Melt (Steel Brothers Saga #4)(57)

“Then why take one?”

“I don’t have a choice. I have to leave my practice for a few weeks. Your brother has probably already gotten a call from Randi canceling all of his appointments for the next three weeks.”

I opened my mouth into a circle and then shut it quickly. “I’m so sorry. Why?”

She looked to the sky and then looked back at me. “Someone filed a complaint about me with the medical board.”

I shot my eyes open. “Whatever for? You’re amazing. Look at what you’ve done for Talon.”

She smiled—sort of. “Talon was one of my success stories.”

“I’m sure he’s one of many.”

She let out a breath of air, the look in her eyes forlorn. “I can’t save them all, Jonah. I only wish I could.”

“Melanie, no one can save them all.”

“I keep looking back, thinking back. What could I have done? How could I have done things differently so the outcome would’ve been good instead of bad?”

My God. I asked myself the same questions all the time. If only I had gone with Talon that day. If only…

“You have me at a little disadvantage here. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about one of my patients.”

“What happened?”

She inhaled deeply. “I can’t talk about it.”

“Of course you can.”

“No, I really can’t. Doctor-patient confidentiality.”

Right. I had forgotten about that. “I understand.”

“I wish you did understand, Jonah. I’m just carrying around so much guilt.” And then she chuckled. “I can’t believe I just said that. You do understand guilt, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I’ve had a little experience in that area.”

“No wonder I was drawn here. To you. Because you’re the one person who might just understand.”

I had been hoping she had been drawn to me for reasons other than guilt, but I’d take what I could get. I knew she had been looking for comfort, and I hoped I’d helped give her that.

I tugged on her arms and pulled her down to meet my mouth. I brushed my lips over hers, giving her a few soft kisses. “I will try to help you in any way I can.”

“All right.” She sighed. “I was kind of fudging about doctor-patient confidentiality. I can talk about it, especially under these particular circumstances. I just can’t name names. It’s just that…I don’t really want to talk about it. But I know I have to.” She laughed a bit. “God, I tell my patients all the time that they need to talk if they want to heal.” She shook her head, her wet hair sending a few droplets of water onto me. “I had a patient, Jonah. A patient who…didn’t make it.”

My heart fell. “I’m so sorry.”

“She killed herself. And I’ve racked my brain, trying to figure out what I missed. I’ve gone through my notes myriad times. I’ve gone through the sessions in my head, trying, and failing, to figure out where I went wrong.”

“Do you think that maybe you didn’t go wrong?”

“But I did. If I had done my job, if I had seen some indication that she was suicidal, I could’ve saved her. She would be alive today.”

“You’re putting a pretty heavy burden on yourself.”

“Don’t you put that same burden on yourself?”

I couldn’t fault her perception. She was right. I did. And I’d been lucky. I got my brother back. He hadn’t died, though God knew he had spent many years wishing he had.

“Let’s not talk about me right now, Melanie. I’m doing fine.” A half-truth, but what the hell? “Let’s talk about you. You’re a professional, and you know how any practice of medicine is. There are some people you can’t help. I’m very sorry for your loss. I truly am. But what else is going on here? I get the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me.”

She wiped away a tear that had fallen down her cheek. “I’m telling you all I can.”

“Is there anything I can do to help you?”

She laughed shakily. “You can maybe…give me something to do for the next three weeks.”

Was she asking me to take her away? To stay with her in the city or for her to stay here? I had no idea.

“I wish I could take you on an extravagant vacation, Melanie, and believe me when I say I would if I could. But this is autumn. It’s a busy time for us with the harvest and all and then getting the orchards and vineyards winterized.”

She shook her head vehemently. “No, you misunderstood me. In fact, I don’t know why I said that. I just wish—”

We both turned our heads simultaneously toward the door to the house, and Lucy bolted to two figures rushing toward us.

Jade and Talon.

Melanie gasped, crossing her arms over her chest and sliding back into the pool.

“Doc?” Talon said.

The poor woman turned beet red.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked.

“I think I could ask you the same thing,” Talon said.

“I’m going for a swim,” I said, clenching my teeth. “At my house. That’s it.”