Mine to Fear (Mine #3)(68)

His company is already a soothing presence, but one I don't know if I deserve. “Just thinking.”

“Anything you'd like to talk about?”

I rest my head on my knees. “I don't know. It's all so jumbled and painful.”

“I wish things could have turned out differently.”

“Who knew the Grand Chancellor would be more powerful than all of us put together? There's going to be no stopping him.”

“Then we'll get away from him.”

“But what if he follows us to Envado? What if he tries to take over my country as well?”

“Then we'll have an even bigger group to fight against him, yes?”

I nod. “That is true.”

“And sooner or later he's going to take on a group that is too big and powerful for him to handle.”

“I only wish that would have been us today.”

“So do I.”

“How do you feel about Chadwick?” Jack asks.

Those tears start to well again. The last couple of days have been horrid to get through. “Guilty. I think I'll always feel guilty. But grateful too. I'm not ready to go. Something about him, though. He almost seemed ready. He loved me, but knew I could never return those feelings.”

“I'm sorry it had to end that way for him. He was a good man.”

“The best of men.”

Silence descends as I remember him and the life he gave for me.

“He wanted me to be happy, though. He knew that we could never be. That's what he gave me. The ultimate sacrifice so I could live and be happy.”

“Do you think you can be happy after his loss?”

“It will take time to mourn him. Not just him, but our loss. Everything we were trying to gain but failed at. Happiness seems like a very distant thing right now.”

“I know what you mean,” he says. “As far as I've come as a person, I wanted us to come farther as a group. As a nation.”

“And yet, here we are, running.” I sigh.

“Just think if you weren't here, though. All these people we're getting to Envado. Would that happen without you?”

“Someone else from Envado would lead them.”

“But would they have led like you did?”

Lead everyone to failure? Or maybe not. This is a loss. One harder than I know how to deal with. But when I think back on everything that happened. Everything I've accomplished, maybe it's not so much of a failure.

Women know more magic, know what they can do magic. The lower class knows there is a better way of life, even if I couldn't give it to them. Jack is a perfect example of this. He's grown so much, and there's no knowing that someone else would have been able to do that. The people I've helped, the lives I've touched. No knowing at all if someone else could have done it. “I suppose not.”

“So you being here might not have turned out like you were expecting, but it’s still critical to saving a lot of people's lives.”

“When you put it that way…”

“You are great, Waverly.”

“I want you to know something,” I say, and then take a deep breath, steeling myself to say what needs to be said. “I love you, Jack.”

Instantly, his arms are around me, warming me. “I love you too.”

And then we're kissing. There's much sorrow and pain in the kiss, but it's healing too. Like all the pain we had knows that love is just what it needs to help it feel better. The kiss deepens, and it's like a flood of emotions pouring through me. I never want it to end.

His fingers tangle in my hair, pulling me closer, and mine tangle in his. Pulled together like this, it feels as if we can do anything. Conquer anything. Win anything. Even if we can't, at least we have the love of each other.

My heart pounds as his lips move with mine. If only it was as easier to heal all our problems as Jack is at healing my heart.


***


It's time to get us out of here and go to Envado. Everyone else is gone. It's our turn. If it wasn't for the love I have for Jack, and my girls and littlest new baby boy, I'd feel hollow. My chest is threatening to feel hollow anyway. For all we've been through, it just wasn't enough, and we've lost good people during the process. And I still don't have Zade.

None of this was how it's supposed to be. The Grand Chancellor has taken away everything. Our home is no longer safe. The lives we lived were taken away. Our loved ones stolen through imprisonment or death. Our hopes and dreams have been stolen, whisked away by a man more powerful than one man should be.

Other than having each other, nothing is ours.