My Sister's Bones(92)

I shake my head furiously.

‘No,’ I say. ‘I don’t want to see her.’

‘She said she had something to tell you,’ says Lipton. ‘She’s in Ward Three. It’s up to you. Whatever you feel is best. Goodbye, Ms Rafter. We’ll be in touch.’

She’s lying in the bed while a female police officer sits on a plastic chair by the door. The police officer nods as I walk in and Fida looks up. Her face has been cleaned up but she still doesn’t look good.

‘Hello,’ I say as I reach the bed.

She nods her head drowsily.

‘Thank you for coming,’ she says. ‘Sit down.’

‘I’m not staying long,’ I reply.

‘Please,’ she says, gesturing to a chair.

‘Okay, just for a few minutes,’ I say, sitting down.

‘I’m sorry about your sister,’ she says.

‘Are you?’

‘Of course,’ she says. ‘I should never have got her involved. I should have just called the police.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ I say. ‘I begged and pleaded with you to tell me. I could have helped you.’

‘I wanted to,’ she says, wiping her eyes with the thin blanket. ‘And I almost did. But then one night Paul came to the house. He said you’d told him I’d been speaking to you. He beat me. Little David tried to stop him and he ended up getting a fist in his face. It was terrifying. I thought he was going to kill us.’

She stops and blows her nose with a tissue.

‘Later that night,’ continues Fida, ‘when Paul had left, I told David to go and find you; to ask for your help. He was scared but I told him to be brave, that you weren’t a monster. Paul used to tell him the world was full of evil people, to stop him running away. But I told him you were kind. That your name was Kate and you’d help us.’

‘But he couldn’t find me?’

‘No, he did,’ she says. ‘But he said you were asleep in a chair and when he tried to wake you, you screamed at him. He was so scared he ran away.’

I shiver as I recall the blood on my hands and face. Little David’s blood. Why did I take those stupid pills? If I hadn’t been so reliant on them then Sally would still be here. I remember Fida coming to the door with a cut on her face the following night, the night I was arrested. And David staring up at me from the rose patch with a black eye. All because I’d asked Paul about his tenants.

I stand up from the chair. I need to get out of here now. I need to mourn my sister properly.

‘I’m sorry, Fida,’ I say. ‘For everything you’ve been through.’

I take a notepad and pen out of my bag and scribble my phone number on to it.

‘Here,’ I say, handing it to her. ‘If you need me for anything at all, call me on this number.’

Her eyes fill with tears as she holds the paper to her chest.

‘Oh,’ she gasps. ‘Oh, that would be . . .’

She starts to sob.

‘Shh,’ I whisper. ‘It’s all over now. He can’t hurt you any more. You’ll get through this, okay?’

She looks up at me and nods.

‘I’m sorry, Kate,’ she says. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘I know you are.’

I nod to the policewoman and make my way out. When I get to the door I look back. Fida has curled up on her side. She is still holding the piece of paper, clutching it to her chest like a sleeping child.





47


My head feels like it will burst as I make my way down the corridor. The artificial heat in the hospital clings to my skin. I need to breathe fresh air for just a few moments before I go back and find Hannah and David.

I walk through the hospital reception area towards the exit. Light is coming, the muted, marine light of dawn, and I damn the sun as it slowly emerges beyond the wide glass automatic doors.

I stand outside for a moment, wishing I was a smoker so that I could do something with my trembling hands. And then I see him, a dark figure, waving his arms as he weaves through parked cars.

‘No,’ I whisper as his face comes into focus.

He can’t be here. It is impossible.

‘Kate.’

I blink my eyes to make sure this isn’t another of my visitations but he is real.

He is here.

‘Chris.’

He comes towards me and holds my hand.

‘Oh, Kate,’ he says. ‘I’m so happy to see you.’

‘What are you doing here?’ I ask as we stand motionless, two damaged souls in front of a hospital full of hundreds more.

I feel his breath on my face, inhale his cedarwood scent, and it’s all I can do to stop myself from grabbing hold of his arms and losing myself completely in him. But instead I allow him to kiss my cheek before breaking away and standing as before. Two people, two separate lives.

‘I saw it on the news,’ he says, putting his hands into the pockets of his smart woollen coat. ‘And I couldn’t believe it. I had to see for myself. I’ve been beside myself . . . and then suddenly there you were. It was like . . . a miracle.’

‘My sister is dead,’ I tell him. ‘I couldn’t save her.’

‘I know,’ he says quietly. ‘It’s all over the news. I’m so sorry, Kate.’