Melt (Steel Brothers Saga #4)(61)

At any rate, she had made a choice. I would not push it.

No woman was worth that. If she couldn’t sit down with my brother, whom she knew, and my most likely future sister-in-law when she was welcome, and neither of them minded, perhaps whatever was between us should be over.

I’d let myself get close. But she’d only been using me.

Nope. No more Melanie Carmichael.

I just hoped I could get my body to go along with my mind.

I sent a quick text to Dolores at the office to check on my schedule for the next week or so. She texted back that she could move some things around to free me up for a couple of days.

“Good news,” I said to Talon. “Dolores says I’m free. When do you want to leave?”

“How about tonight? We can take turns driving and see Wendy tomorrow morning.”

“Works for me.” I quickly texted Dolores again, letting her know.

“I just texted Wendy, as well,” Jade said. “She says she can meet with you guys tomorrow. I’ll get you the address. It’s her mother’s home in Denver.”

“You sure you’ll be okay without me for a few days?” Talon said to Jade.

She laughed. “We’ll be fine. Marj and I haven’t had any girl time for a while. Maybe I’ll slip my mother a Valium, and Marj and I can hang out.”

“No parties without me, blue eyes.” Talon smiled.

And I smiled. Seeing my brother smile warmed my heart every time. I had seen more smiles out of him in the last three months than I had in the last twenty-five years.

Damn, that felt good.

A road trip with my brother was just what the doctor—even though she had disappeared and would no longer be a part of my life—had ordered.





Chapter Thirty





Melanie




It was near six p.m. when I got home to my loft. The package from the hardware store sat on my passenger seat, taunting me the entire way home. I might never put its contents to use. In fact, I probably wouldn’t.

So why had I made the purchase?

Maybe as a little bit of a security blanket.

I unlocked my door and walked into my little place. Oddly, my cell phone hadn’t buzzed at all since I’d been gone. I’d expected Joe to call me, wondering where I was.

Even though I had left of my own free will, knowing I had been welcome there, I was still crushed that he hadn’t called. Maybe I didn’t mean as much to him as he was beginning to mean to me. Which is why I needed to let him go. I couldn’t get involved with anyone right now, especially someone who had as many issues as I did.

What a mess we would make together. A Freudian nightmare.

What I needed right now was a nice shower. Yes, I’d had a nice hot shower at Jonah’s house, and my tiny shower cubicle would never compare to that steam shower of his, but I did have lavender essential oil, and I did need to wash the chlorine out of my skin and hair. Colorado was dry enough on my skin without letting the chlorine sit on it for a long period.

I sighed. I should’ve stayed. I wished I could’ve stayed. But it would be better this way. Jonah Steel deserved better than me. He had enough to deal with in his life without taking on a woman with my baggage.

I walked into my bedroom and stripped off the work clothes that had already been off of me today. I spritzed some lavender essential oil into my shower and then turned it on to heat up.

I threw my dirty clothes in my hamper, pausing to smile at how I had picked up Jonah’s clothes in his closet that were strewn two feet away from his hamper.

He was definitely a man—an amazing man—and he would be better off without me.

I stepped into the shower and stood under it for several moments, letting the water pelt me, easing the stress away. My back hurt, and my temples had started to throb as I drove home. I took a deep inhale of the relaxing lavender scent. Still, the stress remained. I began shaking, shuddering. My breaths became more rapid.

A panic attack.

I knew the symptoms well. It was part of my professional training, after all. However, panic attacks were not the norm for me. I had experienced one only once before—when I received Gina’s letter.

Again I breathed in, out, in, out…trying desperately to will myself out of a panic attack.

But my heartbeat was thundering, nearly pounding right out of my chest.

I looked down. My left breast pulsed with my heartbeat. So fast. So fast.

Not normal. Had to get my pulse down. I inhaled one more deep breath and then sat down on the floor of my shower, the warm water raining over my body.

“Get a grip, Melanie,” I said out loud.

But the grip eluded me. Still my heart pounded. Still I breathed rapidly. I stood and forced myself to wash my hair and body. After all, that was why I had gotten into the shower in the first place, to get rid of the chlorine. As I rinsed off, I jerked with a start.

I’d heard something. But I wasn’t sure what it was.

I began my breathing again. In, out, in, out. I told myself the same thing I told my patients. When things get so bad that you think you can’t bear it anymore, return to the essential of life. Breathing.

I hoped my patients bought that drivel more than I did at the moment. It wasn’t working, and I jerked as I heard another creak.

My mind could easily be playing tricks on me. Right now, I had to bring myself out of this whirl of panic.