Moth(59)

I don’t sit her down in the living room. The first thing that needs to be done is to get that wound cleaned and her body temperature back up. I manage to carry her to the upstairs bathroom where I turn on the piping hot water and stick her under the spray. Her teeth continue to chatter and she’s got her arms wrapped around the front of her chest for extra warmth. I stand with her, rubbing her sides and holding her close. It’s not my intention to appear forgiving. I’m not doing this so we can make up and pretend we’re going to be anything more than enemies. Right now my only concern is making sure she’s warm and patched up. We can hash out the rest afterwards.

It’s only a few minutes before her body begins to relax. I look into those eyes that continue to draw me and speak softly in order to keep the peace. “I’m going to duck down and make sure the wound is clean. If you try to kick me again I’ll take you down faster than you can blink. Can you be nice?”

She nods.

I squat down and take a look at her wound. It’s still bleeding, but not gushing. There are no pieces of debris that I can see. I run a rag over the area and she sucks in a deep breath like it hurts. I’m careful when I repeat it the second time, making sure I’m not using pressure. When I’m confident it’s the cleanest it can get, I stand and shut off the water before helping her into a towel and hobble into the bedroom.

She’s sitting on the bed wrapped up, her hair soaking wet, which reminds me of the way she was earlier when we were f*cking like wild animals. My dick reacts at the thought and I shake it off. It’s important to stay focused and not let what we’ve done mess with my head.

I hurry back into the bathroom and find Band-Aids, peroxide and even some antiseptic. When I kneel in front of her she seems calm. I open the peroxide bottle and look at her to make sure she’s ready. “This is going to sting.”

She manages a worried look. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

I pour it over the large gash watching as it bubbles immediately. She’s cringing, but managing to keep still while I dab the area dry. Before applying a bunch of Band-Aids, I rub antiseptic over the wound and blow on it to help relieve the burn.

By this time she’s relaxed. She remains on the mattress when I get out of my wet clothes and finally sit beside her and put my hands on my knees. “We’re in a pretty f*cked up predicament, Nina. Until I can figure out what I’m going to do I need you to promise no more bullshit ideas. You don’t kill me and I won’t kill you.”

I turn to peer into those tantalizing eyes and see nothing but emptiness. “I don’t think I’m capable of hurting you. I’ve had plenty of opportunities before tonight. If I wanted you dead I would have done it when I had the chance.”

“I don’t know whether to be grateful or pity you for being a coward.”

“This isn’t about being scared. I’ve used my service weapon before.”

“On an innocent victim?”

She shakes her head. “No. He wasn’t innocent.”

“There’s a difference. You were taught right from wrong. You can’t pull the trigger because you know I’m one of the good guys. Whether you like it or not I’m invested in this case.”

“I didn’t kill Jamie.”

“You could have reached out to me.”

“If I did it would breach my cover.”

“Well that obviously went to shit.”

“He was a nice guy; your brother. You have the same smile.”

I stand. “Don’t go there with me.”

“Moth, wait.” I don’t listen and keep walking. “Agent Douglas.”

I freeze in place. She’s done her homework. “Please don’t go. I wasn’t faking. I know you don’t believe me, but I’ve developed feelings for you I can’t shake. I don’t expect you to return them, but I want you to know I’m not capable of hurting you. For the first time in forever you reminded me what it was like to feel something again. Whatever happens next I want you to know that.”

I close the door when I exit and stand on the other side fighting with my heart. I’m not a fool. What we shared was mutual. We were both on the same page, whether we were lying to each other or not. Something made her refrain from pulling the trigger, and if she’s telling the truth I’m going to have to figure out what I have to do to save her life.





Chapter 19


I can hear Nina crying in the bedroom from downstairs. I’ve decided to keep my distance on account of her f*cking with my head. I’m not the kind of man to talk about emotions like a little bitch would do. I keep my feelings bottled up for a reason, so the fact that I can’t control them is screwing with my ability to rationalize. I can’t think straight. I’m f*cked up beyond recognition and I know until I figure out why neither of us are safe.

I’m not real sure what time my body gives in and I fall asleep, but I wake to the sound of Nina sniffling and she’s too close for comfort. Sitting on the floor in front of the sofa where I lay she’s staring at me. My eyes stay focused on Nina as her fingers come up and brush the side of my cheek. “I don’t want to fight with you, Moth. I can’t sleep,” she whispers.

“Not my problem,” I mumble before flipping over to face in the opposite direction.