Moonlight's Ambassador (Aileen Travers Book 3)(60)

His gaze turned back to what was outside the window, the expression on his face turning distant. "It was a different time. Magic was the same thing as evil. My family wouldn't have welcomed me back home. They would have tried to stake me and drag me out to meet the sunlight—for the good of my soul."

Put that way, my problems with my mother didn't seem so dire.

"My mother senses something different about me, but I can't tell her what that is. It’s led to tension."

"Yes, certain humans are able to discern on some level when the supernatural world encroaches. She must be a sensitive."

I huffed, my laugh not quite humorous. "She seemed to like Liam well enough."

"Liam is centuries old and has had much practice in hiding his true self. You're barely a candle against the vastness of his existence."

Well, that put me in my place quite nicely.

Thomas turned from the window, his face grave as he studied me. He stepped closer to his desk, reaching to pick up a goblet of what I suspected was bloodwine. He took a sip, his eyes never leaving me. I stayed very still, not knowing what he was looking for, but feeling like I was on the precipice of something dangerous—something that could snap me up and make me bleed before I could even think to defend myself.

"What is it you want, Aileen?"

I started. "I thought Liam would have told you."

His arched eyebrow and as his lips twitched with amusement. "Yes, he's informed me of the situation."

"Then you already know."

One finger tapped against the glass as he stared at me, some of that otherworldly stillness invading and making me very aware that this was the master of the city—a being that had left his humanity behind long ago.

"That is not what you want," he said after a long moment where my instincts begged me to find the nearest exit and flee. "I'm interested in knowing what it is you want."

I tilted my head, confusion stealing through me. "I don't understand."

"It's simple. What do you want? You've made it clear that I stole your life, made you into the monster you are." He gestured to me with his glass. "What is it you want? What would you have been without my interference?"

I had never considered that question. "I suppose I would have continued on with my life. I would still be in the military."

Maybe I would have met someone by now, be on my way to a promotion. I didn't exactly know. I didn't often think about what might have been. It was a pointless exercise. All that mattered was my current existence. Everything else was just useless wishes.

"Somehow, I doubt that," he said, his lips curling.

Some of the exhaustion peeled away, and I gave him a glare. "What would you know?"

He gave a half chuckle. "Quite a bit. Let me remind you. You were lost, searching for something more. Your entire life you've been lonely, so alone that sometimes you couldn’t stand it."

"What would you know about any of that? You don't even remember that night."

"I know, because that was who I was searching for. Someone whose life was so meaningless that they would embrace the gift I had to give them. That they would risk everything to have it." He pointed at me with the glass he was holding. "I don't remember the exact manner of your making, but I do know I wouldn't have taken someone happy with their place in the world."

"You don't know anything," I hissed, my inner vampire taking control for a minute.

"I know you're lying to yourself," he said, his voice perfectly calm. "And you still haven't told me what you want."

"I just did."

"No, you told me what you thought your life would be, what you would do. You shared nothing about what YOU want."

"Why does it matter?" I asked, suddenly tired of these questions. "I'm doing what you guys want. Nothing else matters, right?"

The look he gave me was pitying, the kind you'd give someone you thought was too stupid to live. "You really have no idea who we are."

My mouth snapped closed, and I met his sympathetic gaze as I fortified my defenses, surrounding my heart with ice, determined to remain unfeeling.

"Can't we just get this over with?"

He slammed the glass down and was in front of me before I registered the movement, fangs exposed and a dark light in his eyes. He grabbed my shoulder, preventing my instinctive retreat. "No, Aileen, we can't." His voice was full of a forced patience. "This is not some feeding where you gulp a few drops down and send the donor on their way. You are asking much of me. This is a sacred bond, and I would know the person I am establishing it with before doing so."

Fear was a thick coating on my tongue. Memories flashed of the last time he was this close to me, his teeth buried in my throat and my life flowing out of me no matter how my mind fought. Paralyzed, with no way to defend myself.

My heart pounded in my chest until I could feel my pulse fluttering at my neck like a bird trapped in a cage. My hands went ice-cold, and I fought to keep from whimpering. Vampires didn't show fear. Even baby ones with more anger than sense.

His gaze focused on me as he registered the terror I fought to hide. His hand loosened and for a moment he looked sad before his mask slid down. He moved away, his form full of sinuous grace.