and taking my hand. “You deserve better than me. I know that too, all right.” He pauses, then grins devilishly. “I’m glad you enjoyed the sex, and I can’t wait to be inside you again. You just need to tell me if your emotions or feelings get in the way, okay? Because then we need to stop.”

Who says it’s my emotions that are going to get in the way?

Okay, it probably will be, but I can be an ice queen with the best of them. I find myself wanting to figure Cohen out though. Why is he so scared to get attached, or to have anyone get attached to him? My bet is ex-girlfriend issues. That’s what I’ve found it usually is.

“I’ll be sure to tell you if I get to the point where I want to threaten any other woman you look at,” I joke, rolling my eyes. “Just sex, right?”

“Yeah, but I mean it’s not like I don’t care about you,” he says, rubbing his thumb along my knuckles. “Saying it’s just sex sounds so cold. It’s just us enjoying each other without all the labels and ideals modern society forces upon us.”

All I hear is ‘it’s just sex,’ but I let him have his speech. Whatever helps him sleep at night.

“Are you going to come over tonight then?” I ask, glancing at him from under my lashes. I’m just going to enjoy the time we have together. Why not, hey? It’s not every day a man who looks like this wants me as badly as I want him, even if it is only temporary.