Maudlin's Mayhem (Bewitching Bedlam #2)(69)

He motioned to the sky. “Really, I have to leave now. But be careful. Even though she won’t have time to make another long-term hex—not if you confront her right away—that doesn’t mean this Dirt Witch won’t be able to attack you. Most are sweet on the surface and hard as nails beneath the veneer. Don’t let her throw you off guard or you could easily end up dead.”

And with that, Garret headed down the steps to his car. I waved as he drove out of sight. First, I was going to break the curse on my household, and then, I was going after Honey. And if I could, I’d spank Ralph’s butt in the process.





Chapter 19





ON THE WAY back inside, I debated whether to tell Sandy what I was planning. But at least Garret had given me some useful information, and I planned to sneak over to Ralph’s after dark and deal with Honey. But first, I’d need to break the hex.

Sandy was waiting for me as I entered the kitchen and sat down, nursing my latte. I glanced over at the clock. It was four-thirty.

“How long till Max gets here?”

“He said he’d be here by five. He’ll bring Bubba, though I warn you, Mr. Peabody’s wish is going to be with all of us for a while. I’m looking for a scent-removal spell, because most of the cleaning products don’t work worth a damn.” She laughed. “You should have seen it, Maddy. Mr. Peabody was grooming Bubba’s belly and then…there was this look. I happened to catch it. Bubba looked like the cjinn that ate the canary and then, boom. Mr. Peabody started racing around like he was high on X, and then he started scenting every which way. I think more out of excitement rather than anything else.”

“I don’t smell much skunk on you.”

“That’s because I managed to dart out of the way before I got hit too bad, and I used a spell to drive the air the other direction. I blew out two windows with that gust, but it drove the scent out into the yard. Unfortunately, Alex and Bubba were in the way and both got showered.”

I decided right there that until Bubba and I had a little talk, that would be the last play date he had with Mr. Peabody. Some people—and creatures—just shouldn’t be handed their heart’s desire, especially when the answer to the wish came from anybody in the efreeti world, be it an efreet, djinn, cjinn, or any other variant.

I stared at my drink, thinking through what we needed to do. “We have to bring Aegis out of his lair, into the main room of the basement. There aren’t any windows in the primary room, so if we shut off the third door, we should be safe enough. I need to burn this hex-breaker and we all need to cloak ourselves in the smoke. I think I’ll put it in a wok, light it on fire, cover it briefly to build up the smoke, and then we can all gather around it and take off the lid. That way the smoke should billow up over us all.”

Sandy laughed. “Wok this way?”

I stuck my tongue out at her. “Dream on.”

“Oh, let’s not get started,” she said. We could play the song title game for hours when we were drunk. “So tell me, just when are you going to sneak over to Ralph’s to take care of his cousin?”

I blinked. She was on to me. “How did you know?”

“Oh, give me a break. I knew you heard me talking to Snow White. I was just waiting for you to ask me to help you out. Honey’s a Dirt Witch and she’s a nasty one, at that.” Sandy shrugged. “Since we can’t really prove anything so that Delia can kick her out, we take care of the matter ourselves.”

“Right, but…” I paused, then laughed. “Okay, we need a distraction for Ralph while I search for Honey’s pot.”

Sandy sniggered. “Oh, I’m sure she’ll like that.”

I swatted her. “No, really,” I said, laughing. “Garret told me how to deal with a Dirt Witch. She’s got a pot with her root in there…”

“Oh, sugar, this is sounding better and better.” By now, Sandy was leaning back, cackling loud enough that I thought she might have laid an egg. Her laughter was infectious, and by the time we managed to get hold of ourselves, Max was knocking at the back door, Bubba’s carrier gingerly in hand.

I let him in, wiping my eyes. I had needed that laugh. The moment I opened the door, a waft of fetid sickly scent washed in, thanks to Bubba, and I groaned, taking the carrier from the weretiger.

“Dude, I’m sorry. I had no idea Bubba was going to be so strongly…scented.”

“Yeah, well next time he and Mr. Peabody have a party, maybe they could leave the party favors at home?” Max shook his head. “Sandy said something about a hex-breaker?”

“Right. Come on, let’s head down in the basement now that we’re all here. Sandy, can you grab the wok?” I picked up the bag with the root charm in it in one hand, and Bubba’s carrier with the other. “Come on, twerp. We’re heading for the basement.”

Bubba stared at me through the carrier, trying to appear blasé. But he let out a little “Mrrr” and I realized he knew he had gone too far.

“Yeah, that’s right. Always apologize after the fact, just like most men. Can you just once restrain that ticklish tummy of yours? You don’t have to go offering everybody the chance to—” I stopped at Bubba’s wide-eyed look. I knew full well that he had been entirely aware of what he was doing, yet he looked so hangdog that I felt sorry for him. “Okay, you win. I trust that you’re sorry. But buddy, if you want to play with Mr. Peabody, you can’t do that again. Promise?”