Moth(41)

I nod and bring one hand up to her waist. I’m not exactly holding her, but more so letting her know I’m not a statue. This is everything I want, and nothing I should have. She’s the enemy. She’s had a target on her back from the moment she came into my life. I can’t do this. I can’t throw caution to the wind, can I? Will I be able to come back from this? Will it solve anything?

“Won’t this complicate things more?”

“Do you still want to touch me, Moth? Do you want to f*ck me?”

I swallow the lump in my throat and disregard the misconceptions I’m fighting against. “That’s not the right question.”

“What then?” Her hand travels down the center of my shirt. As she scrapes the fabric I can feel my dick reacting.

“I wouldn’t be standing here if I didn’t want you. The question remains, is this what you want?”

Her face turns to despair. I recognize it from years of seeing people miserable and desperate for reprieve. “The moment I walked out of that apartment with you I knew my life was probably over. You don’t know the people I’ve gotten myself involved with. They’re relentless. I’ve gone against their wishes and now I’ll pay the consequences. I’m unable to fulfill their requests. I can’t be the person they need. It’s hopeless. I had my chance at redemption. I had one opportunity to make things right, but I couldn’t follow through. I refuse. Everything changed the first time you kissed me.”

I reach for her arm and latch onto it as I speak. “You’re being ridiculous. You sound like you’re in a movie with mobsters and ninjas. You’re a college student. You have a promising future. We can have this person arrested for messing with your car. Let the police take care of them so you can stop being afraid.”

She’s shaking her head. “I wish it were that easy, Moth. You see what I want you to see. I’m playing a part in a bigger plan. I’m a pawn, and the move I’ve just made could be game changing. They won’t approve.”

I begin waving my hands around. “This is ridiculous. Just tell me why, Who is chasing you? Who wants you dead? Is it a thug? Was your brother into drugs or something?” I have a good idea who the culprit is, but I can’t be sure until it escapes her lips.

“The less you know the safer you’ll be.” Tears fill her eyes. “I’m standing here naked in front of you begging you to be with me, so please stop asking questions and do something about it. Please. Help me remember the person I used to be, before I get lost in this madness I’ve surrounded myself with.”

I look away, clenching my jaw and contemplating right from wrong. “I can’t be what you need, Windy.”

“Don’t call me that. Please. Don’t say that name to me anymore.”

“Why? What the hell should I call you?”

She doesn’t hesitate. “Anything. I want you to call me any name but Windy.”

“You don’t like your name?” I already know it’s not her real name. She’s letting me in, and all I can do is notice how much more it draws me to her. “Why?”

“I used to be someone else.” She puts both hands on my chest and stares into my eyes. “Listen to me, Moth. After tonight you’re never going to see me again. That’s the only promise I can make to you. Now, I’m not going to tell you anything else for your own safety, so I guess you have a choice to make. Stay here, take off your clothes and spend the night with me, or walk out the door and forget we ever met. The latter is the smart choice, although I’m hoping you decide on the first one. I don’t want to think about tomorrow. I need to remember what it’s like to be normal without a target on my back.”

I want to tell her the truth, who I am and how I can save her, but breaking protocol for someone who won’t be honest is asking for trouble. If she thinks I’m going to f*ck her and leave she’s got another thing coming. She’s not like my conquests in the past. She needs me, and I am determined to prove I can be the one to bring her out of the darkness.

I squat down and pick up the towel, wrapping it around her shivering body. I can tell she’s offended, not that I pay her any mind. My hands take hold of her arms and pull her close to me again. Her body is resting against mine. She’s silent and still. Then finally, I feel her hugging the back of me. She’s crying harder and I let it happen. Sex won’t make her feel better. “I’m sorry. I never should have let you into my life.”

“I’m here because I want to be. I’ll keep you safe, beautiful.”

She moves back abruptly and glares at me with a lost face that only makes me eager to please. “Thank you.”

I lift her chin and trace those puffy lips with my thumb. “Don’t thank me yet. It’s taking everything I have in me to refrain from carrying you to that bed and showing you how to forget about the world around us.”

Her lips come closer to mine. She’s on her toes to make it easier. I don’t resist this, even though it solves nothing. I keep promising myself it will just be sex, but I know damn well it’s more than that. She’s gotten to me. She’s done something no other woman has been able to do. She’s breached my wall and piece by piece it’s falling apart.

“I can’t promise you tomorrow.” She takes my hand and starts walking toward the bed. When she turns to me again we’re so close I can feel her breathing against my face. The towel falls again as she reaches her warm hands up my back in order to pull me. Her kiss is soft and composed, while I’m coming undone. She breaks our embrace and backs up on the bed, revealing everything to me. This isn’t like seeing it on a computer screen. This show is for me. She’s seducing me with emotions. It’s a wicked game she obviously knows how to play. On the other hand she’s giving me bread crumbs. She’s somewhat admitted she’s not Windy. It’s a huge breakthrough and I want to reward her for it. I want to show her my gratitude for trusting me with such a big piece of the puzzle without leading on what it means for the case.